Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Danika
Of course I don’t call Nico. That would be fucking absurd.
But I do end up going someplace I never thought I’d be. The school gym.
Sydney always said that exercising gave her endorphins and I could sure as hell use a few of those right about now. Maybe if I got on the treadmill, I could run off some of this pent up energy and anger.
After about thirty seconds jogging at four miles per hour, I realize this is so not going to work for me and I hop off, thinking maybe a trip to the mall and a little retail shopping would be more my speed.
As I head toward the door, a few guys huff loudly as they punch a hanging bag, catching my attention. Looking past, I double take when I see Nico there, gloves covering his hands. He hits the bag a few times, aggressively, then backs up and sips his water.
Perfect. If anyone deserves my anger right now, it’s Nico.
“Hey,” I shout at him as I stomp over. “Hey!”
Nico looks up from his water, in fact all four men look over but my rage filled eyes are locked on my ex-boyfriend’s.
“Danika? What are you doing here?”
“Outside, now.”
I turn on my heels and march toward the door, knowing he’s following without having to look backward. Throwing open the door, I head into the crisp November air. Nico catches the door before it closes behind me.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”
I whip around, ready to give him my all. But before I can, I see the concern in his eyes. They are a mirror of how Arden’s looked right before I left.
And before I know it, the floodgates have opened and I find myself not able to stop the tears as they waterfall down my cheeks.
“Jesus Christ, Danika. What is going on?” Nico reaches out to pull me in but I swat him away. “You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
“How did you get the black eye?”
Nico rears back a bit, surprised by my question. I never got to the bottom of that situation and Nico was happy to let me think that Arden hit him even though I know he didn’t.
Nico nods a few times, seeming to come to a decision in his head, before nodding backward toward the gym. “I’ve been boxing at the gym for a few months. Caught a stray hit from a friend.”
“So, it wasn’t Arden.”
“No, Danika. Your boyfriend didn’t hit me in the face.”
“But you happily let me believe he did?”
Nico reaches out again but I move back. “Did he do something to you? I’ve never seen you act this way.”
I shake my head. “Answer my question.”
“Yes, I let you believe he did because I wanted to get between you two. I wanted you to want me again.”
“That’s fucked up, Nico.”
He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“You and I are never going to be together again. I need you to understand that.”
“Shit, Dani. I know. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass all semester. I was just hoping you’d finally give in, but I can see you’re happy with this kid…or at least I thought you were.” He reaches out to wipe the last of the tears from my cheeks but I move out of his grasp, wiping my face myself.
“Even if I wasn’t with Arden, you and I would not be together. You hurt me in inconceivable ways and I will never give you or anyone else a chance to do that again.”
Nico nods in understanding and I have to give him some credit for not pushing the matter further.
Maybe he is actually maturing. Either way, this conversation feels like the exact closing I needed to this chapter with him and, while that feels good, it doesn’t change the fact that my relationship with Arden is still in shambles.
Instead of attempting retail therapy, I find myself getting in my car and driving to Boston, which might’ve been a little bit rash but it was the only thing I could think to do.
All I want is my best friend.
Luckily, she’s only a two hour drive away and I’ve done enough work this week to blow off a class or two tomorrow.
Margot greets me with a glass of wine and it takes everything I have not fall apart right then and there. Alex has made himself scarce, which is nice but honestly unnecessary. It actually might’ve been better to get a man’s perspective on this.
“So, what happened?” Margot asks, cutting immediately to the chase, as she does.
“Arden and I had a fight.”
She sips her drink, regarding me coolly. “What about?”
I sigh. “I don’t even know at this point. We’re fighting like we’re a couple. We fuck like we’re a couple. The only difference is, we aren’t a couple. And…”
Margot’s wine glass stops halfway to her mouth.
“And he’s dating someone, Margot!”
She finishes her sip. “He said that?”
“Yes!”
“He said he was dating someone?”
“Well…no. He said he was seeing someone. But that’s like the same thing.”
“What twenty-six year old man says he’s seeing someone?”
“I don’t understand.”
“He is seeing someone, Danika. He’s seeing a therapist.”
For a moment, I’m stunned into silence. Then, “he’s dating a therapist?”
Margot rolls her eyes. I put the glass on the table and curl my feet underneath my legs.
“What is he seeing a therapist for?”
Margot hesitates. This is a sensitive topic that I should be talking to Arden about, but the fact that he never told me in the first place gives me the impression that he’s not going to.
So, Margot is my only source of information and based on the expression on her face, she’s realizing that at the same time as I am.
“You grew up with us. You know how hard Arden worked to take care of us because Mom was gone, right?”
I nod, urging her to continue.
“A few years back, Arden was having a really hard time. He was lashing out all the time. He was up and down, his emotions were all over the place. And when I left for college, it got even worse. So, Dad suggested he find a therapist.
“It took a while to find someone good and affordable, but eventually he did and he’s been doing sessions with her ever since. I guess he switched to phone sessions when he got to TU since Melissa is in South Carolina.”
Melissa. She has a name.
“What does he talk about with…Melissa?”
Even as I ask the question, I already know the answer. Both the Davis children were abandoned by their mother, but Arden, being old enough to know a life with her, took the brunt of that emotional stress.
Couple that with his dad’s paralyzing accident, Arden had a lot more dumped onto his plate than a boy his age should’ve had. It makes all the sense in the world that he would need someone to talk to about all this. A professional.
“I don’t know, Dani. I just know that ever since he started talking to her, he’s been so much happier. And him being with you has also made him happier.”
I’ve always wanted you. Always needed you. It’s always been you.
But wait…
“Who’s Katrina, then?”
“Huh?”
“When we were fighting, he got a call from someone named Katrina. You said the therapist’s name is Melissa.”
Margot shrugs. “Maybe I got the name wrong? Or maybe he’s got a new one since I last talked to him?”
“Maybe…”
Arden has been taking steps to better himself this entire time, and I threw it in his face. I continuously reminded him that he’s an angry, violent person and instead of letting him prove me wrong, I didn’t even give him a chance.
I just don’t understand why he didn’t tell me this in the first place. All of this could’ve been avoided if was just open and honest with me. Then again, I wasn’t always willing to listen or give him a chance, I pushed him away without even realizing I was doing it.
“I think I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
Margot fills my wine glass, then her own. “I agree, but there’s nothing to do about it now. So let’s order some take-out, put on Pride and Prejudice and think about something else for the night. You can worry on your way home tomorrow. Deal?”
All I can do is nod. I’m so glad I came. Turns out all I needed was a night with my best friend.
On the drive back to TU, I call Sydney but she doesn’t pick up. Odd. Deciding to try again later, I scan the radio until I find a song worth listening to. Once I finally do, my phone rings with an incoming call.
“Hey, Syd,” I answer without looking.
“Who?” The voice says back to me, I don’t even need to look to know who it is. This is why I screen my calls.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Who is Syd?” She says the name with such disdain that I want to hang up right then and there.
“Sydney, my old roommate, Mom? You know her.”
“Oh,” she says simply. “Whatever. How are you doing, honey? I haven’t heard from you in days.”
It’s actually been weeks but I’m not going to correct you.
“I’m fine, Mom. How are you?”
There’s a clinking sound on the other side of the phone. Like a piece of ice hitting a glass cup. “I’m great, honey. I wanted to make sure you were coming down for Thanksgiving this week.”
To be honest, Thanksgiving break had been the very last thing on my mind. With classes and this whole Arden situation, most of the fall holidays have slipped my mind.
Did I miss Indigenous People’s Day? Damn.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’ve got a lot going on with—”
She cuts me off. “No excuses, Danika. We haven’t seen you since the summer and that’s unacceptable.”
She’s purposefully not mentioning my father by name, which is smart but still upsetting that she’d even think to lump him into the plans to get me to come home.
I’m torn. I want to see my mother. I do miss her for all intents and purposes, but her love for the man that abuses her dulls the shine on her motherhood crown.
And avoiding my father will be easy if I just spend my free time at Margot’s like I usually do.
Although, now that I think about it, I’m not sure if she’ll be going home for Thanksgiving or if she’ll be going to Alex’s dad’s house.
Now that that strained relationship is being mended, I know it’s important to Alex that he spends time with his dad and brother and where Alex goes, Margot goes.
I could still hang out there if I wanted to. Memaw would welcome me in with open arms. But…will Arden be there? We haven’t talked about Thanksgiving. We haven’t talked about a lot of things.