Chapter 11
“Oh, no, baby, spread ‘em. I’m hungry.”
I quickly locked the bathroom door and got to my knees. I draped her legs over my shoulders and pushed her panties to the side.
With the first lick, I was drunk with desire. She tasted so damn good. My tongue teased at her entrance, and my thumb lightly grazed her clit.
“Oh my God,” she mumbled.
My last thought before I went to work devouring her pussy was I hoped she remembered the towel. Because I was going to tongue-fuck her like she’d never been before.
I cleared my throat, made a few notes on the manuscript I was narrating, and tried again.
I was on my second practice run and about to start recording when I heard shuffling behind me.
“Lets, I only have ten minutes until I have to leave. Shut the door, yeah?”
When she didn’t answer, I craned my neck to look over my shoulder and froze.
Not Letty.
Rhode.
Shit.
My head whipped around, my gaze went back to the papers spread out in front of me, and my eyes scanned the words. This was unnecessary since I’d memorized the passage.
Hungry. Knees. Panties. Lick. Desire. Tasted. Tongue. Teased. Clit. Devouring. Pussy.
“Letty said if the door was open, you weren’t recording.”
Rhode’s gruff voice filled the small space and heat hit my cheeks.
I’d heard that gruffness, that rasp, that terse tone before.
The way his voice deepened when he’d ordered me to my knees.
The husky timbre when he’d commanded me to ride him.
The sharp desire in his voice when he’d told me how sweet I tasted.
“I was practicing,” I squeaked.
“Practicing?”
“Male point of view. I was testing…um…never mind. I wasn’t recording.”
“Think you got the male point of view down pat, babe.”
Oh my God.
“So, how much did you hear?”
“My guess all of it since I heard you run through it twice. First time was hot as fuckall, the second time, you deepened your voice, which is probably what you were going for since you said male point of view. Though I might not be the best judge since my brain went offline when he pushed her panties to the side. I hope to fuck the dude knows what he’s doing and gets her off. ”
My eyes drifted closed—not because I was embarrassed but because my mind was flooded with memories of all the glorious things Rhode could do with his mouth. All the ways he could get me off.
“It’s romance.” I shrugged. “Of course he gets her off.”
“You say that like it only happens in romance books.”
“You know what they say, the book’s always better.”
“Was it, Brooklyn?”
“Was it what?”
“Was the book better, baby?”
Oh, crapamoly. I’d opened the door and Rhode had walked right through it and he was dragging me with him down memory lane.
“Rhode—”
“Five years I’ve been thinking about that night.
Year after year and I can’t forget. Year after year I wonder if I’m making it more than it was.
If I’m remembering it incorrectly, if I’m exaggerating in my mind how fucking phenomenal it was.
Year after year, dreaming about how fucking gorgeous you were when you came apart, how good you felt wrapped around me.
Nothing before, nothing after, has felt better.
So, tell me, Brooklyn, those books you read—are they better than what we shared? ”
I knew he’d thought about me over the years, but him saying it again, this time straight-out talking about sex, I felt strange things happening between my legs.
Maybe the wetness I felt wasn’t strange, it was simply unfamiliar since I hadn’t felt it happen in five years.
But then it wasn’t all that unfamiliar either, since I’d used the memory of the night to fuel my solo sessions with my vibrator.
“Brooklyn?” he growled and a shiver raced up my spine.
“No, the books I read aren’t better,” I admitted.
I felt his heat hit my back and his arms went around my middle. One of his hands rested on my hip, the other pressed against my stomach and held me tight.
I hadn’t fully recovered from Rhode touching me when his head dropped forward and his mouth went to my ear.
“Six hours, Sugar. That was how long I had you. That was all it took for me to drown in the promise of you. Looking forward to more. Looking forward to feeling you wrapped around me—all of you, Brooklyn. Fuckin’ love the way you hold on.
So fuckin’ tight, like you never wanna let go.
Love feeling your legs wrapped around my hips, your nails scratching down my back, how fuckin’ wet you get.
Goddamn, baby, so hot and tight and wet.
Every time. From the first time to last, every time I sank inside you.
Never could forget how good you felt. Holding on tight but at the same time letting go, giving me everything.
And, baby, I want everything. I want it all.
I want your beautiful eyes staring at me when you come.
I want your hands and mouth on me. I want you falling asleep next to me, pressed close.
I want to hear you whisper more secrets.
And I want all of that right now. I tried to find it in me to give you slow.
But I don’t have it in me. I had you, then I lost you, and, Brooklyn? I’m not losing you again.”
My body trembled. I wanted all of that, too.
So damn much it went beyond crazy, straight to out-of-my-mind.
The problem was Rhode had no idea my heart, hopes, and dreams were also wrapped around him.
It sounded like he wanted more sex—which, hello, I would be crazy-stupid to turn down.
He wanted to get to know his son. And he’d asked me out on a date but maybe it was a get-to-know-the-mother-of-my-child-date.
“You want that, too.”
He wasn’t asking, he knew. He was holding me close so he felt the full-on body quake.
“There are things you need to know,” I whispered.
“Yeah, Sugar, there are. A lot we both need to learn about each other. And I plan on laying it out for you. I’ll tell you everything about me. No bullshit. No games. I got no problems baring my soul to you. All I ask is you give it to me straight. Everything, Brooklyn. Total honesty.”
“Total honesty?”
“Absolutely.”
I took a deep breath and wondered how honest I should be. How badly would it freak him out if he knew he’d stolen my heart back in D.C.? Would he run a mile if he knew I’d give him everything if he promised to stay?
“Everything, Sugar,” he whispered like he read my mind. “Give it to me.”
“I want you to stay,” I admitted.
“That all?”
No, that wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg.
“I’m happy you never forgot me because I never stopped thinking about you.
And not because of Remington. Not because you were my fantasy come to life.
I never stopped thinking about you because from the moment you walked into that bar I knew my life would never be the same.
I looked at you and I started to fall in love. I know it sounds crazy—”
“It’s not crazy.” Low, gruff, raspy. I shivered again.
“I walked into the bar that night with my mind being pulled in a hundred different directions. Then I see this beautiful woman sitting in a booth by herself and the first thing I think is I’d never seen a woman more stunning.
Then I watched you work for a few minutes while I waited for the guys to come down.
Every couple of seconds, your lips curved up and I wanted to know what you were reading that was making you grin.
The longer I watched, the more the noise in my head started to dissipate.
All my thoughts narrowed to you and why you were alone in a bar smiling.
When you noticed me and I saw your eyes widen you had me hooked.
Don’t know what it was because you looked away so quickly but in that single second I felt at ease—something I hadn’t felt in a decade. ”
“Why hadn’t you felt at ease for a decade?”
Rhode went stiff behind me and his hand on my belly pressed deep.
“You want that story, I’ll give it to you. But we don’t have the time right now.”
Hm. I liked that he said he’d tell me, but something was wrong.
“Why’d you tense up?”
“Because I liked that you asked me something personal.”
That didn’t jibe.
“Why are you lying?”
Rhode’s sharp jolt of laughter made me jump but I didn’t get very far when his hand on my hip held me in place.
“That’s it, Sugar; don’t let me get away with deflecting. Now and always, you call me on my shit.”
“Oh-kay.”
“Total honesty?” he asked and I nodded. “I wasn’t lying.
I liked that you asked me something personal, but more I liked that you sound like you genuinely cared about my answer.
I have a lot of good friends in my life.
Men who are like brothers to me. Men who I can call and no matter where they are or what they’re doing they’ll drop everything to take my back.
But I’ve never had a woman who asked, cared, or wanted anything from me. ”
How could that be true? Rhode was hot, surely there’d been a slew of girlfriends—women who’d cared about him.
Women he’d cared about. My heart revolted at the thought of Rhode being in love with another woman.
My silly-romantic heart couldn’t bear the thought of him not feeling the same way I felt for him.
I had never loved another man. Not even a puppy-love.
Not even a twinge of the makings of love.
“It’s true, Brooklyn,” he said, once again reading my thoughts.
“I’ve never cared nor have I been cared for.
I can’t say it’s because I’ve kept myself closed off but I wasn’t looking for it either.
Bottom line is, until I met you, there was never even a stir of emotion.
I won’t lie and say I fell in love with you but I felt something deep enough I couldn’t forget you. ”
Damn. That stung my fool-heart. The irrational, starry-eyed dreamer side of me wished he had. The normal, rational side knew he was being honest. Not only that but reasonable, sane people didn’t fall in love with a glance.
I wasn’t going to tell him I was insane and I’d wished he’d seen me across a not-so-crowded bar and knew down to his soul I was the woman he was meant to share his life with. That wouldn’t have him running; that would have him checking me into a mental institution, worried I was a crazy stalker.
So instead I settled on, “Twice you’ve read my mind.”
“You’re easy to read, Sugar.”
For my peace of mind, I chose not to believe that. If I was easy to read that meant he’d see more than I was prepared for him to see.
Rhode chuckled again and I quickly snapped my eyes shut so I could concentrate on the rumble vibrating from his chest. I felt his warm breath fan over my neck right before his lips brushed the shell of my ear.
If he wasn’t holding me vertical I would’ve hit the floor.
“Yeah, Brooklyn, I see you,” he gently murmured.
“I saw it that night, I saw it when you were leaving. Torn, wanting to stay, too scared to tell me what was on your mind. So I let you go. And part of the reason why was because I was scared, too. Another reason was that I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I might not have fallen with a look, but, Sugar, by the time you walked away I knew if I spent more time with you I would.
And I was right—the more time that passed the further I fell.
But I was also wrong because I didn’t need you present for me to take that fall.
I’ve learned to listen to my instincts. There is something undeniable between us.
It was there five years ago and time apart hasn’t changed a damn thing. ”
Rhode’s words wrapped around me as surely as he was holding me. My heart rate ticked up and my heart shattered open.
Wide-open, with no chance of me closing it.
“Please be sure,” I pleaded.
“I’m positive.”
“Rhode, please honey, be very sure.”
“Brooklyn—”
“You want honesty. All of it. Right now I’m not thinking about Remy and what this could mean for him.
I’m coming to you as a woman who lost her heart in six hours.
I’m coming to you as a woman who hasn’t looked at another man in five years because no one could compare.
No one could begin to erase the memory. So, I’m begging you to be careful with my heart because it belongs to you. ”
I heard the sharp inhale. I felt his body go solid. I held my breath and waited.
Thankfully, Rhode didn’t make me wait long.
“You have my word I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I wasn’t a hundred percent positive I want you right where you are.
And just so you don’t have to guess I’m gonna spell it out.
If I wasn’t sure, I’d stay to be in Remy’s life and I’d do that in a way where you and I would be friends so we could raise our son together.
But that’s not why you’re in my arms after years of being in my heart. ”
I didn’t doubt him, not for a second. And that wasn’t me being starry-eyed; that was me knowing instinctually that Rhode was not a bullshitter and he wasn’t a liar.
“Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? Something low-key so you can spend some time with Remy?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation.
“I talked to a buddy of mine,” Rhode went on.
“He was in a similar situation. His advice was to go at Remy’s pace.
Introduce me slowly at first but do it frequently.
Then we can move at his speed to something more consistent.
But you’re his mom, you know best, so you’re in charge of reining me in when I wanna go full-speed. ”
“Can you be reined in?”
“For Remy, I can do anything. Even the impossible.”
I sucked in a breath so painful I swayed. Pain so exquisite I reveled in it. My son was blessed; he had a lot of people in his life who loved him. But right then, hearing Rhode’s fierce determination, I knew down to my soul none of them could possibly love him more than Rhode would.