Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
Danika
I have no choice but to take him at his word that he doesn’t want to talk about what’s going on between us.
And it’s absolutely fine by me because I have no idea what I would say anyway.
I love being so close to him. Hooking up and cuddling has been amazing.
But I also love eating dinner with him and cleaning up after.
I love sitting on the couch fighting about what movie to watch.
I love when he wakes me up to drive me to campus.
It’s all very confusing and I really don’t know what I’m feeling.
By Wednesday, I’m exhausted but we’ve made a deal and Wednesday nights are tutoring nights.
Grabbing his textbooks, I place them on the table, then I pull up a chair and have a seat.
He should be walking in the door any minute.
I know his last class on Wednesdays ends at four-thirty and it’s almost five now.
Might as well be productive as I wait.
I pull out my textbook and study materials for immunology and get lost in the work ahead of me.
Before I know it, my eyes are straining to read the books and I realize I’ve been sitting in the dark for quite some time.
Looking at the clock, it’s seven pm. I also realize that Arden hasn’t come home yet.
I try not to panic. It’s not like we ever really picked a time for our study sessions. It’s just always Wednesdays and Sundays. And maybe he considered the studying we had done while he was cooking took the place of today. But wouldn’t he have said something?
Either way, the question remains. Where is he? It’s not like him to stay out after class.
He doesn’t owe me any kind of explanation, we are only roommates after all, but still, I thought he’d want to tell me what he’s doing. Especially if it's different from the norm.
I start packing up my books when the door finally opens.
Arden stops short when he sees me at the table.
“Shit, I forgot.”
I give him a toothless grin. “No worries. I got a lot of work done.”
He scratches his head looking guilty as hell.
“Where were you anyway?” I try to sound as nonchalant as possible but I’m not sure it’s working.
He doesn’t say anything, hanging up his coat then pulling his shoes off. He walks into the kitchen and I follow. “Arden?”
“Huh?”
“I asked where you were.”
He opens the fridge door, glancing inside for something even though we both know that fridge is basically empty as always.
“Just hung out with some friends after class. Am I not allowed to do that?”
I rear back as if he’s hit me. What the hell? He closes the fridge, squeezing his eyes shut. He looks…torn. Guilty. Like he wants to tell me something but he can’t.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that. Just…” His phone dings with a notification that he looks at then stuffs his phone back into his pocket. “I’m just distracted today. Got a lot going on. I’m gonna order chinese? You interested?”
“Sure,” I nod even though I’m not actually sure what I’m agreeing to. Chinese food for dinner? Okay? What is going on? Why is he acting so dodgy?
Is he…dating someone else?
His phone pings again and this time he opens it and checks the notification, looking intently at something on the screen for a while. I lean in to take a peak but he pulls the screen away.
“Text me what you want. I’ll order it in a few minutes.” On that last note, he walks past me into his bedroom and closes the door.
I’m left standing in the kitchen not having a clue who just walked into my apartment but I know for damn sure it wasn’t the Arden Davis that I know.
It’s a wonder I was able to make it through any of my classes today. The way Arden acted last night, the way he blew me off and wouldn’t let me see his phone…It was all a little more than strange.
We’ve never kept secrets from each other. We tell each other everything, almost to a fault. Even if he is seeing someone else, he should be man enough to tell me. I can handle it. I’m a big girl.
It’s late by the time I walk back into the apartment, having spent extra time studying with the anatomy group after lab today.
I had texted Arden asking if he wanted some pizza on the way home but he didn’t answer.
Still, I brought a whole pie just in case.
Even if he isn’t hungry, he’ll still have some.
When I walk in the door, I can tell that Arden is in his room with the door slightly ajar. I drop the pizza box on the counter and go to say hi. He mumbles something and I can tell that he’s on the phone with someone.
Then he laughs and I breathe a sigh of relief. If he’s chuckling then he must be talking to Margot. Who else would he be giggling with on the phone? Arden laughs again into the phone so I walk up behind him and take it out of his hand.
“Hey, Mars bars.’’
The voice on the other side of the phone sends a shiver down my spine.
“I take it this is Danika.”
I’m frozen, my eyes shoot to Arden’s and he looks like he’s about to puke.
“And you are?”
“Why don't you ask Arden,” the very definitely female voice says calmly and I hand the phone back to him without a word. He says something along the lines of “talk later” and hangs up.
“Who was that Arden? Are you seeing someone else? Is it that blonde girl from the party?”
“Who?”
“Don’t act stupid. It’s beneath you. I saw you talking to her at the cafe, too. Is she the reason you’ve been pushing me away?”
“I’m not pushing you away, Danika.”
“Who was that? Why does she know my name?” I’m not so slowly losing my cool here. Who the hell is he talking to on the phone and why won’t he just tell me? I start narrowing down suspects in my head.
He's quiet for a moment as if wrestling with the truth. He finally opens his mouth. “It’s not the blonde girl. I am seeing someone but it's not what you think. I'm trying to deal with my messes here.”
“Well, what other woman would you be talking to? I know it’s not your mom.” He rears back as if I’d slapped him across the face. And I might as well have.
“Why the fuck would you say that?”
“I don’t know, I—” I pull my ring on and off my finger mindlessly.
“You know, I’ve spent a lot of time worrying that I’ll hurt you but maybe it’s the other way around.”
“What are you talking about?” His words are hurting me and mine are hurting him just as badly. “Arden?”
Arden takes in two deep breaths and lets them out slowly. He’s gripping his phone tightly in his fist. “I’m trying to sort myself out.” He speaks slowly, enunciating each word. “I’m seeing someone who helps me with that.”
Immediately I see red. He is seeing someone else. Why the hell would he go back and forth with me when he clearly has interest in someone else? Someone who can help him “sort himself out”, whatever that means.
What needs to be sorted? And what does this girl have that I don’t? Why can’t he just let me all the way in?
Have I given him the chance?
He opens his mouth to say something but his ringtone sounds, calling both of our attention to the name on the screen. Katrina.
Arden throws his head back in exasperation. “Fucking perfect.” He ignores the call but the damage is done. I am fuming. He wants to have his friends-with-benefits cake and talk to other girls too? He wants to play me this way? Hell fucking no.
“You can see whoever you want. In fact, I don't want to hold you back anymore because your end of the bargain is done and basically so is mine so we can just end this right here. Mess dealt with. Go back to just being roommates who aren't fake dating and who don't fuck each other when we're bored.”
His eyes darken, his voice dangerously low. “When we're bored? That's why you’re sleeping with me? Because it entertains you?”
“Doesn’t it entertain you? Don't you just enjoy feeling good? We've always been a means to an end, you and I.”
“You're pulling a lot of shit out of your ass right now and you're going to regret it later.” He runs his hands through his hair before dropping his arms loudly to his sides.
“I don't think so.” Leaving the room, I grab my keys, purse and jacket. No idea where I’m going, I just can’t stay here. “I'm going out. Don't wait up. Roommates don't do that.”
Arden follows me out of his room. “Right, actually why don't you go call Nico if you get bored.”
I look back at him as I leave, his eyes have softened a bit, filled more with concern than anger. But it’s too late. “Maybe I fucking will.” I slam the door behind me.