Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Iris
On a cozy leather couch in a picturesque cabin with a fancy fireplace and thick overhead beams that look nothing like the cabin I grew up in, I sip orange chamomile tea from a World’s Best Mom mug, curled up with a throw blanket as my world continues to crumble.
It’s been two full days of radio silence.
Not a word from Sunshine or Dark.
Kat, the sweetest woman and mom of four, taps the book on the end table next to me as she passes by, then takes a seat in an oversized chair.
“Have you tried it yet?” she asks, referring to the alien smut she’s been plying me with to keep my mind off reality.
She may not admit it, but that’s what she’s doing.
That’s also why we’re here. Not home. Home is where reality sets in.
Home is where I walk into my new house alone, without him.
I never made my bed before we left. I didn’t have time.
His butt print is probably still there where he sat watching me dress.
Or his scent.
I bet my blankets still smell of him.
Shaking my head at the book, I set my mug next to it and check my phone for the millionth time today. Sola told Dee what happened when they returned. Ever the supportive sister, she’s been texting me the only way Dee knows how.
Dee: You sleep?
Me: Yes.
I could go into detail about how Kali and I share a children’s bedroom, since Kat and Ryker sent their kids to spend time with their grandpa, grandma?
I dunno. Someone. All I know is they’re not here, and I’m sleeping in a twin bed belonging to one of their daughters.
But Dee wouldn’t care. Did I sleep? Yes. That’s all she needs to know.
On the couch beside me, dressed in shorts and a green T-shirt, Kali speaks up. “Is that your sister or Cell?” she asks, nodding to the phone in my hand.
“Dee.”
“How is she?”
“I don’t really know. She doesn’t say much. But I’d say she’s probably doing much better than we are.”
“True.”
“What about you?” I nod to her phone.
“It’s Fog.”
Ah. Their son.
“Is he okay?”
“Yeah. He and his father had… have…” Kali clears her throat and dashes the tears from under her eyes. “Sorry. They have always had a rough relationship. But he’s not taking this well. Neither of my boys are. I guess they’re making plans to come home.”
“Home. Home. Or here?”
“I don’t know yet. Probably here?” She shrugs. “His boyfriend’s a member of this chapter.”
“Lace.”
“Yeah. Lace. Dark told you?”
“Yes.” I chuckle at the memory. “He wasn’t… isn’t fond of his son dating a man so much older.”
Gripping her crystal necklace as it grounds her, Kali releases a watery chuckle. “That sounds like him.”
I smirk. Yeah. It does.
It’s strange, sitting with her, wanting to ask how she’s doing, when I already know the answer.
She cries herself to sleep. We both do. Dark was her husband, and Sunshine is now.
It’s a complicated dynamic, but it seems to work for them.
If anything, I feel like this random woman who doesn’t belong here.
Not that Kali or Kat have ever made it seem that way.
They’ve been nothing but kind. It’s just me.
I know I’ve said it before that I don’t have friends, and this isn’t the time to dwell on that, but it’s more apparent now than ever that I’m alone.
Without Dark, somehow getting it, getting me, getting us, I’m on my own.
Maybe not fully, but inside, it’s true. There’s a hollowness there. The gap is ever widening.
People mill about throughout the day, coming in and out of the cabin.
Ryker and his brother, Kade, introduce themselves.
Bear and Ghost show up. The small cabin gets tighter, making it harder to breathe as more well-meaning men in leather continue to roll in on loud motorcycles that they park out back.
Lace eventually shows up and hugs Kali, and offers me a tight-lipped smile.
But I don’t move from my solace on the couch.
My little slice of soft support that keeps me from completely losing it.
Sure, I use the restroom and force whatever food they give me down, but I sit in silence, focusing on the beat of my heart as it breaks.
Crack by crack.
Nobody knows where the men are.
Nobody has seen or heard from Dark or Sunshine in days.
They’ve disappeared.
Poof.
I need to get home. To face the music. To figure life out by myself.