Chapter 15 Extra Credit #5
The first thing I do is wash my hair. It’s the simplest thing right now.
When I get done, I grab a washcloth and soap, then proceed to try and peel my own skin off with how hard I’m scrubbing.
The vanilla and citrus scented soap overwhelms my senses, and it brings a calm over me.
When I am able to recognize my neurotic behavior with scrubbing, I take a long deep breath and set the washcloth down.
I give myself a few moments of just silence and peace.
When I feel like I am in a better headspace, I pick the washcloth back up.
This time I am able to clean my body without trying to cause an injury.
I successfully keep the thought of Keith out of my mind.
I know if I think about him, it will only lead to me getting myself off.
I want nothing more in this world right now than to have that man inside of me.
The fact that he hasn’t said he would not want to makes me want it more.
When I get out, I realize that Keith gave me a T-shirt but I don’t have underwear. These scrub pants are ridiculously uncomfortable. The thought of me having my bare ass on his sheets, does something to my brain. I wonder how he would feel if I touched myself in his bed?
I dry my hair and put the T-shirt on. It hangs just above my knees.
When I get to the room, I decide that I will throw caution into the wind and let myself act on what I’m desperately wanting.
Keith tells me that it’s normal for me to want this and it’s normal for me to act on it, so I’m going to act on it.
I take his T-shirt off before crawling into his bed and pulling the blanket up around my shoulders. It’s a little chilly in the room, but under these covers, it’s like heaven. I’m surrounded by his scent and it’s fucking erotic.
“Hey Keith,” I call out. A few seconds later, he opens the bedroom door.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“I really, really don’t wanna be alone. Will you stay with me?” I ask.
“Of course,” he says with a soft smile. “Getting sleepy?” Keith walks to the other side of the bed and I smile.
“No,” I say. When he pulls the covers back and sees that I am naked, he freezes but looks at my body with hungry eyes.
"I'm only doing what feels right, right now and I just want to forget. Can you help me forget?" I ask.
“Have you thought this through?” he asks, bringing his eyes up to meet mine.
“Damn near touched myself thinking about it,” I say and he laughs.
“There are a few things you need to know first,” he says as he grabs the inside of my thigh with one hand before pulling me closer to him. I giggle and let him sit me up. He stands between my legs and keeps his hands on my upper thighs.
“You don’t have herpes or something do you?” I ask.
“No,” he laughs. “But I am pierced and there’s a high likelihood that I could hurt you.”
“First of all, fuck yes,” I say and he laughs. “Second, I really hope you can live up to the hype that you are giving out right now.”
“I will do my best to make you comfortable but understand that no matter the circumstances, you will be uncomfortable for a second.”
“A second as in that’s all you’ll last or a second and I’ll get used to it?” I ask with a smirk.
“You’ll get used to it,” he says.
“What kind of piercing?”
“It’s a Jacob’s ladder,” he tells me.
“I think I can handle a little discomfort,” I say. “Unless you are stalling because you don’t want to? I suppose it’s possible I could’ve misread the signs.”
“Oh, I do. I just really don’t wanna hurt you. Also, as much as it might be normal to become triggered when having sex after an assault, I really don’t want to be the one to trigger you. I don’t think I want to hear you be afraid of me again.”
“It wasn’t you, Keith. You know that, right?”
“I know, it was just devastating to hear you sound so terrified,” he admits.
“Enough of the assault for a minute. Preferably longer than a minute,” I say. “Are you sure?”
“I’ll need to remind myself a few times to not fuck you completely senseless,” he says as he pulls his shirt off. I feel something feral come over me as I watch him undress. “You okay, sweetness?”
“I… fuck, you are a gorgeous man,” I say, scanning his body.
“And you, my dear, are stunning,” he says. When he let his boxers drop to the ground, my mouth falls open.
“Dear God, you weren’t kidding when you said you could probably hurt me,” I say, staring at his massive cock. He is hard and ready to take me. I truly don’t think he will fit, but I’m fucking determined to take him either way.
“I need you to be very specific on what you want me to do,” he says seriously.
“I… I need it to be overwhelming,” I say. “I don’t want to be able to think. I just need to get out of my head for a moment, and I trust you. I know that if I tell you to stop that you will, but I truly want you to fuck me senseless.”
“What are your limits?” he asks as he lays me back and leans down to softly kiss between my breasts.
“I need to be able to see,” I say. “I want you to prevent me from moving but I want you to be the one to hold me. No belts. No rope. Just you holding me down,” I say.
“Don’t force yourself to continue if you start to get triggered. I don’t care if you think that I’m seconds away from coming… if you want me to stop, open your mouth and tell me. Understand?”
“Yes. I understand,” I say and sit up slightly to kiss him. He leans into me to deepen our kiss.
“Did I hear correctly that you are on birth control?”
“Yes,” I say, and he smiles.
“Have you ever had sex without a condom?” he asks.
“No, but I’m really, really fucking hoping that this is leading to you being the one to fill me for the first time,” I say.
“I am,” he says as he kisses down my chest. “But first… remember that when you are with me, you will always be treated with respect. Even if I degrade you, or treat you like my personal little fuck toy… I will always be respectful.”
“You don’t have to be respectful,” I say with a conniving grin.
“Then in that case…. Shut the fuck up,” he says with a playful smile, and I giggle.
“You want to be my good little whore, don’t you, sweetness? Let’s see just how loud you can scream for me,” he says before pushing my thighs apart.
“Fuck!” I gasp loudly and arch my back as he spreads me wide for him and licks across my clit. He wraps his arms around my thighs, and I immediately cry out when he starts sucking on me. “Oh my God! Keith!” My moans are desperate and needy as my body shakes.
He brings me to the point of screaming, but he won’t let me come. Every time I get close, the feeling disappears at the last second. My pussy is pulsating and each time he makes my muscles clench around nothing, I whimper.
Right as my orgasm it’s about to explode out of me, he pulls away completely and I whine dramatically as he comes up to kiss me again. “Please fuck me, Keith. I will literally do anything you want.”
“You’ll do anything I want either way,” he says with a feigned, but convincing, threat in his tone. He grabs my wrists and pulls them above my head to pin me. I try to pull my arms away to test his hold and he pushes the head of his cock into me. My eyes roll back and I groan as he stretches me.
“If you fight me, I’ll go harder,” he says. This makes me smile right away and I pull against him again. This time, he slams deep into my pussy.
“Fuck,” I scream as pressure radiates from my belly.
“That’s my girl,” he praises as he draws out of me. The way he grunts immediately drags up a memory of one of the men raping me. “Look at me, Bekah. Open your eyes and look at me.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, almost in tears.
“Eyes on me, sweetness,” he says as he slowly pushes into me. “What did it?”
“The sound you made.” I moan softly when he slowly starts to fuck me. ”Fuck, that’s good. Please. Harder.”
Keith kissed me hard before surging into me.
When he bottoms out and I moan, I also start fighting him.
He let’s go of my hands before he starts to rail me harder and harder.
I push his chest, acting like I’m trying to get him off of me, but I don’t want him to go.
My moans are growing ragged, and my body is shaking as rapid-fire orgasms flood out of me.
My eyes are rolled back in my head and his moans are deliciously overwhelming, but I keep fighting him.
My weak attempts at getting him off of me lead it to him abruptly sitting up to flip me over to my belly.
He drags me up to my knees before he continues to fuck me.
I push my hips back to meet his force and it makes us moan helplessly.
I fall into rhythm with him, and the world disappears.
A feeling of pure bliss takes over and finally, my intrusive thoughts go silent.
Keith’s moans turn to a near growl and something about this feral sound throws me right off a cliff into another orgasm, dragging him with me.
He groans as he pushes deep and drains himself.
Come spills out of me and down my thighs before he brings me down to the bed.
I remain in my stupor as he cleans me up. Just as I’m about to pull myself out of it I’m shoved right back in when he starts massaging my back. A calming scent of chamomile fills the room when he applies oil to my back, ass, and thighs.
“Fuck, that almost feels better than you trying to destroy my insides,” I mumble.
“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment,” he chuckles.
“You are incredible,” I sigh. “But…”
“Oh, I don’t like the sound of that,” he says before rolling me to look at him.
“We need to discuss this giant elephant in the room that you are my professor,” I say, cupping his cheek.
“Well… I decided something while you were taking a shower,” he says.
“Oh?”