CHAPTER 13 #2
“Forget about it,” he quietly said, the usual amusement in his voice gone. He almost sounded sad now, making me feel even worse. “I should have known something like that would trigger you after what Blaze did.”
The depth of his understanding surprised me, especially since it was him. He might be an arrogant playboy, but maybe I’d been too quick to judge his character.
“I really . . . I really screwed up,” I tentatively said, still not sure how much they knew about what had happened two years ago. Erring on the side of caution, I lamely finished with, “He won’t want anything to do with me after this.”
“Oh, Bambi,” Riku softly groaned, reaching out as if to draw me into a hug. When I flinched back, he raised both hands placatingly. “Too soon, I get it. You’ll surrender to my charm eventually, though. They always do.”
I met his eyes to glare at him, and his lips twisted into a satisfied smirk.
“He’s upset, but he’ll get over it,” Oz finally spoke in a serious tone, drawing my gaze to him. “Thorne is unfailingly committed to whatever he takes on, and that includes his mentoring of you. He might be pissed right now, but that won’t stop him from honoring his word.”
He studied me for another beat, his brows deeply furrowing the longer he stared. He opened his mouth, then shut it. Opened and shut it again.
Unease trickled through me. What did he see? What did he know?
“We should head inside. It’s about to storm,” Riku said, interrupting the uncomfortable moment.
I looked to the sky, glad for the distraction, but my heart immediately sank at how fast the weather had turned.
Dark, angry clouds were swiftly rolling in, completely blotting out the sun.
More thunder rumbled in the distance, reminding me of the look in Thorne’s eyes before his expression had gone stone cold.
Anger, pain, and fear all fighting for dominance, all directed at me. He might still mentor me after this, but he’d been triggered today, too. So deeply that hatred had simmered in his eyes.
The storm about to unleash its fury on us was proof of just how badly I’d messed things up. He might train me, but he was going to make me pay for it.
And he did.
Over the next several days, I learned exactly how Thorne had earned his ruthless reputation.
Training with him was pure hell, not because he shouted in my face and called me names like a drill sergeant, but because he was coldly relentless.
I wasn’t allowed to think, wasn’t allowed to breathe.
He wanted results, and he wouldn’t stop pushing until he got them.
Problem was, I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
On top of our sessions, I was still struggling to sleep, keep up with my classes, and avoid confrontations.
Blaze hadn’t directly come at me again, but rumors about my magic mishap in Amplifying class had spread to the entire campus, leaving me more ostracized than ever.
I’d even overheard a first year say that Blaze was forming alliances with other students who felt personally victimized by me.
And then there was the gossip about me and Thorne, about him offering me protection for sexual favors.
It was all too much. Despite how badly I wanted to prove myself worthy of being here, I was failing. I knew it. The other students knew it. The professors knew it. And Thorne definitely knew it.
What I’d almost done to Riku hovered like a stormcloud over our heads every time we met for training.
Each interaction was fraught with frigid tension, and no matter what I said, Thorne’s responses remained icy.
His merciless tactics wore me to the bone, but it was the cold looks and curt words devoid of any warmth that were starting to unravel me.
He loathed me. Hated me. I’d already known this, but as the days dragged into weeks, it became harder and harder to bear. He took great care to keep space between us at all times, and if our skin accidentally touched, he zapped me hard, a clear warning to get the hell away.
I was toxic to him, and the more we interacted, the more dangerous it became for both of us.
We were going to snap again. It was only a matter of time. And with tensions this high, I worried about our pactum. Neither of us had been hurt during our training sessions yet, but if he kept pushing, pushing, pushing, I was bound to break.
After nearly a month of watching this deadly dance, Oz and Riku finally had enough.
I waited for them to arrive at the glen for our daily session, growing more and more nervous by the second when they didn’t show.
They always showed. Always. Their presence was the only thing keeping me and Thorne from completely tearing into each other. Without them here, we were doomed.
A shriek lit up the gloomy sky as Thorne’s familiar swooped overhead, seeking out prey as usual. When Thorne arrived with his usual curt nod of acknowledgement and got right down to removing his blazer and tie, the tension became too much, and I blurted, “Where are Riku and Oz?”
Without looking at me, he cryptically replied, “Not coming.”
I pursed my lips, waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, I pressed, “Why?”
He ground his teeth together, a muscle furiously ticking in his jaw. Yanking the tie free of his neck, he said, “Watching this disaster has become too painful for them.”
Disaster.
Did he mean me or us? Probably both.
Hurt and anger warred in my chest, but I didn’t let it show. Any complaint, any show of emotion, immediately earned me a cold lecture from Thorne. Weakness of any kind wasn’t tolerated, and arguing was met with stern resolve.
We were here for one reason only: to get my magic under control before it accidentally killed someone, before I ruined his perfect reputation.
But my resistance to his training techniques was making that impossible.
It wasn’t that I wanted to defy him. More than anything, I desperately needed the control over my magic that he possessed over his.
But the thought of injuring someone again, of killing them, stopped me in my tracks every time.
It didn’t matter that the only person who could get hurt was Thorne. It didn’t matter that any injury would be deemed an accident. Despite his coldness to me this past month, the thought of harming him froze me with fear.
He might be punishing me for my sins, but I had no desire to punish him in return.
Maybe that made me weak, but every time I thought about getting revenge, I remembered the look on his face when he’d found out what I’d done to his sister.
The look of utter betrayal, the devastation would haunt me forever, and every decision I’d made since had been because of that tragic day.
Which was why I already knew how this training session today would end. In epic failure like the dozens before it.
But as Thorne squared off with me in the grassy field like he’d done every day for the past month, the determined glint in his gaze was extra hard.
After a month of enduring his hard looks, the one he was giving me now sent goosebumps skittering over my flesh.
He was done being patient with me. Done waiting.
Today, I would either bend to his will . . .
Or break.
“Thorne,” I warned, slowly backing up a step. If he didn’t stop looking at me that way, this session was going to end with one or both of us killed.
Before I could say more, he widened his stance and said, “Attack me.”
No hesitation. No room for argument. He meant business and demanded my full cooperation.
I tensed as the darkness within me responded to the order, more than happy to oblige.
It didn’t care if he or anyone else was injured, a fact that was becoming more and more clear to me by the day.
Knowing that terrified me more than anything else.
More than the threats I’d received since coming here, more than Thorne’s cruel punishments, and even more than failing my family.
The darkness couldn’t be controlled. It wouldn’t let me control it.
Which was why my immediate response to Thorne’s order was, “You know I won’t.”
He pressed his mouth into a thin bloodless line. “We’ve been over this dozens of times, Snowflake. I won’t let your magic touch me. I’ll block it before it can leave a single mark.”
I stared at him for a beat, taking in that stubborn determination, before tossing my hands up in frustration. “You know I’m not going to attack you, so what’s the point of all this?”
“The point?” he repeated, his voice so low that I realized just how close his patience was to breaking. “The point is this.”
He threw his hand out, and it was the only warning I got before a white hot bolt of lightning streaked toward me.
It happened so fast that I couldn’t react.
I wasn’t even able to blink before the lightning tip was an inch away from penetrating my eyesocket.
The searing heat pulsing from it triggered my instincts, and I finally stumbled back, nearly falling on my butt.
Shocked, horrified that I’d been an inch away from being struck by lightning, the tether on my emotions snapped, and I screamed at him, “Are you insane?!”
“No,” he barked back, recalling the lightning as swiftly as it left.
With a crack, it returned to him, the tattoos on his arms absorbing the energy.
His gaze was dark, dangerous as he pinned it on me and spoke in a deathly quiet tone, “My magic is an extension of me and does exactly what I tell it to. Not for an instant do I allow it free will. If you can’t learn to control your magic like that, then you’ll fail in the upcoming trials.
Now stop wasting my time and attack me.”
Still shaking from how close he’d come to skewering me, I stammered, “I-I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t.”
His brows slammed down, darkening his eyes even more. He took a step, then another, prowling toward me in a way that had all the hair on my body standing on end. “Do you think I’m afraid of you?”