Chapter 39
Jolon was the first person to approach Vin after the funeral and Vigil for Uncle. He looked beyond sad, his arm tied in a sling as he winced in pain with every step.
“Vin,” he said, walking up and giving the bounty hunter a solemn nod.
“Jolon,” Vin said as the rest of the community continued to walk past them as they returned to their homes.
Some of them glanced in Vin’s direction, but he couldn’t tell if they were giving him a look of gratitude or contempt in the darkness of the desert night.
While some had appreciated Vin’s efforts in defeating Maverick and taking justice for Uncle’s murder, there were others who believed Vin’s actions did nothing but exacerbate an already tense and dangerous situation.
They believed, not without justification, that Vin’s personal vendetta with the Chain Gang had led to that parlay going off the rails.
“I feel very foolish,” Jolon said, looking at his wounded shoulder with frustration.
“You weren’t foolish, Jolon,” Vin said, shaking his head.
“I was,” the young protector said. “After our journey out into the desert, I started to think I could be like you.”
“Shit,” Vin said, spitting on the ground. “I’m no role model, kid. I thought you figured that out by now.”
“But you did what I couldn’t,” Jolon said sadly, casting his eyes down at the ground with a heavy sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the world on it. “And because of me, Uncle is gone.”
“It ain’t your fault, kid,” Vin said, laying a hand on Jolon’s good shoulder. “Those people, they don’t listen to reason. They don’t understand right and wrong the way you do.”
“I don’t know if I understand any of that anymore. I don’t think I could ever be the hero you are.” Jolon said, gesturing between himself and Vin.
Vin gave a short laugh, casting his eyes down. “I ain’t the white knight you think I am, kid,” Vin said, as a thousand different horrible memories from a thousand different horrible missions played through his mind. “You got a taste of that yourself when we were out there.”
“I don’t care what you’ve done in the past,” Jolon said. “And what you did in the desert was necessary. I see that now. Sometimes harsh action needs to be taken in his horrible world.”
Vin looked up at Jolon and stared at him long and hard.
The young man was sounding a lot like him now.
He was taking on Vin’s dark and pessimistic view of the world, seeing the whole of humanity as this unredeemable mob that wasn’t worth saving.
He cast his gaze around the community, remembering how these people took him in with no thought of repayment.
They had done it because they thought it was the right thing to do.
He thought of the old man and his optimistic view of humanity, how he had died still believing in the future.
“Yeah,” Vin said with a nod, “a lot of this world is pretty bad. I can’t argue with you on that. But I don’t think it’s all bad.”
“What do you mean?” Jolon asked. “You saw what those animals did.”
“I did, and people like that need to be fought. A lot of them need to be put down,” Vin sighed and couldn’t believe what he was about to say aloud to another human being.
“But it ain’t the world that’s bad. People can be good if they have good people to look up to.
When people like Chainz and Sean and them are allowed to spread, it’s like a cancer.
They’re gonna eat up all the healthy parts of the body until there ain’t nothing left but death.
But that’s why people like you have gotta fight.
Because cancer can be beaten. Though sometimes you gotta inject a little poison into the body to do it. ”
“What do you mean?” Jolon asked.
“I’m saying we gotta bring the fight to the Chain Gang,” Vin said, his resolve hardening.
“But it ain’t just about survival anymore.
It’s about doing what’s right for the world itself.
It’s about showing people that fairness and the kinda compassion y’all practice here can go a long way. It’s about creating a better tomorrow.”
“Now, you sound like the elders,” Jolon said dismissively. He sounded almost disappointed. Clearly, he thought Vin was going to commiserate with him on the evils of this world and had this been even a few hours prior, that might have been what happened.
But Vin was seeing things differently now. “The elders got it half right,” Vin said. “And Chainz also got it half right.”
Jolon looked at Vin in confusion. “What?” he asked, completely bewildered at this out-of-place praise for their ultimate enemy.
“I don’t mean it like that,” Vin said. “I ain’t saying Chainz is a good guy. He’s an asshole and a piece of shit, and he needs to be put down. I’m saying that the kindness your people preach ain’t wrong. But neither is fighting to defend it.”
“Don’t those two things contradict one another?” Jolon asked.
“Not as much as you’d think,” Vin said, looking up into the stars. “Peace is important. So is compassion. The problem is the people in power don’t show those qualities. And they only listen to force. So, you gotta show force to knock them out and run things the way they outta be run.”
“Fighting for peace,” Jolon said with a nod.
“Yeah,” Vin replied with a shrug. “It’s something the government spouted on and on about, but they weren’t serious.
They just gave us the illusion of freedom while continuing to oppress us.
Your elders see the world as white while Chainz sees it as black…
. Hell, I used to see it as black, too. But that ain’t the case on either side.
One extreme or the other is still wrong, no matter how honorable someone’s intentions are.
The truth, the real truth that I see now, is somewhere in the middle. ”
“Shades of gray,” Jolon said with a nod, his face showing that he was taking in everything Vin was saying.
“Exactly,” Vin replied. “We gotta fight with everything we have to knock these bastards out of power. Then we gotta do things our way. We gotta take care of one another, share what we have, and work together to create an actual free and fair society.”
“While protecting what we built if it’s threatened,” Jolon said, finishing Vin’s thought.
“Exactly,” Vin replied.
“But they’re many,” Jolon said with a shake of his head. “We’re only a few.”
“Yeah, that ain’t wrong,” Vin replied. “Which means we need to fight smarter than them.”
“Fight smarter?” Jolon asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. “How do we do that?”
“I’ll show you.”