Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jasper
Sheridan pushed me back with the tips of her fingers. She jumped down and brushed her skirt straight. Her face was beet red, and her lips kiss-swollen. “You don’t mean that.”
I pushed aside the cold her distance created. I’d never meant anything more. “Yes, I do.”
“No, you’re trying to save me.” She marched to the door.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?” Panic welled up, and I scrambled to shove my dick away and pull my pants up. She was going to leave? Just like that? I could not be left hanging with another rejected proposal.
Had I planned on asking her to marry me? Not today. But while we’d been eating, the thought crossed my mind. Then it grew. I loved her, and what was going on between us was special. It was one of a kind.
She stopped, facing away from me. “I’m going back to my office.”
I propped my hands on my hips. Pleasure still sang through my body, but it was getting muted by the second. She’d rather retreat to her cot instead of talking this out? “Why?”
Throwing her hands up, she turned around. “Because I told you that I loved you, and your answer was to save me from selling the resort.”
“That would be a by-product of getting married, yes.”
Frustration rippled through her expression. “This was supposed to be a sweet moment. Something for us, and you threw out another marriage proposal.”
I cut my hands through the air. “I said I love you too.”
“And then we should’ve gone to bed. You should’ve tucked me into your side and…and I don’t know…use two more condoms? Wake up late? Make eggs? Be in love.”
I shook my head. This wasn’t about the resort. It was, but it was more about us. “I still don’t get what I did wrong.”
“I know you don’t.” Her shoulders sagged. “You’ve been swooping in since I’ve met you, and you do it without making me feel inept. You’re not even trying. It’s just you.”
“Because you’re not inept, and we work pretty damn well together.”
“You can’t take this huge moment between us and try to fix things.” She punctuated her point with a finger in the air, then dropped her arm until her hand hit her leg. “Do you even really love me?”
I jolted. “Of course I do.” How could she think I was lying about that? Worse, how could she think I was using it to coerce her into letting me help her?
“How will I know?” The shine in her eyes broke my heart.
Three steps and I was in front of her. “Because I mean it, and I’ll prove it for forever. I love you, Sheridan.”
“Then why did you ask me to marry you?” Her voice was small, fragile.
Goddammit, how had I messed this up so bad?
“Because it feels right.” When she didn’t bat away my words, my hopes rose.
Could I save this and get the girl? “You’ve always felt right.
You saw the worth in me when I was doubting that I had much.
Then when you told me that you were giving up, I just thought why throw it all away when we could both get what we wanted. ”
The air between us filled with ice. “We could both get what we wanted? And what is it you think I want?”
Was this a trick question? A voice in the depths of my brain told me to proceed carefully. “Bishop’s Landing.”
Her lips flatlined. “And what is it that you want?”
“You.” That was an easy answer. It was all simple. Couldn’t she see that?
She held my gaze. The tip of her tongue licked out to wet her lower lip. I was on a precipice, and she was my balance. Which way was she going to go? “What if I still sold?”
I drew back, appalled at the idea. “Why would you?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. Tension rode along her shoulders. “Are you really worried about losing the land that your grandma left you?”
“I told you that it isn’t mine.”
“Yet you’ve asked me to marry you twice now to save it.”
“To save it for you,” I said slowly so she knew I was serious. “If we’re married, it’s also yours.”
“But you love me?” she asked, and there was the insecurity I hated.
“Yes.” Fuck, I was playing a game and I didn’t know the rules. “I want you.”
“But how do I know?” She tipped her head, sadness infusing her eyes. “Thanks for the date, Jasper.” She pushed out the door.
I followed, not at all done with this conversation.
As soon as my boots hit the walkway to the sidewalk, I glanced down to make sure my shirt covered my dick.
My underwear had mostly worked its way back in place, but my fly was still open.
I could focus on keeping her here without getting called in by the neighbors. “You don’t have to leave.”
“Don’t I?” She spun before she hit the sidewalk. “What if I sell the resort? What if I go back to real estate? What if the only reason you love me is because I give you purpose?”
“What?” I had purpose.
“You said your ex left you when you were down on your luck and between jobs. You said she accused you of having no ambition and being lazy. Then you were single when you worked the Knight ranch. You were jobless, and you were my Duke in shining armor.”
I shook my head, hating the point she was making. How did I show her I loved her? We were running out of time, and I needed more. She was too damn close to her car.
“And I came along,” she continued. “A hot fucking mess who made you feel useful. I’ve been doing that for you since I’ve known you.”
Anger fluttered within my confusion. “I’m not a pity case.”
“But I am.”
“I only said that so you wouldn’t think I was a lazy bum mooching off the resort!”
Her brows furrowed. “I don’t get it.”
“How’s it feel?” When her lips parted on a gasp, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Shit. I’m sorry. This is all just slamming me upside the head.” I dropped my hand. “Sheridan, that was Jensen’s idea, and I used it when I didn’t want to feel…useless.”
She studied me for several quiet moments. This was what I got for telling the truth. Indecision. Disbelief.
“I love you,” I said, refusing to give up when it seemed I was finally getting through to her.
“I want you to stay. I want you to be in my bed tonight and every night. I want to work at the resort with you and get lemonade personally delivered. I want to fuck you on your desk and in empty guest rooms. I want blow jobs in the shop.”
“That’s just about sex.”
“And lemonade.” I stepped forward, and she took a step back, but I wouldn’t let her go far.
We were so much more than sex. “You cared for me. You cared about me. Not about what I could do for you, but about me.” I poked myself in the chest. “We talked about our pasts and our hopes for the future and our families. Being around you is easy, Sheridan. I look forward to it the more I get to know you, and I fell in love. It’s as simple as that. ”
Tears shined in her eyes. “Then why ask me to marry you?”
She didn’t trust me, and she didn’t trust this.
“So we can keep taking care of each other. So we can love one another and grow old together.” I took another step forward, but this time she didn’t move away.
“So we can seize this moment to get everything we want and have no regrets. You and me. Tackling the world together. I fail, you fail. You fail, I fail. Or we succeed together. Real lovers. Real partners.”
Emotion brimmed in her eyes. Disbelief. Even some hope. A lot of fear.
The need to hold her in my arms quivered through my muscles. I could close the distance between us and wrap her in my embrace. But this time, I took a step back. Then another.
Hating the growing divide, I kept going. My intuition was roaring. If I kept pushing, she might go so far I couldn’t reach her. She wasn’t sure what to believe or what to take a chance on. As much as I didn’t want to give it to her, she needed space.
Her expression turned distraught, and her gaze dropped to my feet like they were to blame for me leaving.
“I want you to think about it.” I quit moving before I tripped myself on the front step.
“I’m going to be here no matter what. You want to sell and want to see if I’m telling the truth?
You know where I live. Tomorrow or two months from now, I’ll be waiting.
” As long as it took. “You want to get married in time to get that cabin? I’ll be at the justice of the peace at nine on Tuesday morning. ”
With that, I spun and left her on the sidewalk to make her decision. Because my mind was already made up.