Chapter 46
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Iris
It’s been seven days. Seven days of sleeping in a twin bed, surrounded by stuffed animals.
Seven days of men on phones trying to find them.
Seven days of soul-sucking exhaustion. Kali stopped talking days ago, and I’m right there with her.
Walking corpses. Every now and then, we exchange knowing looks and hugs, silently bonding through our trauma.
But I’m done. Done waiting to get back to my life.
Back to my bed. What am I waiting for? A miracle?
I’m old enough to know that’s just a fantasy from Disney movies I wasn’t even allowed to watch as a child.
Kat slides a piece of pie across the kitchen counter to me. It’s pecan, doused in whipped cream. My stomach grumbles with hunger, but I can’t eat. I don’t want to.
“Come on. You only had toast yesterday.” Pulling her long blonde hair into a ponytail, Kat nods toward the plate, trying to tempt me.
She’s sweet and beyond patient. It is a small slice.
Only a few bites. But I can’t do it. I don’t even care.
Food means nothing right now. I’m just tired.
I want to sleep. The tears have dried up.
I’m numb, everywhere. More than anything, I want to be alone so I can suffer by myself, without the pitying looks and the constant check-ins that force me to smile so they feel better, even when I sure as hell don’t.
I don’t even want to text Dee, whose concern has grown out of control. So much so, she texts at least five times a day. That’s a lot for her. Far too much.
Tarek, Kali’s and Dark’s oldest son, who might as well be a younger, copy-and-paste version of his father, joins us, glances at my slice of pie, claims the fork Kat set beside my plate, and eats my treat in one giant mouthful.
Kat’s jaw just about comes unhinged as she glares at him and his audacity. Not to mention his cocky grin that he flashes her, then me, with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.
On the inside, it makes me grin, even if my lips don’t work.
Tarek eyes me, swallows, and sets the fork on top of the plate. “Now you don’t need to feel guilty.” He winks in a way that confuses my insides, because it feels like a move from Dark, even if it’s coming from his kid. When he’s done, Tarek claims the plate, sets it in the sink, and rinses it.
Kat shakes her head and pats me on the shoulder as she goes about her business elsewhere, leaving Tarek and me alone. Not that we’re ever truly alone in this cabin. There’s no place to hide.
“How are you?” he asks, leaning his hip against the counter.
I shrug.
Tarek snorts. “That shitty, huh?”
Pretty much.
Lips pressed into a thin line, I nod.
“You wanna get the fuck outta this place for a few hours? Maybe go for a ride?”
With him? On the back of a motorcycle? Nope. The only person I wanna ride with is his dad, who’s…
My gut twists and tears make another appearance.
Ugh. So much for no more crying.
Reading my emotions loud and clear, Tarek flicks his chin toward the back door. “Okay. No ride. How about a walk to get some fresh air?”
Fine.
Sighing in defeat, I dip my head in agreement, then head to the bedroom I’m using to find the slip-on sandals I was given.
I don’t bother with makeup or my wig. Everyone has seen me without them for days now.
They don’t care. Nobody stares or gives a shit.
The only person who commented on my baldness was Ryker, who fist-bumped me for having matching hairdos.
Dressed in cotton shorts and an oversized T-shirt with a Harley on the front, I find Tarek out back.
The cabin’s nestled in the woods, so we don’t have to go far to find a path through the trees.
The Texas heat sucks, but the fresh air soothes my lungs as we follow the narrow dirt path that reminds me of childhood and of Dee’s and my many adventures.
Is it strange to admit I miss her opossums?
I’m sure they’re thriving in Kings Cursed. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
Tarek leads, and I follow. When we come across a fallen branch in our path, he picks it up and throws it into the woods.
Even from behind, he looks a lot like his father.
Broad shoulders, tapered waist, jeans that hug all the right places.
Not that I’m checking him out, but the resemblance is uncanny.
He’s not wearing his cut. Not that he should on a nature walk.
At some point, we come upon a small, open meadow that’s more weeds and wildflowers than grass. A bird flits through the afternoon sky. I close my eyes, tilt my head back, and soak up the rays on my face.
“I know everyone probably keeps askin’ you, but how are you holdin’ up?” Tarek asks, breaking the quiet peacefulness.
“I’m okay. I guess. What choice do I have? How are you?”
“I’m alright.”
“Come on. You can do better than that,” I press, only because everyone’s been so concerned about Kali and me.
Beyond their mother caring about them, Dark’s sons haven’t gotten the same treatment as us.
They are their dad and grandfather. This can’t be easy on either of them. Not that I’ve seen Fog all that much.
“I’ve only been here three days, and I’m already tired of sittin’ around.
” Tarek kicks the dirt with the toe of his leather motorcycle boot.
“When Pops is ready to reach out, he will. We need to trust him on that. He isn’t like Dad.
He doesn’t just disappear for months on end with no fucking word.
If he’s quiet, then we need to respect his decision. ”
“Have you told your mom this?”
“Yeah. She already knows.”
“And?”
“She’s not thinkin’ straight.”
“What do you think we should do?” I ask, since he’s more levelheaded than the rest of us right now.
“Let Fog and me take you and Mom home. There’s no reason for us to stay in Texas, beyond my brother gettin’ his dick wet. Which he’s had days to do. So, we might as well get back to it. Mom needs to work before she goes crazy. You… Well, I dunno what you do, but whatever that is, do that.”
“I don’t do anything. But I would still like to go home.” To my house, my bed, and that ugly couch I bought with Dark.
Tarek nods as if he gets it. Pulling his cell phone from his back pocket, he fires off a series of texts before he shoves his phone back into his jeans. “We’ll leave tonight,” he vows just as he waves for us to continue our walk.
I wanna ask about leaving, and how he’s gonna do that, given he’s not technically in charge here, and from what I understand, we’re under Bear’s rules, guidance… whatever the technical term is for a motorcycle club.
By the time we return to the cabin, I’m out of breath, and my shirt’s soaked with sweat from all the humidity.
I wipe the back of my hand over my eyes.
They sting from the salt dripping into them because I have no hair on my head or lashes to help.
Fun times. Not that Tarek has fared much better.
He took his shirt off long ago and tucked it into his waistband.
His ink-covered body is equally soaked in sweat.
Side by side, we walk up the gravel drive to the back of the cabin. Ryker and his dark-haired brother, Kade, are outside with Ghost when we approach.
Tarek clasps Ryker on the shoulder and squeezes. “We’re leavin’ tonight.”
As I suspected, this starts a fight, and I have no energy left to deal with the fallout.
Ignoring the bravado brigade, I slip into the icy house and sigh as the cold air bathes me in its love.
I find Kali reading on the couch and drop into my usual spot opposite her.
She looks up, flashes me a weak smile, and tucks back into whatever book our librarian, Kat, gifted her. Probably smut.
A bottle of water and a granola bar appear on the end table beside me.
Though it’s not Kat who sets them there, it’s Fog, the quiet, introspective, vibrating-with-anger son.
I nod my thanks, and because I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t need it, I choke the water and bar down.
It sits like lead in my gut, but he watches me eat from his post against the wall, standing sentry.
Not in a creepy way, more like Dee. He reminds me of her.
Intense but loving in his own way. To anyone else, he might seem scary, but to me, he’s not.
All I wanna do is hug him. I dunno why. Not that I plan to act on it. But the need’s there.
“I hear we’re leaving tonight,” Kali whispers under her breath as she continues to read.
I swallow the last bit of my water and set the empty plastic on the end table. “I guess so.”
“Good.”
Good is… good. Right? At least we’re on the same page about getting out of here.
Closing my eyes, I drop my head back against the soft cushion of the couch and sigh as I let my stress go.
The leather creaks as Kali shifts beside me.
There’s a featherlight touch on the top of my knee.
It’s gone a moment later, but something’s left there in its wake.
I roll the tips of my fingers across it. Another crystal. Small, pebble-shaped.
“Fuchsite, for emotional healing,” Kali whispers as I hear the distinct sound of her turning a page in her book.
Healing.
I could use a lot of that.
“Thank you,” I whisper and continue to play with the crystal. I’ve kept every one Kali has given me over the short time we’ve known each other. They’re a small reminder that friendship and love come in all shapes and sizes.
Kali’s a friend, a true one, and once we get home, I don’t see that changing anytime soon. We have a long road ahead of us, but something tells me we’ll work through it together.