Chapter 51
Deb cursed and kicked the barn door in vain.
It wasn’t the first time she had done it, and she assumed it wouldn’t be the last time.
She had been trapped in here for several days now, and the horror at knowing she was now a prisoner on her own property was eclipsed only by the complete breakdown and betrayal of the man who she thought she had loved.
Though perhaps that was unfair to even think.
She had loved Sean. She’d loved the man he used to be before the EMP, and the fall of the world had warped him into someone who would do anything, sacrifice anything and anyone to get what he wanted.
Ultimately, that led Deb to ask herself the question, did the EMP actually change Sean, or was this side of him there all along, never actually rearing its head before because it had no reason to?
Their life on the ranch together had been blissful, with very few cares. After the heartbreak of losing Vin, watching him retreat into his own mind and leave them, Sean felt like a secure and stable partner.
She couldn’t have been that na?ve. This monster couldn’t have lurked under his kind eyes for all this time.
The world had changed and warped him. It had shifted his priorities and morals to a place she couldn’t follow, a place she couldn’t even perceive.
The fact that he had believed killing Vin would be all right in the name of her safety was proof of that.
Deb looked around the dark barn at all of the wounded ranch workers who she had been tending to throughout her incarceration here.
They had all been injured because of the Chain Gang—because of their presence on the ranch.
That meant they were all hurt because of Sean and the deal he had made.
But that deal had been made the ensure her safety.
So, did that mean all of these people were injured ultimately because of her? Was Rose dead because of her?
That sobering thought brought a quake to Deb’s limbs, and she had to sit down on the floor amidst the wounded, groaning, suffering ranch hands that surrounded her, lying on small white mats that were filthy with dirt and hay.
There were no horses in the barn for the first time ever.
They had all been taken by the Chain Gang for their big march on the reservation.
Deb felt her heart hang low at the thought of her prize animals being used to murder and obliterate an entire community of people.
Her mind then moved to Vin, to his survival against all odds.
She knew Vin would stand with the Natives.
He’d do his best to protect them against Sean and the Chain Gang.
But she knew how many soldiers Chainz had, how many disposable lives he commanded.
Could anyone, even Vin, after surviving four gunshot wounds, stand against that?
Jimmy toddled over to her on his stumpy little legs, completely unaware of the larger issues surrounding them. Deb reached out her arms and brought the baby in for a hug. He was filthy and smelled of dirt, hay, and horse manure, but so did she.
It broke Deb’s heart to see her baby reduced to this, living in a barn with her like livestock. She felt as though she had finally reached rock bottom, and it was as horrific as everyone said.
She could hear movement on the other side of the door. The world had grown quiet outside since Sean and the Chain Gang members had left to march on the reservation. The new noise of someone fiddling with the door broke the silence she had been enveloped by for nearly an hour.
It was likely someone coming with food for them. Twice a day, members of the Chain Gang would come with some old bread and water to distribute to her, Jimmy, and the five injured bodies that lay around her.
Deb hadn’t been able to eat much. Her disgust and depression had curbed her appetite. She went without to ensure Jimmy had more, but she was reaching the limits of her body now, and her stomach groaned with hunger.
Even the thought of the stale and sometimes moldy bread offered by the Chain Gang was appealing in her moment of desperate starvation. The door of the barn pulled back open, and Deb winced as the morning light cut through the dim shadows of the barn to scorch her ill-prepared retinas.
Usually, there were four members of the Chain Gang delivering the food.
Two distributed the rations, and two stood there with guns drawn, dissuading her from trying to escape.
Of course, the idea of trying to get out was laughable right now.
She felt so weak with hunger that the mere thought of running for the door and trying to shoulder past armed guards made her exhausted.
To Deb’s surprise, there was only a single silhouette standing in the doorway, a thin spot of darkness amidst an explosion of light.
“Well, hello, gorgeous,” a familiar voice said, the sound of it instantly causing Deb to clench her entire body defensively.
She instantly knew who had come to see her.
Jessie closed the barn door and advanced on her, holding a silver tray in one hand. “Aren’t you looking lovely?” she said, grimacing down at Deb to showcase the extent of her crippling sarcasm. “And what an interesting new smell you found for yourself.”
“The fuck do you want?” Deb spat, growing more and more comfortable with profanity lacing her words over time.
“Whoa, language,” Jessie said with a mocking smirk. “That’s no way to raise a growing boy.” Her eyes moved down to Jimmy, who still sat in Deb’s lap, clutching at her.
Deb felt even more defensive as Jessie’s eyes settled on her son. She remembered all too well the woman’s horrible threat against Jimmy. It was one of many such infuriating incidents that flashed through her mind throughout every minute of every day.
“You never mind him,” Deb hissed, holding Jimmy against her with all of the strength she had left.
He squirmed uncomfortably in her grip, and Deb’s arms started to shake at the exertion. She placed the baby behind her on the ground.
“All right, I understand you’re pissed at me,” Jessie said, sitting down on the floor across from them and placing the tray down between her and Deb.
“But I’m looking out for you. I mean, if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t know what a rat bastard that man of yours is.
You wouldn’t know he was lying to you. You wouldn’t know how he tried to kill your other man.
You’d still just be the happy little housewife, blissfully unaware of everything. Would you prefer that?”
Deb was silent, scanning Jessie’s face for any sign that the woman was being genuine with her.
It didn’t feel possible, though Jessie’s words were ringing true.
It was only because of her that Deb had managed to learn anything about Sean and his whole secretive life.
But she couldn’t bring herself to believe that Jessie had done this out of the kindness of her heart.
“Right,” Deb whispered, her voice weak as she glared into Jessie’s smiling eyes. “You’re just looking out for your fellow women around here, aren’t you?” Deb rolled her eyes dramatically to make her point.
“Would that be so hard to believe?” Jessie asked with a smirk.
“Yes,” was Deb’s simple reply.
“Well, that hurts,” Jessie said back to her, pressing a hand to her chest in mock distress.
“I think his lies are gross, and I wouldn’t stand for them, either.
I mean, I assumed you’d want to know. I know I would.
And I’d be grateful to the woman who exposed my husband as a lying, murderous bastard. ”
“Your man is a lying murderous bastard,” Deb shot back, and Jessie laughed.
“Yeah, but at least I know that,” she said with a snort. “I wasn’t like you, just happily tending the house while my husband was out there trying to murder people in my name.”
Deb closed her eyes and looked away. She might have started to cry if she wasn’t so dehydrated.
“I can see by the look in your eyes that I’m right and that you agree with me,” Jessie said.
“It’s all right; you don’t have to tell me.
I get how pride works. You go ahead and hold onto it.
” Jessie looked around at the dump and dismal surroundings.
“I mean, it’s about all you have left now, right? ”
“What do you want?” Deb asked, looking down and away because every second she spent looking at Jessie’s smug face made her alarmingly angry. “Did you come here just to gloat?”
“Gloat?” Jessie asked, her eyebrows crinkling in confusion. “Not at all. I came here because I heard you weren’t eating anything.” Jessie moved her hand over to the covered tray, gripped the top of the cover with her spidery fingers, and pulled it away.
The instant the cover lifted, Deb could smell the smoked meat wafting up to fill her nostrils. Her mouth watered as she stared longingly down at the plate. There was a perfectly grilled massive piece of steak sitting there, tantalizing her with its nearness and delicious aroma.
She reached out a shaking hand for it involuntarily before her brain caught up with the reflexive action. She stopped herself and looked up at Jessie.
“What is this?” she asked, her voice low and distant, as she waited to hear what the catch was in this much-needed moment.
“A steak,” Jessie said, rolling her eyes as though this were painfully obvious. “I made it myself for you. Seasoned it, grilled it, plated it, and brought it here to make sure that you’re getting that protein level up.”
“Why?” Deb asked, wanting so desperately with every cell of her body to believe this was just some random act of kindness. But logic wouldn’t allow her to even fathom the idea.
“I just told you,” Jessie said simply. “Protein.”
“What do I have to do for it?” Jessie said, wincing as though waiting for a fist to rocket out of nowhere and blast her in the face.
“Nothing,” Jessie said. “Man, you really have some trust issues, girl.”