Chapter 18
The following day was torture. When Asha woke up, Cade had already left, likely to attend to his inspections of the settlement.
With nothing in particular to do, she ate and dressed, then lay back on the bed with her sore ankle elevated on a cushion.
She started reading one of Cade’s books, titled Navigation for Dummies, which had lessons about using a compass, reading maps, and more modern innovations like GPS.
It wasn’t terribly interesting, but it was useful, at least.
Hours ticked by slowly, and Asha grew restless.
Her desire for Cade was like a fire under her skin, heated and burning, and as unfamiliar as it felt, she relished it.
She thought of what they’d done the night before, the way he’d touched and pleasured her, and heat pooled between her thighs.
She tried to push away the tantalizing images of his head between them, but they danced behind her eyelids every time she blinked.
He’d awakened her hunger, and now she was starving.
At the back of her mind, he’d also awakened her curiosity.
She was curious about all that he’d promised the night before, when he’d said he would show her how good it could be, and how pain could bring her more pleasure.
It seemed inherently contradictory, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
About him, and what it might be like to see him naked and let him inside her body—something she’d never relished the thought of before, but now craved in a way that was nearly painful.
So, when Cade finally came through the door of the cottage, Asha practically pounced on him.
Before he could say a word, she pulled him into a kiss that felt most unlike her—not cautious, not dubious, but happy and grateful and so very hungry.
His body softened against her, and he kissed her back with the same level of need.
They explored back and forth with their tongues until they had to surface for breath.
“That’s a welcome I won’t soon forget,” Cade said wryly.
Asha bit her lip, suddenly shy. It was an odd feeling, to put her affection for him on display like that. But more surprising, it felt good, and not just physically. It fed something deep in her soul, to have someone, at long last, to trust.
“I missed you,” she admitted, feeling foolish and exhilarated at the same time.
Cade’s sweet smile was worth it. “That doesn’t sound like my Asha. She’d tell me to go jump in a lake.”
My Asha. She felt like an idiot with how giddy that made her.
“I haven’t ruled it out,” she replied with a snort.
Cade smiled wider, then kissed her some more. She got lost in his lips, and a thrill went through her when he pushed her back onto the bed and climbed on top of her, deepening their kiss. She loved the feel of him, powerful and strong, against her.
Powerful, but never cruel.
Still, a nagging voice in her head castigated her for enjoying her submission to him as much as she had. What is wrong with you? You call yourself a rape victim, then you go and do this? Beg for it?
Cade must’ve felt her stiffen, because he abruptly stopped kissing her and fixed her with that piercing grey gaze that she both loved and hated. It meant he was analyzing her.
“What is it?” he asked, hushed. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no,” Asha replied in a rush. “I just…”
When she didn’t continue, he said, “You’re going to have to help me out here, darling. Talk to me.”
“It’s just…last night,” she managed after a moment. “I feel…guilty. For submitting to you. I’ve spent my whole life seeing sex as submission, and it was humiliating and horrible. But then, last night, I let you…”
She faltered, not sure how to properly express herself. Cade’s eyes, however, softened with understanding. Somehow, he’d listened to that muddled mess and knew what she was telling him. She loved that about him.
“Did you enjoy submitting to me?” he asked, gently caressing her jaw.
Asha swallowed hard. “So much.”
Her cheeks flamed. She felt a sense of shame about just how much she’d liked submitting to him.
It felt like a betrayal of her past experiences with submission, which had been at best uncomfortable, at worst violating.
He must’ve read it in her expression because he bent and kissed her—so gently, so patiently.
“It doesn’t invalidate any of what’s happened to you before, my angel,” Cade murmured. “It’s different now. When you submit to me, it’s a game we’re playing together that gives both of us pleasure. Trust is sexy, darling.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “Trust is sexy?”
He nodded. “I can’t tell you how hard I got last night when you just let go of control…let me blindfold you, let me eat your pussy. When you followed my orders without question. Your submission is…intoxicating. Especially because in your day-to-day, I doubt anyone would describe you that way.”
He grinned, and she acknowledged his point with a sheepish giggle.
“So, your submission is just for me,” he continued, with a suggestive smile. “And that feels pretty special.”
Her flush deepened, but this time with pleasure. It felt special to her, too, to share herself with him in a way she hadn’t with anyone else before. To let go of her inhibitions and seek pleasure for herself.
“I’m…curious about something,” Asha said awkwardly, hesitating. Cade lifted her hand to his lips, kissing along her palm. “You said last night that…that pain could be a tool to enhance pleasure.”
“Mm,” he replied, his lips moving down her hand. “When used the right way, pain can make your pleasure stronger—more potent.”
She shuddered as the tip of his tongue grazed the soft underside of her wrist.
“Did you want to explore that?”
He was right about submission making me feel freer. She was choosing to trust that he’d be right about this, too.
She hesitated again, but ultimately answered, “Yes.”
His pupils dilated with arousal, but he exhaled slowly. “Are you sure, darling? You don’t think it’ll bring up…bad memories? I don’t want you to do it because you think it’s what I want. I’m happy to have you in whatever way I can.”
His words touched her heart. He really cared.
“I’m sure,” Asha said. “I want this with you.”
Cade lips curved into a small smile that felt equal parts seductive and dangerous.
“I’ll start slow,” he murmured against her skin. “If you need me to stop, use the safeword ‘red.’ Everything stops when you use it, no matter what. Understood?”
Asha nodded, desire blooming deep in her core.
Cade kissed her again, deeper this time, and the effect it had on her was drugging.
She clung to him, pressing herself against his warm, hard body.
His arms closed around her, and one hand twisted into her dark hair.
He gave it a harsh tug, pulling her head back, and she gave a small gasp at the slight sting as his mouth moved to her neck.
“Ah, you’re so soft,” Cade breathed against the delicate skin of her throat. “So beautiful. So ready to submit to me, hmm?”
He spread open-mouthed kisses down her neck, and his tongue darted out, teasing her skin, distracting her. His quick, sharp bite made her squeal in surprise more than pain, but the dull sting still managed to set every nerve in her body on fire.
“When I ask you a question, I expect you to answer, my angel,” Cade growled. “Now, tell me you’re ready to submit to me. To give yourself over to me. To put me in charge of your pleasure…and your pain.”
“Yes, sir,” she gasped out without thinking, the way she did during drills, and she felt his grin against her neck.
“Sir,” he repeated with quiet delight. “Hmm. I do like that. Now, strip.”
“What?” Asha asked, still in a haze of desire. How was it possible for a few kisses and a bite to make her want him so badly?
“You heard me. Strip. Quickly. Or we’ll be introducing you to pain faster than I planned.”
His voice brimmed with both threat and dark promise.
A shiver of anticipation and fear rippled down Asha’s spine.
She stood and grappled with her clothes, shedding them faster than she ever had before.
Somehow, her fear didn’t activate that impulse to fight that she usually felt.
Instead, it imbued her with a small, intensely pleasurable shot of adrenaline that made her pussy wet.
When she stood before him, naked as the day she was born, Cade exhaled in appreciation.
Asha had never been especially self-conscious about her body, but she’d also never thought of it as anything but average.
She may have been beautiful compared to most Wastelanders, who endured such hard living, but among the women of the Cave, she was just another pretty face in a sea of them.
The way Cade’s eyes scanned every inch of her skin, however, made her feel like she was the rarest, loveliest woman on the face of the Earth. Though she’d giggled at his compliments the night before, there could be no doubt from the look on his face that he’d meant them.
“All of you belongs to me,” he said, his voice a soft, menacing caress.
His hands cupped her breasts, kneading at her soft, brown nipples with his thumbs.
She moaned, arching up into his touch, and he gave her what she wanted.
Her pussy ached from his attention, as though an invisible cord were tugging at it, attached to her nipples.
Cade stood and walked behind her, surveying every inch of her.
“Why don’t you bend over the bed, darling?”
She scoffed as she obeyed him. “I thought you were supposed to be ordering, not asking, sir.”
She couldn’t help mocking him. He made it too easy, even in bed.
Smack. She cried out at the profound sting of his hand hitting her left ass cheek, hard. He hadn’t used his full strength, yet it still hurt enough to make her squeeze her thighs together.