4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Anastasia
T he reception goes by without any problems. People dance and eat and drink.
Adrien pulls me onto the dance floor for our first dance. My hands are clammy and my heart is racing. Being near him makes me lightheaded. Why can’t I be as confident around him as I want to be? Because I was never given the chance to learn how to socialize with men in this manner.
“Why are you frowning?” Adrien asks as he waltzes me around the dance floor. Of course he would be a good dancer. “Is it about me?”
“As long as you promise to not sleep with other women, then no, it’s not about you.”
“I promised I would try. You are my wife now and while I hate the idea of being settled down, I do find you interesting. And I know your brothers will have my head if I hurt you.”
“I’m glad I pass your inspection,” I mutter.
Adrien laughs and pulls me in closer. “You are in a mood. Why?”
“I was kept sheltered my entire life. By my father. Then by my uncle. And then by my mom and sisters. Everyone either wants to protect me or hurt me. No in between. That’s why I was frowning. I wasn’t prepared for this moment. I wasn’t taught how to be around men.”
“If you had your way growing up, you have been running around town, sleeping with whoever?”
I can’t help but flush. “I’m not sure about sleeping with tons of different people. But I do know I would have dated. I would have kissed boys. I would have had the chance to sleep with people. But I was never given the chance.”
“Because you American mafia members love keeping your girls innocent.”
“Is that not how they do it in France?”
“In France, sex isn’t as taboo as it is here.”
“Explains your need to see other women even though we’re married.”
He gives me a sly smile. “I promised I wouldn’t do that. As long as you try in our marriage too. If you don’t give me any reason to look outside our marriage, then we won’t have any problems.”
Now my frown is definitely because of him. “So, are you saying if I don’t sleep with you, you’ll go out and sleep with other women?”
“I have needs.” He says it so dismissively that it makes me stop dancing and pull away from him.
“What about my needs?”
His eyes darken as he looks me over. “Your needs? I’ll be happy to please you in whatever way you want.”
“I don’t mean physical.” Even though the thought of Adrien touching me is making me warm and excited. “I mean emotional. My heart.”
“Your heart? Don’t waste time on pointless emotions, Anastasia.”
“I told you to call me Ana.”
“I will call you whatever I want. I am your husband now.”
“So, you’re refusing to show me respect by not calling me by the name I asked of you?”
He sighs like I’m being the dramatic one. “You are being taxing tonight. This is why I never wanted to get married. It’s too messy. Too complicated.”
“You don’t even sound like you have a heart.”
“I don’t. You need to know that about me, Anastasia.”
“ Ana .”
“This marriage will only work if you temper your expectations. This is purely political.”
“So, if it’s purely political, then you won’t be angry if we don’t have sex? Because last I checked, sex involves emotion. The one thing you apparently hate.”
“I’ve had plenty of sex that didn’t involve any emotion.”
I scoff. “You are disgusting. If I had known this, I never would have agreed to marry you.”
“But you did and we’re in this now.”
“I just wanted an adventure. Something exciting.”
“And I can give you that,” he says. “But just don’t expect me to fall in love with you and you would probably be best to not fall in love with me.”
I walk off the dance floor, not even caring if it’s seen as rude.
My mom finds me in a dark corner of the room, away from the prying eyes of all the guests I don’t even know.
“Don’t,” I warn. “Don’t say ‘I told you so.’ I don’t want to hear it.”
“I wasn’t going to say it. I just wanted to say that I love you and I’ll miss you when you move to France. And if you ever need help, I’ll be there. Ok? I’ll hurt him for you if you need me to.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I give her a tight hug. She was never one for giving me and my sisters many hugs growing up so I cherish this moment with her.
But it’s over too soon.
And as the night continues on and we get closer and closer to the end of the party, I know I’ll have to start my life with Adrien. And I know it will be complicated and messy. More messy than I ever thought it would be.
Why is the one man I chose not believe in love? In my adventure, I always imagined falling in love.
Adrien is putting a wrench in my plans. He’s the man I’m stuck with now and I don’t know how to process that.
Once the reception is over, I say my goodbyes to my family because it’s time to go to France. We’re not even having a wedding night. It’s just off to France to start our lives together.
After the tears and the hugs, I get into Adrien’s car and he drives us away from the church to the private hanger where his private jet is.
“If you can afford your own plane,” I say, “why do you need an alliance with my brothers-in-law?”
“I rent the plane. It’s not just mine. I share it with a few other people.”
“And that bothers you, doesn’t it?”
He gives me a look out of the corner of his eye. “Maybe. How did you guess?”
“Because you’re a man who likes money. I can tell.”
“Is that a bad thing? You make it sound like a bad thing.”
“No. I’ve grown up with money. I’m surrounded with people who have money. I was stating a fact.”
“You like to state your opinions, don’t you?”
“I’m a girl who has things to say. So sue me.”
He lets out a low laugh that makes me flush. His voice is warm and addicting and it makes me want to lean into him. But I have to be careful with Adrien. It would be so easy to get lost in him and not have him feel the same way in return, which would just be heartbreaking.
We arrive at the hanger and Adrien walks with confidence to the private airplane. I follow behind in my wedding dress, practically tripping over it to keep up with him.
To his credit, before he gets on the plane, he motions for me to go first and helps me up the stairs. So he has the ability to be a gentleman. He just chooses not to be one.
“Can I change into something more comfortable for the flight?” I ask once we’re seated. I made sure to bring a carry on with a pair of pajamas in it.
Adrien eyes me over in a way that makes my skin tingle. “No. I want to take your wedding dress off you.”
“What do you mean?” I hate how breathless I sound.
“When we arrive at my home in Paris. It will be the start of our honeymoon. We’ll have sex. I want to take the dress off you.”
“I never agreed to have sex with you.”
“I just assumed since we’re married now.”
“I haven’t given you my permission.”
He inclines his head. “And I will not rape you. If you do not want me to touch you, I won’t but I have to say, it will make for a very disappointing wedding night.”
“I don’t care about that. If I want to have sex, we’ll have it. If I don’t want to have it, we’re not going to have it.”
“I thought you wanted an adventure? Trust me, Anastaisa, I will make it pleasurable for you. I want you to enjoy our lovemaking.”
“I don’t trust you. That’s the problem.”
“And yet, you agreed to marry me upon first meeting me.”
“I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”
“And now you do,” he says. “You don’t need to fear sex. If you want an adventure, take it. I will be happy to oblige you.”
You just won’t be happy to love me , I think to myself. Why does that bother me so much? This would all be so much easier if I just let myself have fun with Adrien. He’s the kind of man who knows how to have fun.
“Maybe,” I concede.
“Well, you’ll know how you feel by the time we get to Paris.”
I’ll know in seven hours. Seven hours to make up my mind on whether I want to give myself into Adrien, a man I don’t trust, or keep my distance and try to protect myself.
It’s going to be a long flight.
When we arrive in Paris, it’s early morning and I’m exhausted.
I slept a few hours on the plane. The one nice thing about a private jet are the reclined seats.
But knowing I was going to be living with Adrien, a man who I barely know and one who intimidates me but also frustrates me, made me have restless sleep.
So now, I barely have any energy by the time we leave the plane. Adrien has a personal driver take us to his mansion. I don’t even realize I’m falling back asleep until the car stops and I wake up to find my head on Adrien’s shoulder.
He gives me a little smirk.
For someone who doesn’t believe in love, he sure does like to flirt.
“I’m glad my shoulder could provide you comfort,” he comments.
“It was an accident. Is this your home?” I look out the window to see a large white house with grey shutters over the window. It’s a beautiful home and it thrills me a little knowing I’ll be living here.
“It is. Do you like it?”
“I love it,” I admit.
“Then let me give you the tour. An adventure, right?”
“Right.”
During the flight, I had gone into the bathroom and changed into my loungewear, which I wear now. Adrien was not exactly happy that he didn’t get to be the one to take me out of my wedding dress but I’m still not sure I would have let him do that to me. I’m still not sure I want to sleep with him.
I mean, I would love to have the experience. Adrien makes my body feel warm and excited. But to give him my body will mean to give him all of me and he isn’t going to give me the same in return. So, I’m not sure I can be intimate with him. Not if I don’t want my heart broken.
The house is elegance personified. The front foyer is a large marble space that echoes when we talk. The living room and kitchen are interconnected. White and bright and beautiful. The windows are open, letting in a soft breeze. I could get used to living here.
But that’s assuming I’m allowed to leave.
“Adrien,” I say as we head upstairs, “I’m not a prisoner in this house, am I?”
“Why do you ask?”