Chapter 13
But maybe I wasn’t actually fragile. It had been over a week since the exhausting coffee date with my bosses, who were apparently my friends now.
My everyday life wasn’t any different … it’s not like they were adding me to a group chat or anything.
But I’d felt lighter. Freer. Awkward, of course, but a lighter kind that could almost be shrugged off on the better days.
Something had shifted, even if it was small. I’d take it.
I had already decided to curl up on the couch and watch a movie tonight since Danny told me he’d be offline tonight. The rain actually made it feel even cozier as I pulled on the fluffy blanket I always used on rainy or cold days. I’d stuffed two mini-size Snickers in my mouth before I heard it.
Ring, ring.
I froze mid-chew.
Had I forgotten to turn off the porch light?
Or, worse, was someone coming to visit?
I lay still as a board on the couch, hoping they’d go away if I made no sound.
But then I heard voices. And another ring of the doorbell.
I cursed myself again for not installing a doorbell camera or, better yet, paying a little extra for the apartments above mine without an exterior door.
You couldn’t even unlock them from the outside, so it wasn’t really a convenience in any way.
Surely the upstairs tenants didn’t have to deal with trick-or-treaters.
Finally, I dragged myself off the couch and ambled over to the door. Sure enough, I’d left the porch light on. I groaned and looked through the peephole.
I nearly fell backward when I saw the familiar face.
What was he doing here?
I swung the door open, knowing with his stubbornness, he wasn’t likely to go away easily.
“Boo!” Lila jumped out of the shadows to the side, and I nearly jumped with fright in turn.
“Lila! Jeff …” I trailed off, pausing to catch my breath and put a hand on my chest as I saw Jeff clad in a dark raincoat and Lila holding an umbrella over her witch costume. “Wha-what are you doing here?”
Jeff raised an eyebrow, but before he could speak, Lila held out her pumpkin bucket. “Trick or treat!”
“Oh, right. Um, happy Halloween!” I said, feigning enthusiasm. “Did I leave my porch light on? I’m actually not giving out candy this year.”
Lila gasped, her face stricken. “Why not?”
My eyes shifted to her father and then back to her. “It’s just not my thing. I tried it a few years ago, but …”
Finally, Jeff spoke up. “It’s fine. I promise we’re not stalking you, Roxanne. Lila just likes to be thorough and get as much candy as humanly possible.” He paused and looked down at her. “Should we stop at the dentist’s house too?”
She looked even more horrified now. “No way!”
“You know, I actually do have some candy. Let me go get some, OK?”
“It’s really not necessary—” Jeff started.
“Yay, you’re the best, Roxy!” Lila shouted as I turned around to find the candy.
With a few different mini-candy bars in hand, I turned back toward the door, only to find them standing inside on my rug.
“Oh, you’re … inside. Dripping everywhere.”
“Sorry,” Jeff said, and his wincing actually suggested he meant it.
Guilt crept through the edge of my consciousness. I should’ve asked them to come in and shelter from the rain.
“Here,” I said to Lila as I dropped the candy into her bucket.
She immediately dug them out though to inspect and turned to her father. “Dad, can I have one?”
“You had five already,” he said sharply. Then his tone softened. “What’s one more? Go ahead, sweetie.”
Lila proceeded to sit on the floor, hence expanding the amount of rainwater she dripped on my floor.
I bit my tongue lightly and looked back up at Jeff.
He was leaning closer, his hand reaching toward my face, and then we both froze.
His hand went back into his pocket. “You have something on your … lips.”
“My—” I started as my hands flew to my mouth. “Oh, chocolate. I might’ve had a little candy before you so rudely interrupted me.”
His trademark frown returned. “Sorry to bother you.”
I shrugged. “Sorry, that was unnecessary for me to say. You just …” I couldn’t finish that sentence: you just bring out the worst in me . I wasn’t that cold. Actually, I wasn’t usually cold at all; I wasn’t myself with him though. “It’s fine you guys stopped by.”
“I didn’t know you lived here, Roxanne,” Jeff said. “And you did leave your outside light on.”
“I figured as much. Else you wouldn’t have come,” I said with a wry smile until I saw his frown transform into something entirely unreadable. Fidgeting with the hair band around my wrist, I looked down at Lila, who was digging through the candy in the bucket.
“Finally, I found it!” she declared to no one in particular. “Mmm, my favorite.”
“So, you decided to skip Hazel’s party?” he asked .
“Oh, well … yes,” I said. Should I tell him about the social anxiety meetup I had actually put on my calendar as a marker of my commitment to self-improvement?
Are you insane? You can’t tell him that. He’ll look at you with such disdain, or he’ll laugh. Just like anyone would.
I raised my chin. I didn’t need to explain myself. “So did you, apparently.”
He pointed to Lila on the floor. “Hazel said it was an adults-only party, so it was out for me.”
Oh, right, because he had a daughter. This discovery was still hard to grasp.
Next thing I knew, Lila was hopping up and shaking off some more raindrops, much to my dismay. “We should probably go. I want to take some more pictures for Aunt Abby.”
“Oh, your mother’s family? Do they live out of town?” I asked politely.
Why was it usually so hard for me to ask normal questions in conversations, yet this girl made it easy somehow?
“Oh, no. Mom’s family doesn’t live around here. We don’t see them much. Aunt Abby is Daddy’s sister.”
“You have a sister?” I asked, my eyes wide and my tone incredulous.
“I do,” he replied. “You look shocked. It’s hard to believe I have a sister?”
“Yes,” I said automatically, realizing too late what his next question would be.
“Why?”
Our eyes locked, and I stared at the warm, amber color of his eyes. His hazel-colored eyes appeared to change color, but I knew it was only an illusion, a trick of light.
Finally, I remembered he was waiting for an answer. “I don’t know.”
His gaze narrowed ever so slightly until Lila tugged on his arm. “Enough boring talk, let’s go.”
Jeff’s voice sounded oddly lower than usual as he nodded. “OK, we need to stop bothering Roxanne anyway. ”
“Oh, you’re not a bother,” I said quickly, flashing a smile at Lila. “It was nice to see you.”
“I know, it so was!” Lila said just before throwing her black robe-clad arms around me. I hugged her back, even though I was going to be drenched too as a result.
“All right, I guess I’ll see you at work, Jeffrey,” I said, walking around them to try to point them toward the door.
Lila giggled. “Nobody calls him Jeffrey, not even Mommy. He hates it.”
“Oh? I didn’t know that,” I said, trying not to smile as I peeked at his glaring face.
“Yeah, his dad’s name is Jeffrey.” Then she leaned in and whispered, “I’m not allowed to call him Grandpa.”
My lips formed an oh , but no sound emerged as I shifted my eyes upward to look at him.
What’s the story there? I noted his rigid posture as he stared at the floor. Bad blood within his family, perhaps? For some reason, I wanted to know. I tried to think of how to phrase my question.
As I tried to think of how to phrase a question, his head snapped up. “Come on, we need to go, Lila.”
Before I knew it, he’d ushered her out the door, and I was just standing there staring at the closed door.
What was that ?
And why … why did I feel so disappointed at their abrupt departure?