Chapter 12 Sweet As Sugar #6
“Fuck, you’re in so much trouble when I come over tonight,” he says as he grabs me and kisses me hard before I stand.
“It’s worth it,” I shrug. “I’ll see you later.” I kiss him again, only softer.
“Drive safe, please,” he says.
“Always,” I smile, pick up my stuff, and leave his office as he is talking again on the call.
I make my way to my car and fight traffic to get to my apartment.
I bought a test a few days ago but I haven’t had the guts to take it yet.
I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s positive.
Will he be mad? He can’t be since he never wore a condom.
I can’t be surprised because I never did anything to prevent it either.
I have three different kinds. A digital one, one with regular lines that are like a stick, and one that uses a dropper.
I pee in a disposable paper cup before washing my hands and setting up the tests.
I am pacing in the bathroom, trying not to panic.
It’s just three minutes, then I will know.
That’s not too long to wait. I just need to be patient and keep my thoughts from spiraling.
The timer goes off and I jump, startling me out of my thoughts. “It’s okay, Raven. It will be okay,” I encourage myself.
I walk over to the counter and look at the tests.
Two lines on the first…
Two lines on the second…
Pregnant on the digital one…
“Fuck…” I say quietly.
“Fuck!” I shout. I pull my phone out and my first instinct is to call Sable, but I stop.
I go to call Marc next, but I don’t wanna do that either.
I am sure as fuck not calling my dad. I don’t know what to do.
I feel like I don’t have anyone suddenly.
Would my best friend really be okay with her father getting me pregnant?
Does Marc even want another child? He treats me like I’m his whore, not his girlfriend.
Why the fuck would he want to raise a child with me?
I am so overwhelmed suddenly that I can’t think, so I get everything I need to go and shower. I step under the water and close my eyes, letting the scalding water relax me.
I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but the water starts getting chilly right as the bathroom door opens. “Raven?” Marc says.
“Yeah,” I say quietly. “I’ll be out in a second.”
“Okay. I brought us dinner,” he says. When I hear the door shut, I get out and get dressed before I put the tests in a drawer out of sight. I don’t know how he didn’t see it, but I don’t think he was really looking for anything either.
“You okay?” Marc asks when I come out of the bathroom.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“Are you hungry?” he asks. He steps in front of me before I go around him and walk out of the bedroom.
“No. Go ahead and eat though,” I say.
“You haven’t eaten all day, Raven,” he says.
“I don’t need a keeper. I said I wasn’t hungry,” I snap.
“Clearly you do if you’re not eating,” he says. “When did you eat last?”
“Jesus Christ, Marc. I said I wasn’t hungry,” I say, raising my voice.
“Excuse me. Since when do we yell at each other?” he asks calmly.
“Oh, fuck you,” I say louder. The logical part of my brain instantly regrets the moment I say that. I don’t mean it. I don’t handle stress well and I feel like I’m stuck in a tornado and my whole world is spinning around me.
“What is your goal here, Ravy?” Marc asks. I roll my eyes at him and walk back to the bedroom. I don’t know why I’m taking it out on him. It’s my fault too.
“Go home, Marc. I’m going to bed,” I say flatly.
“No, we need to talk about whatever this is.” he says as he gently grabs my arm to stop me.
“Now you wanna talk?” I ask as I turn around and shove him away from me. He doesn’t hesitate to grab me and pull me closer to him.
He wraps his hand around my throat, but he doesn’t apply any pressure. He simply holds me in place, but I’m frozen looking in his eyes. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong, but you need to stop being a child and talk to me,” he warns me.
“Real fucking ironic coming from you,” I snap.
“I know you’re not actually mad at me so you either need to calm down and talk to me or be prepared to get punished for having an attitude,” he says, that warning remaining in his tone.
“Why should I talk to you when you don’t talk to me?” I ask. “Oh right. Because I’m just something for you to use.”
That must have snapped something in his brain because his facial expression changes to something I don’t recognize, and he pushes me back onto the bed. “For me to use?” he asks.
“Marc, I…” I start to say but he flips me and jerks my shorts down. “Please listen to me.”
“Oh. No, it’s too late for that, Raven. Remember, I only use you for your body,” he says as he grabs the lube from my nightstand drawer.
I guess I could get up and move, but I very much deserve what he’s about to do.
Oddly enough, I want him to punish me. I need to get my mind off of this.
I suppose that’s why I was just a bitch to him.
“Marc,” I say again but he ignores me and applies lube to my ass. “Whoa, wait. Hold on.”
“I think it’s time I use this ass, don’t you?”
“Marc. You’ll hurt me,” I say hurriedly when he climbs on the bed. “Marc, please.”
“Go ahead, Raven. Use your safe word,” he says in my ear. I don’t want to, so I say nothing. I want this. “That’s what I thought.”
Marc leans into me as I lie flat and covers my mouth.
I whimper when I feel his cock press against my ass but that quickly turns into a muffled scream when he goes balls deep with one swift and punishing thrust. I can’t help but continually screaming as he starts to fuck me harder and harder.
He is slamming into me harder than he has before, and real pain radiates through me.
His grunts and the way he moans as he kisses and bites my neck helps to relax me.
When I stop screaming, he uncovers my mouth and pulls me up to my knees. I hear a buzzing sound right as he puts the wand he bought me in my hand. I waste no time reaching between my legs and pressing it to my clit.
“Oh fuck,” I moan and push back into him.
Marc tightens his grip and pulls out to the tip before slamming into me again.
Each time he fills me, I whimper. Those turn to moans and eventually, I’m back to near screams as I get stuck in a loop of the rise and fall of orgasms. Marc’s moans are intoxicating when he pulls me up against his chest and he’s crying out his pleasures in my ear as I match his thrusts to help him fuck me harder.
I am shaking so badly that I can’t hold the wand, so he takes over as I turn slightly so I can kiss him.
When he finally peaks and pushes deep, he fills me with his come as he moans and whimpers my name. He brings me down to the bed and I’m completely out of it. I hardly notice him get off the bed or even clean me up. It’s not until he lies down and rolls me to my side that I snap out of my daze.
“I’m sorry,” Marc says softly as he cups my face.
“It’s okay,” I say.
“No, it’s not,” he says. “I actually hurt you but gave you no opportunity to say your word. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I didn’t want you to stop,” I say. “No harm done.”
“Raven,” he says softly.
“Did you make me bleed?” I ask.
“No.”
“Okay then. I’m fine. No harm done,” I smile. “I both deserved and wanted that.”
“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?”
“I’m pregnant,” I say after a moment of silence. He stares at me with a blank look, and I get up.
“Raven, wait. Come here,” Marc says.
“Don’t worry about it, Marc. Seriously,” I say. “I’ll raise it alone. I’m not asking for anything. I thought you would wanna know why this has to end.”
“What? Raven… why would you think you are raising our child alone?” he asks.
“I don’t know, Marc. Maybe because I want to be treated like more than just your whore,” I snap. “I don’t want my child questioning why Daddy doesn’t love Mommy. I refuse to be my mother.”
“Raven, baby. You can be my whore and me still love you,” he says. Instead of slowing down to try and understand what he means, I explode.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I scream at him. “Get out!”
“Ravy, you’re not understanding…”
“Go,” I scream. “Get the fuck out!”
“Baby…”
“Go! Just get the fuck out! Get out! Get out!” I scream so loud that my voice breaks and I start crying.
He puts his hands up as if to surrender and leaves the bedroom. I slam the door and put on my robe before moving to the corner to sit. I pull my knees to my chest and rest my forehead on my knees as I sob.
I’m so fucking scared to do this alone. I don’t want to do this alone. I want Marc but he doesn’t want me. Did he ever? Was I just a warm body? My thoughts spiral deeper and deeper into chaos by the time I feel a hand my shoulder. I recoil, but it doesn’t go away.
“Raven, baby. It’s me,” Sable says softly. I immediately pull her into a hug and fall deeper into my sobs as she holds me and rubs my back. ”Shhh. You’re okay. Just breathe.”
“I fucked up, Sable. I was spiraling and I fucked up,” I say tearfully. She pulls back and cups my face.
“You didn’t fuck up, Raven. No one is mad at you,” she says softly.
“I’m scared,” I whimper.
“Oh, honey. It’s going to be okay. I promise,” she says lovingly.
“I don’t want to be like my mom,” I say. “I don’t want him to just be with me because of a baby. Mom and Dad did that and she was so fucking miserable that she ended up on drugs. All it took was a broken ankle and one prescription and I lost her,” I say as I cry.