15. Zoe
Zoe
I wake with a start, gripping the pendant that I couldn’t bring myself to remove before bed. My dreams were once again filled with visions of volcanoes erupting and blankets of ash, so thick they could bury me as they have for the past two nights.
The early morning light slashes across my face, and I groan, knowing that there is no point in trying to fall back asleep when class is in a few hours. I may as well get up and grab a leisurely breakfast before Designation Hierarchy.
After a shower and a quick change into denim pants and a cotton shirt, I head out for breakfast.
I run into Cliff in the hallway.
“Hey, Zoe.” His smile is soft, and his eyes are half open. “Getting some food?”
“I could really use a coffee. I’ve had a rough couple of nights of sleep.”
He grunts and gestures for me to lead the way. "Same here."
As we cross campus to the Hub, I can’t help but ask. “Warren keep you up?”
I don’t know why I’m asking. I don’t really want to know what Warren is or isn’t doing with the people he meets here. Our entire friendship, since we were old enough to start dating, has been us turning a blind eye to one another's romantic entanglements, and if I were smart, I'd keep it that way.
But a piece of me demands to know. Like he belongs to me and I deserve to keep him all to myself.
I don’t know where that feeling of possession comes from, but it’s not one I want to entertain. I don’t even know if I’m into Warren that way. I’ve never really given myself the chance to think about it.
And yet…
“Yeah. He had a guest over.”
An uncomfortable feeling tightens my chest, and my skin heats. I feel a little queasy.
“Oh. Okay. Well, if you want me to talk to him about it, I will. He shouldn’t be allowing his dalliances to affect your sleep.”
Cliff’s grabs my forearm, and the warmth of his touch soothes my frayed edges.
“You don’t need to do that. I’ll set some limits with him. This is the first time it’s happened.”
Secretly, I’m relieved. What would I even say to him? I would’ve done it despite how uncomfortable it would have been for Cliff. In our few short interactions, I’ve come to appreciate his quiet, steady presence.
That warm wine-drunk feeling I got when I first touched him hasn't gone away. It grows with every smile he's given me over a meal, with every door he holds open for me.
We don’t speak as we gather our breakfasts, an omelet for him and a pastry and coffee for me.
I sit across from the Beta, admiring the angles of his face, the rich tone of his skin, and the way he fills out his shirt, wondering what to say to him.
I’m sure that I made it awkward bringing up Warren and his extracurricular activities.
My best friend warned Cliff away from me, and I still can’t understand why, but I haven’t brought it up to him. Maybe I should just lay it all out there because I like spending time with Cliff.
And I think I’d like to do more of it.
“I heard about the bonfire.” Cliff’s statement takes me by surprise. “Viv’s brother was yelling at you?”
I had completely forgotten about the kiss that melted me as sure as a flame. Reading Fate of the Fire and the fable within knocked that out of my brain.
“Oh, yeah. It wasn’t a big deal. He was drunk.”
“A drunk Alpha yelling at a Beta is always a big deal. And he just got his beast a few weeks ago. What if he lost control? You could have been hurt.” Cliff folds his napkin on the top of his plate and leans across the table, propping himself up with his elbows.
His arms flex, the muscles straining the white fabric of his shirt, and I get a little distracted by the view until he continues talking.
“What was he yelling at you about?”
How much of this do I want to tell Cliff?
He knows about Cameron. I doubt the possessive way he attacked Cliff just for speaking to me would be easy to forget.
The gossip mill got to him about the fight.
Should I go all in and tell him what Ray said, then ask for his advice on how to deal with Dominic as well?
What would he say if he knew that, since I got here, three Alphas have shown an interest in me, for better or worse?
I may not have seen Cameron since that interaction in the library, but I know to my bones that it won’t be the last time.
Alphas aren't known to give up easily when they want something.
“He thought I was wearing pheromone perfume to attract Alphas,” I mumble into my coffee cup.
Why am I embarrassed by this? I’m not wearing it, and I can't find it in me to shame those who do. Yet I feel like I’ve broken an unspoken rule.
The perfume is legal, but it’s seen as desperate to wear it because of the way Alphas react to Omega pheromones.
"But you’re not.” It’s not a question. Cliff knows I'm not, because he’d be able to smell it too. Betas can’t smell Alpha or Omega pheromones, but if they were synthetic, he’d be able to. Everyone could.
“I’m not.”
He gathers up our trash, then holds out his hand to me. I stand and take it, barely hiding the way I melt into the warmth of his touch, and after he tosses our trash, he guides me through the back of the Hub toward the academic buildings.
He doesn’t speak again until there are no people around us. “I don't like that Ray felt that wearing perfume would be an offense worthy of talking to you like that. Why did he think you were?”
“He said I smelled like pomegranates and honey.” It’s an oddly specific scent, one that I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered, but it doesn’t sound unappealing.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell Cliff about the kiss.
I’ve kept it to myself because I have no one to tell.
Warren and I don’t talk about this kind of stuff, and Ray is Viv’s brother.
I worry she won't believe me and thinks I am being vindictive toward him. I don’t want to be responsible for damaging their relationship.
And what would I tell Cliff? That Ray kissed me because he thinks I have Omega pheromones, and he’s not the only one? That my Alpha Aide keeps whispering in my ear that I smell like an Omega and that I’m hiding it from him?
One Alpha is a fluke.
Two is a coincidence I'm not sure I can ignore.
But would Cliff see it that way? Would he think this is all a fluke, or would he assume I actually am an Omega?
Maybe I should test the waters a little.
"Does that happen often, Betas wearing perfume to attract Alphas?"
The Beta rests his back against the exterior wall of one of the academic buildings.
My stomach swoops, and I'm unable to pull my eyes away from the way his denim tightens around his big thighs.
The man is built with just enough softness to make me wonder what it would be like to snuggle up against him.
"It's not uncommon. I don't know how any Alpha falls for it.
You know when you're in the presence of Omegas. "
I jerk my eyes to his. Does he know I was staring? "You've met one before?"
He nods stiffly. "Yeah. One came into the bakery."
Cliff is silent, offering nothing else, but I have to push. "How could you tell?"
"It's hard to explain. I just knew."
I twist the bottom of my shirt in my hands. "So someone would know it was perfume because an Omega is impossible to miss?"
"Yeah, I'd think so. I'll have to let you know if I spend more time around an Omega and can test the theory."
Is this why Dominic is insistent? It feels like even more evidence that I'm not actually an Omega.
Cliff guides me through the building toward the classroom where my Designation Hierarchy class meets. He swoops down and kisses me on the cheek.
“Thanks for joining me for breakfast. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”
He’s gone before I can form words. I touch my cheek, the skin warm and a soft tingle running through me. A kiss on the cheek shouldn't light me up the way that just did.
I stumble into the classroom in a bit of a daze, but I snap out of it when Viv calls my name and waves me toward the empty seat beside her.
She wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in for a half-hug. “You’re here early. Almost beat me for once.”
Viv is an excellent student. I'm lucky that she pays close attention and takes detailed notes that she's willing to share with me. I’ve never seen her slip in right before class starts, as I have once or twice already.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went for an early breakfast with Cliff.”
“Oooh, Cliff. Is there something going on there?”
His innocent kiss on my cheek floats back to the front of my mind. I don't want to read into it, but maybe he did notice me looking and was okay with it.
Or maybe it was just platonic affection.
“No, it’s not like that. We’re friends.” It doesn't feel quite right, and I can't put my finger on why.
I pull out my notebook and rest it on my knees before flipping to the next available page.
Except the page I expect to be blank isn’t.
Scrawled in neat, pointed handwriting is a single line.
I miss you. You still owe me dinner.