Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sheridan
On Sunday, I sat at the desk and stared at my phone. REG’s business card sat next to it. Tomorrow, I’d call. Or maybe I wouldn’t.
The resort was half empty, and normally, those details would stoke my stomach acid to a swirling pool, but between my date with Jasper and the house getting rented for another full week, my mind was elsewhere. I had some extra income thanks to the rental, and a lot to think about.
He’d wait for me.
Was he really serious?
Before, I would talk to my dad—about boys and how they were never hardworking enough for me.
He would tell me that I could do anything I put my mind to—until I dropped out of college.
After the distance grew between us and then he was gone, I had talked to Mom.
She’d been just as supportive. Not as encouraging, which was probably why I had stayed with my ex for too long.
Now I had few friends and nearly no family, or at least none whom I talked to.
I didn’t have many friends, but there was Everly. She had told me I was crazy and warned me of all the pitfalls, but she had listened to me lament over my decisions. Then she’d say “I told you so.”
Eventually, I had quit calling. So had she.
She was always so happy. She had what I wanted.
Had I assumed I was no longer the right person to be in her orbit?
Had I given up because why bother when she’d just go away too?
Not once had I called her. I’d had Jasper, but I walked out on him.
Was I going to torch every connection until I was completely alone?
Everywhere Jasper went, he knew people. He fostered the relationship. He cared.
I needed a friend right now. I called her.
“Oh my god,” she answered, “I thought that town swallowed you up.”
I chuckled despite myself. “It kind of did.”
“What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” I must sound as bad as I felt. Was it like picking up the phone to Eeyore?
“You don’t call me unless something’s wrong.”
“I call you other times.”
She stayed quiet as if silently telling me to give her an example—she’d wait.
I worried my lower lip between my teeth. No previous times came to mind. The last time I talked to her was at the coffee shop, and she had called me. I’d been through an emotional roller coaster with Jasper, and I hadn’t reached out. “I guess I don’t.”
“No,” she said gently. “You don’t. But to be fair, I only call you when I want to rage about Will and the kids.”
“We weren’t always like this.”
“Since college, we’ve always lived at least a full state from each other. And then life got busy.”
“We should plan a getaway. Just us.”
“I can come there. I’ll pay, don’t worry. I’m not scamming a free room out of you.”
I rested my elbow on the desk and put my forehead on my fingertips. “About that…I’m worried there’ll be no more resort for you to stay at.”
I told her everything. How I fired Constance and how she’d snatched Maria. REG. The way I met Jasper all the way to last night. I finished with “What do I do?”
“Well. Wow.” A gusty exhale came over the line. “Are you asking me about answering Jasper or selling the resort?”
“Yes.” I was lighter. I had nowhere to float to, but it was good to get it out. I wasn’t alone.
“Each one is life changing.”
“I don’t know if I can do it.” My words were barely audible.
“You don’t know about answering Jasper or selling the resort?”
“Yes,” I said again. A hot tear rolled down my cheek. The man declared his love for me. He practically begged me to marry him. But he didn’t mean it.
What if he did?
I chewed on my lower lip. “Do you think he really loves me?”
“I don’t know.”
I dropped my head out of my hand, barely catching myself before I thunked the desktop. Mom would’ve asked me how Jasper could not love me. But I needed honesty.
“Okay, let me ask you some questions. Let me shut the door so Will knows not to interrupt me.” Muffled movement came over the line. “Now. First, let me ask you about selling. Do you want to?”
“I don’t want the stress anymore.”
“That’s not a yes.”
“It’s not a no.”
“Touché. What would you do without it?”
I reclined in my chair, phone to my ear. My stomach cramped. What would I do? “I could take the money and fund another business.”
“And what would that be?”
I didn’t answer. What would I do if I could do anything? It wasn’t like I’d been stifled. “I don’t know.”
“You’d have enough money to have some time to think about it.”
That’d be a first.
“But the resort would be gone,” she added.
A stabbing pain shot through my chest. “Yeah.”
“What about Jasper? Has he lied to you before?”
I thought back to all our time together.
My throat grew thick and it was hard to swallow.
My vision got blurry. He told me he’d do something, and he’d done it.
Over and over again. When he’d asked me to marry him the first time, he’d been honest about why.
When he stood in the doorway of my office and announced he wanted to date me, he did. “No.”
“Then do you think he’s lying about loving you?”
“No. I don’t know,” I said hoarsely. “He’s a really good guy.”
“I think you do know.” She talked to me like she had when I told her I wanted to drop out of college. I had known what I wanted to do, but had resisted because of my dad. “I think you’re afraid, and that’s what this is all about.”
“I’m terrified.” Again.
“Well, that’s a good first step.” She made a clicking sound like she was thinking. “You have to figure out if you’re too scared to keep going, and if you’re too scared to take a chance on a guy who sounds like he might be the real deal after a bunch of fakers.”
I closed my eyes. “It’s never worked out before.”
“You’re thinking too hard. Do you know what Will does?”
“Sell insurance.” What did her husband have to do with this?
“Do you know what he did before he sold insurance? He hosted sales masterminds and it went belly-up. Before that? He was a DJ. Before that, I guess his lawn care business didn’t exactly fail. He graduated high school.”
I faintly recalled her telling me about his endeavors and how he wanted to be his own boss.
“You know what he didn’t do?” she asked.
“Give up?”
“Ding, ding, ding. He didn’t berate himself for his businesses not succeeding. He kept going.”
“So did I.” Sort of. I faced a lot of small obstacles until I ran into a wall.
“You hemmed and hawed. Own it. Man up.”
A laugh sputtered out of me. “Man up?”
“Will did not think he failed because he’s a failure. He knew he was a winner, so he went out there and did the damn thing. Now he has three agents working for him and an admin guy who makes the best cookies.”
I wanted to argue that Will had more support, but I had no idea if that was true.
“Just…cut yourself some slack, Sheridan. Okay?”
“Okay.” I could do at least that. Look at my history through the eyes of someone like my friend’s husband.
Or even my brothers. Were they hard on themselves when they fucked up?
Was my dad when he sold everything, including the house I’d grown up in, to build the restaurant onto the resort?
Would my mom have left this place to me if she thought I’d make the wrong decision, no matter what it was?
Did I face that wall again?
More importantly, who was going to climb it with me?