Chapter Twenty
I was frustrated over Lorcan’s lack of urgency. He didn’t mind waiting for a week, however I did. But approaching Russian gangsters myself seemed like a very bad idea.
I took a long walk through Central Park as had become a habit in my short time in New York to clear my head.
A twig broke behind me when I meandered up the narrow pathway through a thick area of trees in the park.
I glanced around but couldn’t see anyone.
I picked up my pace, unease pushing me forward.
As Lorcan’s wife, I was probably on the hit list of numerous people, even if I tried to pretend that I was still the old Aislinn.
Suddenly a hand clamped over my mouth and I was pulled off the pathway.
I struggled, disoriented, my heart throbbing in my ribcage with panic.
My attacker was stronger than me. I was turned and looked up into Desmond’s face.
He wasn’t in a police uniform. My heartrate slowed slightly, but I distrusted his motives.
“I always wear civilian clothes. Makes certain investigations easier.” He lowered his hand. “Don’t scream.”
“I won’t,” I said, still breathless from fear.
“We don’t have long. Your husband has his spies everywhere, and I don’t need a target on my head nor do you.”
“Aren’t you on their target list because of what you do? ”
He looked around as if one of Lorcan’s men could be lurking behind a tree. “I haven’t led any investigations against Five-Leaf Clover yet.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What do you want from me?”
He gave a brisk nod. “Let’s cut to the chase. We both know you don’t love Lorcan. This marriage is a joke. The only reason why you don’t run far away from your husband is your sister.”
My eyes widened. “My mother called the police. They didn’t know anything.”
Desmond laughed, his eyes searching our surroundings. He barely looked at me, always busy making sure nobody was close. “If you really want to find your sister, Lorcan won’t be the one to help you.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s involved.”
I froze. “How do you know? Lorcan told me something very different.”
“Is it really a surprise to you that he won’t admit to being involved in your sister’s disappearance? He’s slowing down your investigations, isn’t he?”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t trust Desmond. The problem was, I didn’t trust my husband either, even if I liked him more after our conversation about our families.
“Your sister needed money when she came here, and like any cunning woman, she went looking for it in a man. Lorcan has lots of money and little patience.”
“No one from the community saw them together.”
Desmond chuckled again. “Your sister tried to trick your husband, and he didn’t like that one bit.”
“Why are you telling me this? If you know Lorcan hurt my sister, then why aren’t you arresting him?”
“Because my bosses want the Five-Leaf Clover on a silver platter. They don’t care about one morally grey girl.”
I gritted my teeth. “You want me to gather information? To be your mole?”
“I don’t know how much information you can even gather, or if any of it will be useful, but if you don’t want to end up like your sister and you want a slim chance of maybe still finding her alive, then you should help me however you can.”
I stepped back, closer to the pathway. “I can’t just trust your word. I need proof that Lorcan met Imogen, that he’s involved. ”
Desmond gave me a tight smile. “If you can wait that long. I have all the time in the world.”
I turned and ran. I didn’t like Desmond. He was creepy and strange but he was police and Lorcan was a criminal. One of them was lying, but I wasn’t sure how to find out who.
Despite my initial frustration over the week-long wait for more information, the days passed in a flash.
I was busy organizing and booking Finn’s flight, talking on the phone with one of the men who would accompany him to make sure they knew about Finn’s needs, and cooking for the potluck.
I avoided the park and tried not to overthink Desmond’s words.
I had a bad feeling about him. He’d seemed too pushy and needy, as if he would do anything to make progress, even lie.
I didn’t trust Lorcan nor Desmond. Despite this, I wondered if I should tell Lorcan about Desmond. But Lorcan might kill him, and it would be my fault. Could I live with that?
I was at an impasse, at least until Lorcan’s meeting with Sergej or until Desmond decided to show me proof. I really hoped the latter wouldn’t be the case, because it wouldn’t just be bad news for Imogen; it would be bad for me, bad for Finn and even Mum. What a mess.
Lorcan looked amused when he carried two baskets filled with food into the small kitchenette in a side room of the church.
“You’re trying to win them over with delicious food. Very clever.” He pulled me against him and kissed me. Of course, an elderly lady from the community came into the room at that moment. My cheeks blasted with heat and I mumbled an apology, but she just winked at Lorcan.
“You’re the devil,” I whispered in his direction when we left.
The mischievous look he gave me sent my head into overdrive with worry. He was up to something.
Walking into church with Lorcan at my side, as husband and wife, I felt a brief flash of shame.
This was a bond we’d made before God, but it was nothing but a lie.
Lorcan touched my lower back, urging me onward, and I realized I’d stopped right after the threshold, unwilling to parade our sham of a marriage before everyone’s eyes.
But Lorcan wanted us to be seen and so we headed to the very front and sat down. The whispers and curious glances followed us the whole way.
Seamus and his wife soon took their seats beside us.
Gulliver sent me an appreciative nod. He seemed to be the person who was the happiest about the bond, except for Lorcan. My husband definitely found great satisfaction, physically and mentally, in having me tied to him.
I listened halfheartedly to Gulliver’s drivel and was glad when Mass was over. In the past, I’d loved these moments of self-reflection, but now I felt like a fraud.
“Time to confess our sins,” Lorcan murmured in my ear.
I rolled my eyes. “Absolution of your sins doesn’t work if you intend to keep sinning. There’s no free ticket out of sin, even if you have a priest on your payroll.”
Lorcan shrugged. “One day I might stop sinning. Until then weekly confession will have to even my balance.”
“I’m sure that’s not how it works,” I repeated.
Lorcan held my hand tightly as he led me toward the confessional box.
Uncle Gulliver was still busy chatting with a group of elderly ladies.
We were the first people to arrive at the confessional.
People obviously knew that it was Lorcan’s turn first, and they didn’t want to be near when he revealed his sins.
I had to admit I’d rarely confessed in the past, not because I had never sinned but because I’d never felt comfortable talking about it.
“It looks as if my uncle is still busy. Maybe you should consider skipping confession today.” I wanted to get out of church as fast as possible. The potluck would be easier to handle. People would chat about food and not sinning.
Lorcan grinned, as usual enjoying my discomfort. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. We both have sins to confess.”
He pulled me into the confessional box with him then pressed his lips to my ear. “You used me to acquire information, sweet Aislinn. You use our marriage as a device to get what you want. You don’t honor the holy bond of matrimony.”
Used him? He fucked me every night like an animal! And we both enjoyed it. He certainly wasn’t suffering. And I never even wanted this marriage.
As if he could read my thoughts, he chuckled low in my ear. “An outburst of rage is a sin too.”
“You’re talking to me about outbursts of rage?” I whispered indignantly. “I don’t go around beating people with steel chains.”
“It’s therapeutic. Maybe you should give it a try.”
His dry humor almost made me laugh despite the horrible truth of his words.
“This week, I talked to a few old Russian friends about your sister …”
My eyes widened. Why hadn’t he said anything before? “What did you find out?”
I momentarily forgot that he was one of the suspects when it came to my sister’s disappearance, mainly for lack of other leads and because Desmond had planted the seed of doubt in my mind.
“Quid pro quo, sweet Aislinn.” He sucked my earlobe into his mouth then bit down lightly, his palm cupping my breast and squeezing. “First you suck my cock then you get the answers you desire.”
“I won’t do that in church!”
“Pity. I’m sure you can gather the information by yourself.” He made a move as if to leave the confessional.
I grabbed his arm. “No.”
Lorcan locked the booth once more and smirked down at me. “You want information, and I want to spill my cum down your throat right here, right now.”
I closed my eyes briefly, trying to forget where we were. This could be a dressing room or some sort of other booth.
“Are you praying?”
I opened my eyes and got down on my knees before I could change my mind.
In the dim light, I could see Lorcan removing his huge member from the confines of his fine dress pants.
My mouth almost watered at the sight. What was wrong with me?
I’d never been like this. Guilt reared its head.
We were in a church, and I was hungry for Lorcan’s dick.
“Suck my cock,” he ordered.
I gave him a disbelieving look. “Aren’t you feeling the slightest bit guilty? We’re in church. ”
“And I’m sure spilling my cum down your sweet throat will make me sing hallelujah. Now suck me.”
I leaned forward and took him into my mouth before I circled his tip and sucked on it while my hand cupped his balls.
“Deeper.”