Chapter 44
The date of the Commonwealth Games had always been on Alex’s radar but he had tried to push it to one side.
But on the Thursday night of the triathlon, knowing that it was taking place on the other side of the world, the temptation to watch it live was too great. So he made his excuses to the family about having a headache and went back to the apartment to settle down on the bed.
Hannah had told him that she would take care of Tiny as they had only just finished dinner so he was all alone as he lay on the covers, staring at the images on his phone.
He thought that he would be OK. He thought that he would be relieved to watch the race and not be taking part.
But he didn’t feel like that at all. The hurt and guilt over the fractured relationship with his dad came rushing back, along with all the pain he had tried to hide, even from himself.
He watched the triathletes swim across the water, trying to remind himself how much he enjoyed swimming in the lake these days. And yet he could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks as he stared at the screen.
He barely registered the sound of paws and footsteps on the stairs until it was too late and Tiny was rushing across the room towards him, followed by Hannah.
‘I hope you don’t mind,’ she began to say. ‘I brought some pills for your headache…’
But her words were swiftly replaced with a gasp as she stared at him, noting his tears. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked, rushing across the room to sit down next to him.
He couldn’t speak and merely held the phone out for Hannah to look at the screen.
‘Is it the race? Today?’ she asked softly.
He nodded.
She appeared to hesitate before suddenly swinging her legs onto the bed to lie down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.
He was instantly comforted by her support, knowing that he wasn’t alone, and laid his head on hers.
‘Johnny’s in the lead,’ he muttered.
‘Your friend?’ she asked.
‘He’s a good guy. He should win easily.’
They watched in silence as the runners headed around Sydney Harbour before coming to the finish along by the water. Huge crowds were cheering them along and he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if it had been him winning instead.
The race finished with his friend winning the gold medal easily. They watched the celebrations in silence before Alex switched off his phone.
Hannah finally lifted her head to look at him.
‘Do you miss it?’ she asked. ‘The competitions? The training?’
He nodded. ‘I didn’t think I would. I thought I was ready to step away. And I was. But…’
She took his hand with hers and gave it a squeeze and at once the pain was shared.
‘They all called and texted when they heard that I was out of the competition,’ he told her, gulping to clear his thick throat. ‘I was even invited to go over and do some coaching. Moral support and all that.’
‘Why didn’t you go?’
He sighed. ‘I could lie to you and say that I was too busy here and needed to recover.’ He gave her a sad smile. ‘But I never can seem to lie to you.’
‘So why are you here and not out there in Australia?’ she asked.
He took a deep breath. ‘Because, truth be told, I couldn’t bear to be there and not race. To be a part of all of it but only on the outside. It wouldn’t be the same.’
‘Have you heard from your dad since you saw him?’
He shook his head.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she told him.
‘But I’m not.’ He looked down at her hand still resting on top of his and squeezed it. ‘Just call me confused. Because I was desperately unhappy towards the end. And I think that perhaps I’ve found my way forward. Here. With you.’
The silence stretched out and he sensed her still holding back from him.
‘And Tiny and your family,’ he added quickly.
She nodded slowly. ‘Well, Tiny is very important and needs a steady home life,’ she said, with a smile.
‘He does.’
‘And for what it’s worth, we all want you here too.’ She appeared to take a deep breath. ‘I want you here.’
‘You do?’ He stared at her in wonder, reaching out to smooth down a lock of hair that had escaped from her ponytail.
She grabbed hold of his hand before he could pull it back and they locked eyes once more. His breathing quickened and yet neither of them made a move for a moment. It was if they were locked in time, in their own private moment.
Finally he couldn’t bear it any longer. So he leant forward to close the gap between them and kissed her gently on the lips.
He felt her start before her hand moved around behind his head and drew him even closer to her. The kiss was nothing like he had ever felt before. Passion, desire, love all rushed forward into his consciousness as the kiss went on and on, deeper and deeper.
Finally, she pulled back to look at him with wide eyes.
‘I was supposed to be cheering you up,’ she told him, breathless.
He smiled slowly at her. ‘Well, you’ve certainly done that,’ he replied.
They looked at each other for a long time before Tiny suddenly leapt onto the bed to join them, breaking their eye contact and also the moment.
They both laughed as he ran round and round chasing his tail before finally settling down.
‘Well, I’d better let you boys settle down,’ said Hannah, getting up from the bed.
Still reeling from their unexpected kiss, Alex looked up at her. She was looking a little confused, a tiny crease appearing on her forehead as she too processed what had just happened.
He didn’t want to pressure her and so said the first thing that came into his mind. ‘I’ll watch the medal ceremony, I think.’
She puffed out a sigh of relief and he realised that he had been right not to push her about the kiss.
So they shared a knowing smile and said goodnight before Hannah turned around and headed downstairs.
Alex lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how the very worst of times could quickly become the best of them as well. And despite still being upset about the race, he went to sleep with a smile on his face.