Chapter 75 Beg for me – Briar
BEG FOR ME
brIAR
Koen’s gone by the time we wake up.
Remi and I stop by the kitchen for breakfast. I’m tense, rounding the corner like I’m walking to my execution, expecting to find him standing there.
But the kitchen is empty, except for Alex. He’s leaning over the counter, eating a bowl of cereal, eyes on his phone.
I ask him, because I have to know…
“He left early this morning.”
Oh.
My face falls, and Alex’s jaw ticks at the sight. I recover quickly, forcing a smile on my face when I offer Remi options for breakfast: frozen waffles or cereal?
The disappointment is crushing, because as scary as Koen is, and the threat of what he could do to me if he so decides… I’d take it. I’d take his anger—his malice, his fury—over his silence.
The day ticks slowly by, and I feel myself slipping away. The flicker of hope that Koen might care about the fact that he has a daughter is slowly suffocating, and my worry over what’s to come of us is taking over.
It’s late. Remi’s long since fallen asleep beside me. I stare out the glass doors across the frozen lake outside. The moon is full tonight, and the silvery glow reflecting off the shiny surface lights up the darkness.
The showcase was tonight.
I missed it.
But strangely, I can’t bring myself to even care.
I startle at the low whine of the bedroom door as it opens, locking eyes with Koen just as he freezes in the doorway.
He doesn’t say anything, but his impassive eyes darken at the sight of me before he looks away. Stalking purposefully over to the dresser on the far wall, he wrenches open the drawers, pulling out what looks to be some clean clothes, before turning, to leave again.
“Wait,” I call out, keeping my voice low so I don’t wake Remi, but loud enough to know he heard me.
He doesn’t, disappearing back through the door. He’s barely got it closed before I’m shoving off the covers, and chasing after him out into the hallway.
“We need to talk!”
“No, we don’t,” he bites out, not bothering to look back as he’s closing in on the stairs.
A surge of frustration spurs me forward, and I run after him, grabbing hold of his arm to stop him from leaving.
“Stay, please.” The words sound pathetic—but I am pathetic—and desperate. I need him to put me out of my misery, one way or another.
Koen growls at my touch, and I release him almost as soon as I have him, but it’s too late; he whirls on me, fury flaming through indifference. I back up, hitting the wall, and his arms come up, caging me in.
Words flood out of me, but he looks away, his hand curling around my arm, moving me roughly out of the hall and into another room—another bedroom. He shuts the door behind us.
“Don’t.” His eyes flash as he reels on me, his fist clenched tight at his side. “Don’t stand there and pretend this was ever anything more than what it was. You used me.”
“That’s not true,” I argue, but he’s shaking his head, refusing to hear me out.
“You want to know what the worst part of all of this is?” My lips press together, and my heart is thundering; the edge in his voice is sharper than a knife. “It’s not the way you betrayed me, or lied… No, the worst part isn’t what you did—but how I actually believed you wanted me.”
There’s a raw bit of vulnerability in his voice, and the sound of it cleaves my heart in two.
“It was just a lie.” He shakes his head, backing away, moving toward the door.
“It wasn’t a lie… Not all of it,” I say quietly.
“Stop lying!”
“I’m not!” My voice breaks. “I wanted to tell you! I wanted to tell you all of it because I do care about you. I wanted—” I shake my head because it doesn’t matter anymore.
None of it matters anymore. He’ll never forgive me after what I did, but I can still apologize.
“I’m sorry, Koen.” His name on my lips stops his retreat from the bedroom. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He turns back, striding toward me, closing the gap between us in less than two strides, grabbing hold of my jaw to stop the words from coming out of my mouth.
“I don’t want to hear how sorry you are.” His voice is hard and full of malice, and he holds me there, looking down at me, the dark edges of his eyes glinting in the light. “I want you to show me.”
He releases my jaw, his fingers finding the zipper of his jeans, dragging it down slowly.
I swallow hard.
“You said you wanted me? That it wasn’t just another lie? That you’re sorry?” I try not to flinch at the venom dripping from his words.
“Then prove it. Get on your knees, open that pretty little mouth, and show me just how much you want me.” His tone is cold, his words a challenge. He doesn’t think I’ll do it—doesn’t think I’ll take the bait.
Surprise flashes in the dark shadows of his eyes when I sink down to my knees, holding his gaze as I do. His eyes go fully black at the sight.
“You want this?” The doubt in his tone is clear. He’s holding himself back. Despite his anger, maybe even his desire, he doesn’t want to take more than I’m willing to offer.
“I want you,” I say clearly. “I always have.”
“You don’t know what it is you’re asking for, Love.”
He frees himself, and he’s already hard. “Beg for it. I dare you,” he commands, his eyes alive with the challenge. “Convince me you’re mine.”
He still doesn’t think I’ll go through with this.
“I am yours,” I breathe out, holding his hard stare. “I’ll do anything—”
“Anything?” His head tilts to the side. The little smile that tugs up the corner of his lip is unnerving, and I feel the first pang of fear, but shove it away. He promised me, and I’m certain that no matter how much Koen hates me, he won’t hurt me. Not physically, anyway.
“Open,” he says, stepping towards me. His hand fists in my hair, holding my head steady as he guides the tip of his cock between my lips. “Suck.”
My cheeks hollow, letting him slide into my mouth, looking up at him as he does.
“Change of heart?” he asks, and I shake my head no.
“Wider.”
I stretch my mouth, opening it as wide as it can go, and then I lick and suck him until his head rolls back and he lets out a groan.
I take this as encouragement, and pick up the pace, turning myself on as I work him.
My fingers slide down, dipping beneath the waistline of my borrowed boxer shorts.
I whimper when I find my clit, and my throat tightens.
Koen tugs my head back, pulling out, and I look up at him, confused.
He clicks his tongue while shaking his head. “Hands behind your back, little Rose.”
The glare I shoot up at him is sharp enough to cut glass, but I obey, lacing my fingers behind my back.
“There’s a good girl.”
His fist tightens in my hair as he drives back into my mouth.
But this time, he’s in control, and he doesn’t let up for anything.
He pushes deep, thrusting down into my throat.
He doesn’t relent, even as I choke and gag around him.
My throat burns, and tears leak down both cheeks, but I tilt my head back, giving him more.
My eyes find his, and his body tenses right before he spills down my throat.
I swallow every drop.
When he’s done, he lets go of my hair, pulling out and tucking himself back into his jeans while looking down at me.
“This—this is all you’re good for. Remember, little Rose, you belong to me. I will never be yours, but you will always be mine.”
My heart shatters, and I cannot hide the hurt from my face when he takes one last disgusted look at me before stalking out of the room.
Leaving me again.