Chapter Nine
ZANDER
Ihead home after classes feeling pretty good. The last few nights with Leona have been fucking unbelievable. There is literally no other woman I can say this about; “the last few nights,” plural. Even a few days ago I would have said I didn’t understand why I kept going back to her, but now I do.
I crave her.
It’s fucking pathetic, honestly. A week ago, I would’ve laughed at any guy acting like this over a girl. Now I can’t stop thinking about her. About her body. Her mouth. The sounds she makes for me.
We understand each other in a way I never thought possible.
We are the same. Twisted in the same ways.
And now that we have admitted what we share, all the doors that have been closed to me have opened.
I never thought I’d give a shit about anyone like this, but Leona is different.
I was the one to release her. Or has she released me?
I don’t really care. I am so surprised and buzzing with our ‘whatever-it-is’ that I don’t want to jinx it with a definition.
Only one thing I’m damn sure about, I’m going to use her for a while.
I push Leona out of my mind for now, as I head up the stairs to the upstairs lounge, where I know the others will be gathered. It’s Wednesday night and that is the night the boys and I catch up on Valens matters and there are drinks for anyone from the House who wants them.
I enter the main lounge and see that Shawn is already there as are Lucien and Damien. A few other older members are scattered around, but the first thing I notice is that everyone seems stiff and the air is thick with apprehension. Something has happened.
I spot Liam, my forgetful new initiate. It’s been a couple of weeks since that day and he should be almost healed. I have spoken to him since then, of course, and said he didn’t want to go to the infirmary — I had to give him some grudging respect for that.
However, now I see that there are fresh bruises on his face and one eye is starting to close. He is also holding his arm at a tense angle that tells me it is hurting him. He has a small group of younger, new members standing around him and they go silent when I come in.
“What’s happened?” I snap to no one in particular.
Lucien stands up, his face clouded. “The Hawks caught Liam on the way back from class, Zan, and set on him. Matthew and a couple of his guys said that it was payback for changing his mind about pledging to The Hawks and then coming to us instead,” he adds.
“I— I am— I didn’t—“ Liam starts, but I cut him off with a look.
“Is this true?” I ask him after a second of silence has passed.
He nods miserably.
“So, now we pay a visit to Hawk House and show them what happens when they mess with us then,” I say. I could kiss Liam. He’s just given me the perfect reason to go beat the crap out of someone. The anticipation hits me hard.
“Let’s get going,” I say. “Liam, you stay here. I’m not sure you could take a third beating in as many weeks,” I say with something approaching a smile.
We all pile into Shawn’s car, and he drives over to Hawk House. After we pull up, Damien goes to speak to one of Matthew’s minions, who is manning the doors. It is almost as if they are expecting us. Well, I guess they are.
Damien turns back towards us and gives us a thumbs-up sign.
We walk to the lawn and stop. We could trash the outside of the place; beat up the minions and then storm the house, but I prefer to take things straight to the top.
We don’t have long to wait before Matthew and three members of his inner circle come out of the house and join us on the lawn.
Matthew starts the trash talk straight away, but he doesn’t get far.
“Fuck this shit,” Damien says. He walks forward and punches Matthew and that ends the chat and starts the fight.
I face off with a guy I vaguely recognize.
He’s about my height, but more heavily built.
I can take him, though. I swing for him and land a good solid punch on his jaw.
He stumbles, but he doesn’t go down. He swings back at me but I duck.
Then suddenly he swings with his left hand and takes me by surprise.
His fist connects with my eye socket, and I feel a dull pain there.
I will have a black eye tomorrow, no doubt.
The fact that I let him take me by surprise angers me and I swing my fists again, this time not stopping when I connect.
I keep punching with both of my fists, pummeling the guy’s face.
Blood sprays — I think from his lips — but it could also be from the cut on his forehead or his broken nose.
I don’t care which. I swing again and he goes down and doesn’t get up.
I take a few steps back. Thrashing this guy has let the last of my anger out and I’m thinking fully rationally again.
I decide not to kick this guy while he’s down.
He does deserve a boot to the stomach, though, so I pull my foot back and slam it into him.
I watch as he curls up in the fetal position, his arms wrapped around his midriff.
His mouth hangs open as he tries to breathe, but he’s not getting any air and his eyes just get wider.
After a long moment, he pulls in a big breath and releases his hold on himself.
He gets up and I tense up, ready to put him back down again, but he holds his hands up in a gesture that tells me he’s done.
I nod to him. He nods back and then he backs up across the lawn.
It’s only then that I glance across at the others and see that the fight is done.
Matthew has backed off and his other two guys are bloody. One is down and showing no signs of getting back up. Shawn and Lucien don’t even look as if they’ve been in a fight and Damien is as cool as if he’s been for a stroll. God knows how he has put the other guy down, without taking a single hit.
“This isn’t over,” Matthew says when he is close enough to Hawk House to be brave. “Mark my words, you will regret this.”
In my mind, the satisfying image of my fist connecting with his head flashes. Over and over and over again. Until his face is obscured. I smile.
“You will be the one who regrets it,” I say. “Yes. And I will be the one who enjoys it. Just how I enjoyed your French girlfriend a few months back.”
“You fucking liar,” he hisses, but he doesn’t come back.
Although I do take Matthew at his word. We won this time and we won’t regret it, but that doesn’t mean it’s over.
Matthew will go off and lick his wounds and — one evening — he and his boys will try something else on us.
It’s the way; it’s always been the way, and it’s probably the way it will always be.
Is it wrong that knowing Matthew and The Hawks are around keeps me on my toes?
No, it’s simpler than that. I know fighting is always on the cards and that helps me to keep my need to smash bones and break open skin under control.
We head back to Valens House and wash away any residual pain with a few beers.
“Anyone got any plans for tonight?” Lucien asks.
“I’m going out with Lara? Laura? Someone,” Damien says.
“Her name is Kate,” Shawn says with a laugh.
“Ah, close enough,” Damien says.
“Me, I’m going to watch the game,” Lucien says.
“Me too,” Shawn says. “You fancy it, Zan?”
I shake my head. The adrenaline is still pumping through my veins after the fight, and I know if I try to sit and watch the game, I’ll only be restless.
“I might see what Leona’s up to,” I say slowly, a rare admission of plans.
“You like her, don’t you?” Shawn asks.
He’s not teasing, he’s asking a genuine question. My thoughts go back to what I was thinking about as I came back to the house this afternoon. It’s not something I want to share even with my closest friends. So, I shrug in answer to Shawn’s question.
“She’s kind of cool,” I say warily.
“She must be for you to keep going back for more. I’ve never known you to sleep with a girl more than once,” Shawn says.
“Fuck. Do you think I’m growing up?” I laugh.
The others all laugh uproariously at this.
“As if!” Lucien says.
The tension finally breaks and the others fall into the usual stupid teasing and jokes. I get my phone out and I see Leona’s sent me a message. I smile and then I catch myself and shake my head. I think Shawn’s right. I don’t feel like myself when I’m around her. Something is changing inside me.
My smile fades to anger after I read Leona’s message.
Hey. A friend from home is in town and I’m going to watch his band play. Want to come?
I swallow hard, trying to keep my anger at bay. I should at least give her a chance to realize she is making a mistake. I text her back.
I don’t want to see a band. I don’t want to see anyone, but you. Come over. Now.
A second later, another message comes through.
I’ve already said I’ll go now. I’ll be at The Old Coffee Tavern if you change your mind.
I push my phone into my pocket in disgust. Is this a fucking joke or what? I was just thinking about how she has changed me, and she can’t even miss a damned concert for me? Fuck this. I’m getting way too caught up with this girl.
I rake a hand through my hair. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me.
It’s not like there aren’t a hundred other girls I could text right now, who would drop everything and come over here to be with me.
I debate texting one of them, but the problem is, I don’t want one of those girls. I want her.
OK, it’s true. I’m seriously pissed off that Leona has chosen this “friend and his band” over me, but there’s a part of me that’s a little bit turned on by the fact that she’s not the type to drop everything because I text her.
I kind of like the fact that she’s got her own thing going on and that she dared to say no to me.
Despite that, two hours later, I am still buzzing with adrenaline, and I am still pissed off that Leona doesn’t understand that when I say she is mine, I mean it. Finally, I can’t stand the feeling anymore and I get in the car and head towards The Old Coffee Tavern.
Let’s see what’s so fucking special about this band that they are worth blowing me off.
I park in the lot and get out of the car.
Music is pumping out of the pub through the open windows.
It doesn’t sound like a live band, though, and I suddenly realize how late it is.
The band has probably finished. However, it seems the after-party has started so I still have time to see what all of the fuss is about.
I go inside and grab a drink at the bar. Then, I scan the room. I spot Leona quickly — she stands out from the crowd in all the right ways. I also see that the guy sitting next to her has his arm along the back of the seat, almost around her.
I feel anger flare inside of me and I swallow it down. For now.