Chapter 10 #2
I grabbed my phone and at the same time was remembering how painful it had been to watch my friend learn he’d missed almost nine years of his child’s life, when my stomach clenched.
The knot in my gut tightened and my hand shook as I scrolled through my contacts, found Holden’s name, and before I could puss out, I hit the icon to connect the call.
Three rings later Holden answered, “Yo, Rhode. Long time, brother.”
“Yeah, work’s been busy,” I explained.
“What’s wrong?”
“That obvious?” I huffed a chuckle.
“You sound like you’ve been force-fed your balls. Bad case?”
If someone at any point in my life had told me I’d be contemplating if I’d rather have my balls forcibly removed or be in the situation I’d found myself in, I would’ve called that person a dumbfuck.
Yet, there I sat wondering which would be less painful—missing out on more of Remy’s life or losing my balls.
“Need your advice. But just to say, you don’t wanna talk about what I gotta bring up I understand.”
There was a beat of silence before Holden grunted, “Where are you?”
“In my Jeep driving—”
“No, asshole, what state? Do you need me to come to you?”
Holden’s offer scored through me and burned my throat so my voice was gruff when I announced, “I got a son.”
“Come again?”
That knot turned venomous and I prepared to remind Holden about a time my friend would likely not want to remember.
“Remember when I called you about the box of Paul’s shit I found?”
“There a point to you bringing up that asshole?”
Paul was Charleigh’s dead husband. Charleigh was Holden’s wife.
But before Charleigh had married Paul, she’d been Holden’s girl.
Holden had stupidly broken up with her. Paul had quickly moved in, then lied to get Charleigh to marry him, then continued to lie to keep her.
And it wasn’t until Paul had been dead a good long while that I discovered the truth.
And as they say, the truth will set you free.
In Holden’s case, that truth had led him to the daughter he didn’t know he had.
And that was what I needed to talk to Holden about.
“I wouldn’t bring it up if it wasn’t relevant to my story. I told you I found the box but I couldn’t bring it to Maryland for a week. I was out of town in D.C. working a case with Takeback.”
“It was five years ago but I remember,” he confirmed.
“I met the guys in D.C. and that night I hooked up with a woman. The next morning she left, that afternoon the guys and I flew out west. Didn’t get her name and she didn’t have mine.
Fast forward five years, I’m in Spokane at an abandoned lumber yard pulling vics out of containers and the woman shows up with a family thinking we’d rescued their loved one. ”
“Fuck,” Holden rasped. “And you got a boy you didn’t know you had with a woman you didn’t know you knocked up.”
“Yep.”
This time the silence stretched more than a beat yet I was at a loss. I’d called Holden looking for answers but now that I had him on the phone I understood there might not be a right answer.
“Fucked-up twist,” Holden said. “You were pulling me out of my misery, giving me Faith, and at the same time you were unknowingly losing something precious.”
There it was, the reason the knot had grown so tight.
Five years ago, I’d called Holden on my way to the hotel where I’d met Brooklyn to tell Holden about a box full of papers I’d found hidden in Paul’s mother’s house.
Papers that included a letter from Paul admitting his lie.
A letter that would give Holden his daughter.
And a few short hours later I had created a child and unwittingly lost my son all in the same day.
Same but different.
Close enough that Holden would understand what I was feeling.
“I don’t know what you need from me, brother,” Holden went on. “But whatever it is you got it.”
“I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted.
“I’ve seen Remington once. I’ve said less than ten words to him but it’s like something has snapped into place and that sounds corny as hell, but there it is.
A month ago I didn’t know I had a son, but now I cannot imagine not having him.
And that’s my problem. I want him—right now.
I want to know everything about him. I want to see every picture Brooklyn’s taken of him.
I want to hear him talk, I want to make him dinner and take him to the movies.
I wanna toss a ball with him, teach him to ride a bike, buy him everything he wants.
I want to hug him and tuck him in at night.
I want him living under my roof and I want that to start tonight. ”
“First, Remington? Cool as fuck name. And second, brother, sounds to me like you got a handle on this—you want him in your life—so I’m not sure what you mean when you say you don’t know how to do it. Lastly, you said a whole lot about your boy but what about his mother? Is she—”
“She’s mine,” I growled. “Brooklyn’s not the issue.
I knew it was a mistake letting her leave my room without getting her name—regretted that for years.
Never thought I’d see her again and that sucked because I knew I’d live out my days knowing I let The One get away.
Seeing as I’m not stupid, I won’t be letting that happen.
But I gotta work that smart because she’s got shit piling up around her that I gotta see her through.
I didn’t know where she was at, but earlier she gave me an indication she was open to exploring things with me.
I’m not gonna waste that opportunity and I’m moving in fast with her.
But with Remy, I got no clue how to play that.
I’m impatient to get to know my boy, but I don’t wanna freak him out or push him away.
So what I need from you is for you to tell me how fast I should go. ”
“As the man who’s been in your shoes, I get what you’re saying.
I know that feeling to want to rush, be all you can be, get back all you lost all at once.
But speaking as a father, thinking about Remington, you need to go slow and steady.
Let the steady guide the pace. Remington will clue you in on how fast you can go. ”
That was smart.
I thought I’d follow Brooklyn but taking cues from Remy was better. Then Brooklyn could decide when and how we were going to explain that I was Remy’s dad.
“Not trying to piss you off but you’re sure he’s yours?”
“So sure I’m positive. She offered a DNA test but either she found the long-lost twin I never knew I had and fucked him or Remy’s mine. He couldn’t look any more like me if I’d made him all by myself.”
“Then the last thing I have to tell you is something you actually don’t need me to say but I’m gonna share it all the same.
No better feeling. I love my Leigh-Leigh more than breath, I don’t hide that from her or anyone.
But Faith, Paisley, and Ian—they’re my lifeblood.
There is no better feeling than looking at those three and knowing that me and Leigh-Leigh created all that beauty.
You got all that waiting for you; hold on to it and if need be fight to keep it. ”
I wasn’t the sentimental type—never had been. But after everything Holden had been through I was pleased as fuck my friend had found happy. No, my friend had found, lost, then fought to have it all.
“I take it the kids are good.”
“My kids are perfect. Or I should say Faith’s fourteen and driving her mother around the bend with teenage-girl attitude.
Paisley’s a daddy’s girl and at five she’s smart enough to know how to manipulate me into giving her anything she wants which drives my wife further around the bend.
But my boy loves his momma and clings to her which fills her with glee and makes her forget that Faith rolls her eyes twenty-seven times a day and Paisley gets whatever she wants. ”
More confirmation Holden Stanford had it all. Three perfect kids and a beautiful wife he adored.
But that didn’t stop me from giving my friend shit, “Damn, fourteen. Boys are gonna be—”
“If the boys are smart they’ll stay the fuck away from my daughters. And the ones who aren’t and come sniffing around will learn quick I go from friendly to pissed-off dad in a nanosecond.”
“Just to say, you’ve never been described as friendly.”
“True story,” Holden muttered.
I seriously meant it when I said, “I appreciate you giving me your time and wisdom.”
“I owe you more than time and wisdom and you know it. But even if I didn’t I’m happy you called. I’m sure it will be a while before you’re ready for a Gemini Group invasion but when you are, let us know and we’ll come to you. Meet your woman and your boy.”
At that, I smiled. Remington would be beside himself meeting Nixon, Alec, Weston, Chasin, Jonny, and Holden.
As soon as Brooklyn and Remy were comfortable around me, Wilson, Davis, Reese, Cole, and Jack, I was bringing the guys from Maryland out to Idaho or I’d fly them out there and stay at Chasin and his wife Evie’s house.
On that thought, I wondered if Brooklyn liked country music. Evie was a former country music sensation and the only reason why she was a former superstar was because she’d given it all up for her slice of heaven. Luckily for Chasin, she found that with him.
“As soon as they’re ready I’ll set it up,” I returned. “Listen, I gotta run. I’m at Brooklyn’s work. Thanks again.”
“Any time and congratulations.”
Holden disconnected which was a good thing because suddenly I was breathing funny.
Congratulations.
Fuck.
Congratulations were certainly in order.