Chapter 25 Ruvon
RUVON
The moment Arezoo's lips met Ruvon's, he felt the last threads of his carefully maintained control begin to fray.
For months, he'd kept himself in check, restraining the desire that had been his constant companion since the day he'd met her.
Every touch was carefully measured, every kiss deliberately chaste, always conscious of her trauma and her need for safety.
But right now, with her pressed against him, her hands sliding up his chest with growing boldness, it took every ounce of his willpower not to lose himself completely.
"Arezoo," he murmured against her mouth, trying to hold on to reason even as desire threatened to sweep it away.
"Kiss me more," she whispered, lifting her hands to cup the back of his head and undulating against him.
Fates, this was torture.
Ruvon deepened the kiss, but he kept his hands on her waist, feeling the heat emanating from her skin through the thin fabric of her dress. She tasted like honey, and radiated determination, and the small sound she made when his tongue swept against hers nearly undid him.
His fangs descended partially, responding to his arousal, and he had to be careful not to let them extend fully. She wasn't ready to see them, or at least he didn't believe she was. But the urge to take her and bite her, to induce her transition right here and now, was nearly overwhelming.
It wasn't just about his need for her. Above all, he needed to make her immortal and safe.
But this wasn't about his needs. This was about Arezoo and what she needed.
He walked her backward slowly until her legs hit the edge of the couch. When she sat down, looking up at him with those big chocolate-colored eyes, Ruvon had to close his own for a moment and fight for control.
"You're so beautiful," he said, his voice rougher than he intended. "So perfect."
Arezoo's cheeks flushed pink. "I'm nervous."
Ruvon knelt in front of her, bringing them to eye level. "I'm nervous too."
"You hide it well." Her hands came up to cup his face, and he leaned into her touch like a cat seeking affection. "You always seem so in control."
If only she knew how tenuous that control was. How every cell in his body was screaming at him to take what she was offering.
"I'm in control because I must be," he admitted. "You deserve someone who can be gentle with you. Patient."
"What if I don't want you to be so very patient?" There was a challenge in her voice, a boldness that she only occasionally displayed.
Ruvon smiled despite the throbbing need that had taken up residence in his body. "Too bad. You're getting me patient whether you want me that way or not."
He kissed her again, slower this time, savoring the taste of her. His hands remained on her waist, keeping them anchored there even though they itched to roam, to explore, to map every curve and hollow of her body.
When Arezoo started working on the buttons of his shirt, he stopped her, earning himself a glare.
"Not here," he said. "My roommate is not home, but he might get back anytime now, and I don't want him to catch us.
She laughed nervously. "You're saying that as if we are a couple of thieves, stealing something forbidden.
We are both adults, Ruvon. We are not doing anything wrong.
" She shook her head. "Not here, anyway.
Back home, that's a different story. My father would have killed me for this, and I don't mean figuratively. "
Ruvon shivered. He knew that was the reality for women in some parts of the world, but he'd left all that barbarism and cruelty behind when he'd fled with Kalugal.
He didn't want reminders of his former life, but this was Arezoo, so he would listen.
"You are safe here, and no one is going to judge you, but I still want privacy for us. Would you be comfortable in my bedroom?"
Her eyes widened, and there was fear in them that could slay him, but it lasted only for a split second before it was replaced by determination. "I'm comfortable anywhere with you."
She stood up, and when he also pushed to his feet, she took his hand. "Lead the way." When he hesitated, she smiled. "Is your room messy?"
He shook his head. "I was a soldier for so long that I'm physically incapable of leaving my bed unmade."
Arezoo laughed. "And you said that the Brotherhood was all bad."
He flinched. "It was, and I'd rather not talk about it while I'm taking you to my bedroom."
Some topics were too painful to revisit, especially at times like this.
She smiled apologetically. “Okay."
When they walked into his bedroom and he closed the door behind them, Arezoo immediately went back to unbuttoning his shirt. He helped her, shrugging out of the garment and tossing it aside.
There was heat in her eyes when she looked at his bare chest. Then her hands were on his skin, and he couldn't suppress the groan that escaped him.
"Is this okay?" she asked, uncertainty creeping into her voice.
"It's perfect." He caught her hands, bringing them to his lips to kiss her fingertips.
It would be so hard to resist her innocent advances, but he knew the difference between what she thought she should want and what she actually wanted. He didn't want her to regret anything later.
She cast a glance at the bed, and he saw the trepidation in her eyes. "Let's sit on the couch." He led her to the seating area of his bedroom. "The bed is for after we are married, and it should be a brand new one. I want our first time to be on a virgin mattress."
Her cheeks flaming, Arezoo averted his gaze. "How do you always know?" she whispered.
"Because I pay attention." Ruvon kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her lips—soft, chaste kisses that were somehow more intimate than anything more heated.
"Because I love you, and part of loving someone is protecting them and knowing what's best for them.
You want to wait until we are married, right? "
She nodded. "I do, but I also want to be progressive and daring. I want to prove to myself that I'm not letting what happened control me. If I do, the monsters win, and I can't let them."
Ruvon pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "You are absolutely right, but that doesn't mean you have to do it all at once. Baby steps, Arezoo."
She buried her face in his chest, and he felt the warmth of her breath against his skin. The intimacy of the moment was more meaningful than physical touch. The fact that Arezoo was capable of it was proof that the monsters hadn't won.
"I want to do more than kissing," she murmured. "I want to touch you, and I want you to touch me."
"We can do that. If you wish, we can also get more inventive with the kissing."
She tilted her head and looked at him from under lowered lashes. "How?"
"Like this." He guided her to lie on the couch, following her down until he was braced above her, careful to keep his weight off her. "Promise me that if anything doesn't feel right, you'll tell me. Don't swallow your fears because you want to prove to yourself that you are brave or to please me."
Given the flash of guilt on her face, that's precisely what she'd planned to do.
"I promise."
He kissed her again, this time loosening his restraint by a notch.
His tongue swept into her mouth, tasting her, exploring her.
She moaned against his lips, the sound shooting straight through him like lightning, and then she lifted her pelvis, grinding her mound against his aching shaft, and he nearly came in his jeans.
He slid his hand from her waist up along her ribs, stopping just below the curve of her breast. Even through the fabric of her dress, he could feel her heart hammering.
"Still okay?" he murmured against her mouth.
"Yes." The word was breathless. "Please. More."
There was no ambiguity in her words or the tone of her voice.
Ruvon let his hand move higher, gently cupping her breast. Arezoo arched into his touch with a gasp that made his already painful arousal intensify to the point of agony.
He'd been celibate throughout their time together, which was an eternity for an immortal male.
His body was screaming at him to take what she was offering, to claim and possess and finally find relief from the agony of wanting her.
But he kept his touch gentle, exploratory, paying attention to every hitch in her breathing, every small sound she made. Learning what she liked, what made her respond, what made her flinch.
"Why are you holding back?" Arezoo asked. "I promised to tell you if I want you to stop."
"I don't have a choice." Ruvon pressed his forehead against hers, trying to regulate his breathing. "If I wasn't holding back, I'd have you naked and under me so fast that you wouldn't have time to tell me to stop."
Her breath hitched. "Maybe that's what we should do? Just let nature do her thing?"
"We've talked about that. You're not ready." He kissed the corner of her mouth and then shifted his weight, moving to lie on his side beside her instead of above her. "Are you disappointed?"
He was well aware that he was pushing boundaries by making the decisions for her, and at some point, she might realize that and tell him to stop, or worse, accuse him of being a possessive, controlling prick.
But she was just nineteen, and she'd been raised sheltered and secluded from anything and everything that had to do with sex.
And then she'd been kidnapped and abused.
He'd rather be called names than be weak and let her do things she would later regret.
She turned on her side to face him, reaching with her fingers to trace patterns on his bare chest. "I'm not disappointed. I'm relieved and grateful."
Ruvon would take grateful, but relieved? He caught her hand, stilling its movements before she drove him completely insane. "What do you mean?"
"I wanted to be brave tonight." Arezoo's eyes met his. "But honestly? I'm still terrified. Not of you," she added quickly. "But of being reminded of when I was vulnerable in that way."
"There's nothing wrong with being scared." Ruvon brought her hand to his lips, kissing her palm. "Fear doesn't make you weak. It makes you human."
"I don't want to be human much longer," she said quietly. "I want to transition. I want to be immortal."
"There's no rush. We've waited so long, we can wait a little longer."
Arezoo's expression turned serious. "What if something happens to me? What if someone attacks me? As an immortal, I'd be so much harder to hurt. Harder to kill."
The reminder of her human vulnerability sent a spike of protective fury through Ruvon. One bad encounter with the wrong person and he could lose her forever.
He wondered if she'd rehearsed those words, used them as an excuse to give herself courage to approach him. The problem was that they had the opposite effect than what Arezoo had intended.
Ruvon's arousal was gone, and anger coursed through him, not at her, never at her, but at anyone who had ever hurt her and would ever dare.
"From a practical standpoint, the sooner you transition, the safer you'll be," he admitted. "I would have suggested getting married as soon as possible, but a ceremony would not abolish your underlying fear. The only way to combat it is to get exposed to small doses of intimacy one day at a time."
He sat up and reached for his discarded shirt. Putting it back on helped restore some sense of normalcy, some distance from the heated moment.
"We will progress slowly until you're ready. Really ready. Not when you think you should be ready or when you're trying to prove something."
"Doesn't it bother you?" she asked.
Bother him? It was killing him.
But he'd rather suffer through a thousand years of celibacy than rush her.
"Of course, it bothers me," he said honestly. "I'm not going to lie—it's difficult, but that's my problem to deal with, not yours."
"It doesn't seem fair to you."
"Love isn't about fair." Ruvon cupped Arezoo's face, making sure she was looking at him. "It's about doing what's best for the person you love, even when it's hard."
When they returned to the living room, Ruvon poured them each a glass of water, downing his in one long gulp. His body was still thrumming with unfulfilled desire, and it would take a while for that to settle. Maybe a cold shower later. Or ten.
Arezoo sat on the couch, tucking her legs under her. She looked beautiful and disheveled, her hair mussed from his touch, her lips slightly swollen from their kisses. The sight made him want to pull her back into his arms, but he resisted.
"So, now what?" she asked.
"Now?" Ruvon sat beside her. "Now we set a date for our wedding."
Her eyes widened. "Really? You said that it wouldn't solve my underlying fear."
"It won't, but it's another step in the right direction. The sooner we're married, the sooner we can move forward with everything else."
"I need to talk to my mother." Arezoo bit her lip. "She's going to want a big wedding that takes time to plan."
"How much time?"
"At least three months. Probably more like six if she wants to do it properly."
Ruvon groaned. "Six months?"
"Maybe less." Arezoo reached for his hand. "Amanda is great at organizing parties in the village square. Would you like to get married there? It's not fancy, but all of our friends are here."
"It's perfect, and I bet Amanda can organize it in three weeks instead of three months. The Clan Mother can marry us. She presides over all the ceremonies."
Arezoo sucked in a breath. "Do you think she would? I mean, neither of us is a clan member."
"She would. Annani loves weddings almost as much as she loves the arrival of new babies."
Arezoo chuckled. "One leads to the other."
"Not in this village. Babies are welcome with or without a wedding ceremony."
Arezoo rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her. The desire that had been raging through him earlier had settled into a low, manageable ache.
"I'll talk to my mother tomorrow," Arezoo said. "About the wedding date. I suggest that you stay away from the Pearl for a day or two."
"I'm not afraid of your mother. Besides, she has my phone number and doesn't hesitate to call me whenever she needs help moving something heavy in the store. I'm sure she will call to yell at me."
Arezoo chuckled. "You can mute the phone, but you can't mute her in person."
"You are wise, my Arezoo. But I will not abandon you to face the dragon on your own." He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. "We fight together."
"She'll think that I'm pregnant."
Ruvon swallowed. "On second thought, I'm going to stay away until you tell me it's safe."