Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
T he next few days pass in a haze. I spend most of them alone, trying to work past my emotions and clear my head, using searching as a distraction. I know Dane isn’t leaving the island any time soon unless he is called and has no choice, but it feels like I am avoiding him.
My guilt hasn’t subsided, and I am keeping it to myself. I don’t want anyone knowing that I had any of these feelings. I just need time to work them out. Besides, I feel somewhat embarrassed that I stopped him the other night, and I don’t want to hurt him again. I know it was to protect my map, which is crucial to my time here. I don’t know what would hurt us more, me stopping his advances the way I did, him finding the map, or him finding out I let a Castaway go.
I need to get my head on straight.
I spend the entire morning on the far side of the island, near the coast. I’ve come up empty-handed, not even a diversion from the island to keep me on my toes .
Hour after frustrating hour passes with nothing when I hear a low grumble in the distance. I peer out over the sea and sure enough, off in the distance are thick black storm clouds, moving quickly and heading directly for Dawnlin.
Might as well call it a day.
A tropical breeze blows on my back as I head back toward camp. We don’t have warm storms back in Blackwood. They are usually frigid and icy, sometimes with a bit of snow. Another new experience in Dawnlin.
I run into Taril on the main path, who is also trying to beat the storm back to camp.
“Those look like dark clouds,” he says. “I have a feeling this is going to be a rough one.”
“Hopefully, everyone makes it back in time,” I say with a glance at the sky.
“Make sure to bring all your stuff to the cabin.”
“The cabin?”
“Yeah. During big storms like this, we can’t sleep in our bunks. There’s no protection, so we all go to the cabin.”
“I’ve never seen it,” I say as we walk through the portal.
“Go grab your stuff and meet me at the tavern. I’ll take you there.”
We go our separate ways once we get up into camp and I head to my bunk. I hadn’t accumulated anything of value to me here, besides the charcoal and candle, but I can’t risk Dane discovering those and decide to leave them here tucked under the center of my sleeping pad. At least they won’t fall if the bunks rattle in the wind.
I arrive at the tavern with only my pillow and blanket and Taril is waiting for me, a sack slung over his shoulder.
“This way,” he says, directing me back toward the boys’ bunks. I follow closely, not having spent much time on this side of camp before. Just before we get to the bunks, he turns toward an enormous tree trunk with a door carved into it. He turns the handle, pushing the door open and steps inside. I follow, and once I cross the threshold, I realize he wasn’t kidding about calling it a cabin.
Magic opens the inside of the trunk into a large wooden walled room. Lit sconces hang from the walls, casting a calming glow over the room. The floor is covered with cots, sleeping pads, and large fluffy cushions tossed haphazardly around with hammocks hanging from the roof. A mini tavern is to the right, already filled with snacks and an opening to grab hot meals. Some Voyagers have already set up inside, but it seems like most haven’t returned yet.
“There’s no point in splitting up in here. Just pick a spot before they’re all taken.” Taril takes off to the back of the room, and throws his sack down inside a hammock.
I weave through the cushions on the floor and make my way over to a larger fluffy pad up against the wall. I put my pillow down and spread my blanket across it, smoothing it over the edges. More Voyagers wander into the cabin, and soon Mara and Lily step inside.
“Hey,” Mara calls out, stepping over some cushions and making her way toward me, Lilly following closely behind. “Just grab a bed, anywhere you want.”
I sit down on my bed and cross my legs. “How was your first day, Lilly?”
“It was good,” she says quietly. “Just still trying to wrap my head around all of this.”
“It’s a lot all at once,” I agree. She sets her pillow and blanket on a cot next to the pad Mara chose. Mara has a sack of belongings, just like Taril. I guess that is an easy way to determine who has been on the island the longest.
“I’m hungry,” Mara says once her bed is set up. “Anyone want food?”
Lilly and I nod and follow Mara across the room to the small tavern. A couple of boys in front of us grab their food, and we fall in line behind. I turn when I hear the door open, followed by a crash of thunder and the sound of pounding rain.
“Go in, get inside. ”
Several Voyagers hop in through the door, followed by Dane’s large frame. He is soaked through and shakes his long hair away from his face as he too steps inside, closing the door behind him.
“You found it,” he says as he wraps an arm around my shoulder and squeezes me to him.
“I did thanks to Taril, otherwise I would have been out there in the rain wondering where everyone went.”
“Nah, I would have gone to find you.” He winks, followed by a light brush of his lips over mine. “Get some food. I’m going to go get some dry clothes and make sure everything is in order.”
I nod as he releases me, and move forward to grab my plate and make room for the line that is now forming behind us.
I follow Mara and Lilly back to our space and we eat, chatting easily between us. The more we talk, the more Lilly relaxes, offering tidbits of herself and her life back home. No one asks who she is here for. We try to keep the conversation light.
Boys run around the room, yelling, laughing, and tackling each other. Some lounge around in their beds, talking animatedly to the others around them. I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips as I take in the chaos around me. Something about everyone being together like this just feels different. We often eat dinner at the same time, but this feels like more.
It feels like a family.
I smile, turning my attention back to the story Mara is telling when I feel the cushion beside me shift.
“Any breakthroughs today?” Dane asks as he settles down beside me.
I shake my head. “No, unfortunately. I came back pretty early once I saw the clouds rolling in.”
“Good choice. It is really wet out there. Things can get pretty unstable when it rains like this.”
Lightning flashes across the window, lighting the room for a split second. Thunder rolls a few minutes later as the storm picks up.
I turn to him. “How long do they usually last? ”
“Could be a couple days, but usually not more than that.” He reaches over and picks some food off my plate and pops it into his mouth.
“Hey! Get your own!” I say with a small shove.
He chuckles and chews the bite. “Aw, come on, you’ll share with me.”
“The only—” I am cut off by a quiet voice standing in front of us.
“Excuse me, Lennox?”
I roll my eyes at Dane. “You’re not getting off this easy.” He smiles and snatches another bite as I turn toward the boy standing in front of me. “Hey Roley. What’s up?”
“Um, I just, um, wondered if you had seen Fin? He isn’t back yet, and um, I didn’t know what to do.”
Fear and dread trickle down my spine as I sit bolt upright.
No.
“What do you mean, he’s not back? Were you with him today?” I ask.
Roley wiggles, shifting his weight on his feet as tears pool in his eyes. I have to remember, despite being on this island for years, he still is just a child, and is scared that something happened to his friend.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” I reach up and grasp his hands, squeezing them tight. “I’m not mad. I’m just trying to find out more information.”
He sniffles slightly. “We always meet at the tavern for dinner, but he hasn’t come back yet.”
“Maybe,” Dane chimes in, “he’s out there wondering where we all are. He’s new, remember? He may not know where to go.”
I jump to my feet and Dane pushes himself off the floor behind me.
“We’ll go check, alright? You stay here with Mara and Lilly.” I run my hand over the top of his head and nudge him toward Mara. She throws open her arms, and he snuggles up to her, still wearing the worried look on his face.
“It’ll be alright,” I hear her whisper to him. “We’ll find him.” He nods slightly and sniffles again.
Dane takes my hand and pulls me to follow as he weaves through everyone lounging on the floor .
“Dane, I’m worried,” I say.
“There’s probably a simple explanation. Don’t be worried until we have something to worry about.”
He pulls the door open and large raindrops blow inside. He ducks out of the frame and I follow, shutting the door behind me. The wind and the rain are strong, making it difficult to see, and I am drenched in seconds.
“I’ll go check the bunks, you check the tavern,” Dane calls over the wind.
“I’ll go to the training grounds after. Maybe he’s staying under the trees.”
Dane nods before squeezing my hand. “We’ll find him.”
He jogs toward the bunks, and I speed in the opposite direction.
“Fin!” I scream as loud as I can, hoping he can hear me over the storm. “Fin!” I barrel down the walkway toward the cavern. I can hear Dane calling out for him as well, which means he isn’t at the bunks. “Fin!” I scream again as I round the corner and looked into the tavern.
Empty.
He isn’t here. I run quickly, calling his name repeatedly and check every area I can think of. The showers, the girls’ bunks, the armory. Nothing.
He isn’t here.
I need to get down in the clearing. Maybe he took shelter under the trees.
The storm clouds make the evening darker than normal, and I know night is rapidly approaching. I slide myself down the sides of the ladder, not bothering to wait for the platform to lower.
“Fin!”
I run across the clearing, rain pelting my face as I squint, trying to see clearly. I run to the training area, scanning it and the surrounding trees, but it is empty.
Dane’s calls get closer. He must be in the clearing now, too.
My breaths are becoming shallow and my fingertips are tingling.
Where is he? Why isn’t he answering ?
“Have you found him?” I yell toward Dane as I run back onto the path, checking the cages I was locked in on the first day. They had a roof. Maybe he sought them out for shelter.
“He’s not over here,” Dane yells back.
I try to choke back a sob.
No. There is no way he is gone. He always makes it back, every night.
I run back to the clearing, straight to Dane. “I need to go look for him.”
“We can go just outside the portal, but we can’t go far. It’s too dangerous.”
“It’s dangerous for him too!” I yell at him, fury rising in my veins. I am not angry at Dane, and he doesn’t deserve that. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry. I just need to make sure he’s okay.”
Dane’s arms wrap around me and he pulls me in close. We stand in the middle of the clearing, rain pouring down on top of us, and I let the tension in my shoulders drop. Another sob wracks my body, causing Dane to hold me tighter before I push him away.
“I’m going to go look for him.”
I climb the ladder faster than ever before and barrel through the walkways to the armory. I sling weapons across my body, making sure I am heavily armed going out at night in this storm. Dane comes up beside me and pushes the door wider, pulling out his own weapons and stowing them on his body.
“We can’t be out long. The rain isn’t letting up, and it’s not safe.”
I whip my body toward him. “It’s even more unsafe for Fin.” I slam the door to the armory and run back to the platform. I need to get out there.
These emotions are foreign to me. I’ve never cared this much about anyone in my life. I had no one I needed to look after or make sure they made it home. If something happens to Fin, I will be devastated. I won’t even know how to break the news to his family, how to find them. I might not even be able to try if we can’t figure out how to replenish the dust.
When my feet hit the ground, I run toward the portal. I can hear Dane behind me as I step into the darkness. I emerge on the other side with him beside me, holding out a torch for me to grab. I hadn’t thought about how dark it is going to be. The light might make us easy targets for any Castaways out in the storm, but it is the only hope we have to see anything.
“Fin!” I call out, pushing away leaves and tromping through the wet trees to the main path.
The torch stays lit despite the downpour, and I am thankful for the magic that is helping me try to find him.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I say as I glance back and forth in both directions.
“We need to stay together,” Dane says. “Do you have any idea where he was today?”
“No. Roley didn’t say either. I don’t think he knew.”
“Alright. Lennox, I need you to listen to me. We might not find him tonight. I need you to understand that. But he’s a smart kid. He’s learned a lot.”
I don’t want to say it, but I need to. I need to prepare myself for the worst. “What if they took him?”
His face turns grim. “We won’t know right away. Try not to think that way.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. If it isn’t safe to be out long, we need to get going so we can cover as much area as possible.
We search the section closest to camp, scouring the paths and offshoots, checking everywhere he could have stopped for shelter. There is no sign of anything amiss, no footsteps in the mud or broken branches that might indicate a scuffle.
Despite being soaked to the bone, I am not cold. The storm is hot and muggy, and the air is filled with buzzing and rain. The warmth makes me push to keep looking, but the longer we are out, the more my fear rises that we will not find him tonight.
“We need to call it.”
“No, just a little more. Maybe he’s down at the beach? ”
Dane shakes his head. “I doubt it. There’s nowhere there to hide from the storm. It’s time, Lennox. We need to head back.”
I let out a scream of frustration. I don’t want to give up. I can’t. Not on Fin. But if we don’t head back now, we would put ourselves in more danger. If something happens to us, we won’t be able to help Fin at all.
I finally concede, and Dane leads us back to camp. I feel numb, and the gaping hole in my chest widens with each step back to the portal. He will be alright. He has to be. I promised he wouldn’t lose me, but now I’d lost him.
Tears streak down my face, unnoticeable in the rain. Dane takes the torch from me as we arrive and places them back in the sconces he took them from. We slowly walk back to the cabin. I don’t know how long we’d been gone, but almost everyone is asleep when we step inside.
Mara perks her head up, moving only slightly so as not to disturb a sleeping Roley tucked into her side. She meets my eyes, silently asking for news. I shake my head and look away, trying to hide the defeat and worry that is eating me alive.
Dane places his hand on the small of my back and guides me past the tavern to a small washroom. I go first, toweling off and wringing out my soaking wet hair. I change into new clothes and gather up all the weapons I had to take off before I walk outside. Dane slips into the room after, while I make my way over to my bed and set all the weapons down on top of it.
I probably should get something to eat, but the thought of food makes my stomach churn. I had barely taken a bite when Roley asked about Fin. There is no way I will be able to eat, or sleep for that matter.
In a trance of my thoughts, I don’t see Dane approach. He extends his hand down to me and I take it. He pulls me up and we walk a few spaces over to an empty large fluffy sphere. He plops down in a sitting position and extends his arm, making room for me to plop down beside him. I sink into the cushion as it molds around me and turn to lean into his chest.
“I’m not going to sleep tonight,” I murmur. His fingertips stroke my shoulder gently, soothingly .
“I know, but you should try. You need to have energy if you’re going to search tomorrow.”
I nod silently, knowing that between the nightmares and worry for Fin, it is going to be a rough night ahead.