Chapter 24 Arezoo
AREZOO
The phone felt like it was burning a hole in Arezoo's purse, not because she needed to call anyone but because of the book she'd been reading on it. As she climbed the steps to Ruvon's front door, her heart was beating too fast, and her palms were sweating.
It had taken her one night to finish the book Drova had sent—a paranormal romance about wolf shifters who were possessive and protective but also tender and devoted to their mates.
The love scenes had been educational, arousing, and addictive.
She hadn't been able to put the book down until she was finished, and she wanted to start a new one right away, but she didn't have one, so the next night she'd reread it.
Arezoo had never felt as alive and as aroused as she had while reading that novel. Not even while kissing Ruvon. It was addictive, and she was suffering withdrawal symptoms.
There was only one way she could scratch the itch that book had ignited, and that was doing with Ruvon what she'd read about in the shifter romance.
The realization that she wanted those things with Ruvon, not just the sex but the intimacy, the connection, had hit her somewhere around page two hundred. And once that door had opened in her mind, there was no closing it.
She wanted him.
She was ready. Perhaps not to go all the way, but she was certainly ready for more than kissing.
The bag of takeout from the ready meals section of her mother's store had been a stroke of brilliance. Bringing dinner to the man she loved, to her fiancé, was a perfectly reasonable excuse to visit Ruvon unannounced.
No ulterior motives.
It was just a thoughtful gesture, something that any loving woman would and should do for her man.
Except her motives were anything but innocent.
Arezoo paused outside his door, smoothing down the emerald green dress she'd chosen out of more than a dozen outfits.
It was modest by most standards, hugging her curves without being obvious.
The dress had quarter sleeves with a hem just below the knee, and a conservative neckline that only hinted at cleavage.
She'd also left her hair down instead of pulling it back in a ponytail or a braid, and she'd applied makeup, including foundation and lipstick, which she rarely did.
Usually, eyeliner and mascara were enough.
Tonight, though, she wanted to look pretty. She wanted to look sexy.
Taking a deep breath, Arezoo rang the doorbell.
Footsteps approached, and then the door swung open to reveal Ruvon in a pair of jeans and a fitted black button-down shirt that showcased his lean, muscular build. His hair was slightly damp, like he'd recently showered, and the scent of his soap was clean and masculine and somehow intoxicating.
"Arezoo?" Surprise lit his eyes. "I wasn't expecting you."
"I know." She held up the bag. "I thought it would be nice for us to eat dinner together. It's leftovers from the Pearl that I thought would be a shame to throw away."
The lie had been rehearsed, and it had come easily.
She'd asked Parisa to make a few of the dishes that Ruvon loved, mumbling something about it being their five-month anniversary.
"That's a wonderful idea." Ruvon stepped aside, his smile warm, welcoming, and appreciative. "Is that a new dress? You look beautiful."
Heat flooded Arezoo's cheeks. "Thank you, and yes, it is new."
She stepped past him into the house, hyperaware of how close they were in the doorway, how the subtle scent of him filled her senses. Her body responded with a flutter of anticipation.
Ruvon's place was tidy, a bit bare and in need of some feminine touches, but she appreciated that there was no mess. She'd only been here once, when Ruvon introduced her to his roommate, but before tonight, she'd thought it was improper for her to be spending time with him in his place.
"Let me help you with that." Ruvon took the bag from her hands, his fingers brushing against hers in a touch that sent electricity up her arm. Did he feel it too? The way her breath caught?
"I brought ghormeh sabzi," Arezoo said, following him to the small kitchen. "And tahdig. Your favorites."
"You're spoiling me." Ruvon set the containers on the counter and turned to face her. "Did I forget an anniversary? What's the occasion?"
She couldn't lie to him about it being their five-month anniversary because he could do the math in his head and realize that today didn't carry any significance. Well, other than her unexpected sexual awakening that had been triggered by a book sent to her by her unlikely Kra-ell best friend.
"Do I need an occasion to bring my fiancé dinner?"
"No, but..." He studied her face with that perceptiveness that both thrilled and unnerved her. "I mean, it's nice. I really like that you want to feed me. I'm just surprised, that's all."
Arezoo's heart rate kicked up a notch. "It makes me happy to treat you to something nice. You do it all the time for me." It was true, but it wasn't the whole truth.
"I'm moved." Ruvon's hand came up to cup her face, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone in a tender gesture.
"I thought we could spend time together. Just the two of us. Without my family around or other people interrupting." Arezoo gathered her courage. "I wanted to be alone with you for a change."
Something heated flickered in Ruvon's eyes—desire quickly banked but unmistakable. "We are alone. My roommate is not here tonight. Are you okay with being here just with me?"
She stepped closer, eliminating what little space remained between them. "More than okay."
Ruvon's other hand settled on her waist, warm through the thin fabric of her dress. "Arezoo—"
"Kiss me," she interrupted, the words tumbling out before she could second-guess them. "Now."
He didn't need to be asked twice.
His lips met hers with the gentleness she'd come to expect from him, connecting them in an intimacy that was beyond physical.
When Ruvon's tongue swept across her lower lip, Arezoo melted into him with a soft sound of pleasure. Her hands came up to grip his shoulders, feeling the solid muscle beneath the thin fabric of his shirt.
The kiss deepened, growing more heated. Ruvon's hand slid from her waist to the small of her back, pulling her flush against him. She could feel the hard planes of his body, the way his heart hammered in rhythm with her own.
She'd always loved his kisses, but now that her body had been primed with desire, it felt like fire was coursing through her veins, every nerve ending awakened.
When they finally broke apart, Ruvon's eyes were glowing with that inner light that indicated he was just as aroused as she was.
"Wow," Arezoo whispered, brushing her fingers over her tender lips. "That was, just…wow."
"Yeah." Ruvon's voice was rough. "Wow."
They stood there for a moment, foreheads touching, just breathing together.
"Dinner is getting cold," Ruvon said eventually, though he made no move to step away.
"I don't care about the food."
That got his attention. His eyes searched hers. "You are different tonight."
She took a deep breath. This was it. Time to be brave.
"I've been thinking," she started. "About us. About our relationship and where it's going."
Ruvon's expression turned cautious. "Okay."
"And I realized something." Arezoo's hands slid from his shoulders to rest on his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath her palms. "We are engaged now. There is no reason for me to be holding back."
He looked into her eyes, but instead of the burning desire she'd expected to see, she saw worry on his handsome face.
"I thought that you wanted us to get married first."
"I did." She averted her gaze. "But not because of tradition or what my mother wanted. It was because I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
"You know." She felt her face flush with heat.
"My body remembers things my mind manages to suppress.
It hadn't been touched with tenderness or even desire.
It was touched with cruelty and hate." She swallowed hard.
"That Doomer defined what intimacy meant for me, but I will no longer allow that experience to taint what you and I have together. "
Pain flashed through Ruvon's eyes. "Arezoo—"
"Let me finish." She needed to get this out.
"I didn't know how to get over that bad experience.
In fact, I was afraid that I would never feel real passion for a male.
But I've read something recently that exposed me to what was possible in a loving, caring relationship, and I want that with you.
I don't want to let that monster steal anything else from me. I don't want to give him that power."
Ruvon's hands came up to frame her face, his touch infinitely gentle. "There is no rush, Arezoo. I told you I'd wait as long as you need, and if you want us to be married first, I'll wait until you are ready to stand in front of the Clan Mother and receive her blessing."
"I know. And that's a big part of why I love you. You're so patient with me, so understanding." Arezoo leaned into his touch. "But I'm tired of waiting. I want..." The words stuck in her throat.
"What do you want?" Ruvon's voice was low, intimate.
"You," she said. "I want more of you."
She was such a coward, afraid to put her needs into words and hoping Ruvon would understand what she meant.
Ruvon went very still. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Arezoo froze.
She wasn't ready for all of it, and Ruvon seemed to think that was what she had asked for. How was she going to explain that she wanted to explore? To slowly learn what gave her pleasure from a male she trusted with her life?
"I want to make love with you." The words came out in a rush, her cheeks flaming. "Soon, but there is still so much I need to learn, so much you can teach me." Her face was on fire. "I hope I'm not being too forward."
Ruvon kissed her again, cutting off her nervous rambling. This kiss was different from the others—deeper, more possessive, full of barely restrained hunger.
When he pulled back, his eyes were glowing brighter.
"Never hesitate to tell me what you want." His voice was rough with desire. "Arezoo, I've wanted you since the moment I met you, and I'm honored by the trust you have in me. Think of me as your servant. I will do whatever pleases you and stop as soon as you signal that you're uncomfortable."
Tears misted Arezoo's eyes.
He was so good to her, so understanding. The Fates couldn't have chosen a better partner for her.
"I love you," she murmured.
Ruvon studied her face for a long moment, and whatever he saw there must have convinced him because he nodded.
"Let's eat first, though, okay? It will give you time to rethink your proposal."
Arezoo almost started arguing, but then she realized he was right.
The nervous energy coursing through her system needed somewhere to go, and eating would help settle her nerves.
Besides, sharing a meal, just the two of them together, was not only romantic but also a great way to reset the evening and naturally get to what she was here for.
It had taken a lot of courage to do what she'd done, but now that she'd said what she came here to say, she wasn't sure she had the courage to act upon her words.
"Okay," she agreed.
As they sat at the dining table, Ruvon served the food while Arezoo tried to calm her nerves. Her hands were sweaty but surprisingly steady as she spooned rice onto her plate. As they ate and talked about nothing of consequence, some of her nervousness began to fade.
This was Ruvon—her best friend, her fiancé, the man she loved. There was nothing to be afraid of except for the darkness of the past casting shadows on the beauty and light of their relationship.
"You've barely eaten anything," Ruvon said after a while.
"I'm too nervous to eat much." Arezoo set down her fork. "My stomach is full of butterflies."
"You set the pace, Arezoo." Ruvon reached across the table to take her hand. "You do only what you are comfortable with. I have infinite patience when it comes to you."
Tears stung her eyes, and she squeezed his fingers. "You are truly one of a kind. I'm so lucky to have you."
He smiled at that. "And I'm lucky to have you. I'm honored that you chose me."
She hoped he hadn't said that because he thought that he was unworthy.
Some people in the village were not fond of the former Doomers, which was understandable but unfair.
These men were nothing like the ones who still belonged to the Brotherhood.
Thanks to Kalugal, they'd shed the brainwashing and had chosen their own path.
"It's so strange," she said. "I want you, and I think I'm ready, but then I get anxious. Is that normal?"
"Very normal." His thumb traced circles on her palm. "For what it's worth, I'm nervous too."
"You are?" That surprised her. "But you're experienced. You've done this before."
He hadn't been traumatized by what had been done to him, not sexually anyway, but he had been traumatized by the brutality of the Brotherhood.
"I've never done it with the woman I love." Ruvon's voice was gentle, soothing, but his expression was intense. "I want it to be perfect for you. I want to make you feel safe and cherished. I just want it to be right."
The tenderness in his voice made Arezoo's chest tight with emotion. "It will be. Because it's you."
"I love you," she said when they stood next to the sink to wash the dishes.
"I love you too." Ruvon put down the drying towel, turned to her, and cupped her face, his touch infinitely gentle.
When he kissed her again and she melted against him, Arezoo realized something profound. This was about choosing love over fear and about reclaiming her body as her own and sharing it with someone worthy of the gift.