7
EMERSYN
“Five more,” Sacha demanded.
The ground loomed in front of my face and I watched a drop of sweat land in the already small mud puddle I’d created. My arms shook and my shoulders screamed. I just wanted to collapse.
“I can’t—” I gasped.
Sacha crouched down. “What did I say about those two words?” He growled.
I groaned as I did another pushup. “Never—to say—them,” I panted.
My body burned, but I did another one, shaking profusely on the way back up.
“Five more,” Sacha said.
Damn him. I cursed him colorfully in my mind, because I knew better than to say anything out loud. Protests ended in more reps. I’d learned that the hard way. I finished the first five and started on the second, adjusting my feet in hopes it would alleviate some of the pain.
It didn’t.
“Let’s go!” Sacha barked.
For someone who didn’t talk much, he certainly had a lot to say during training sessions.
Over the past month he’d put me through a rigorous training program.
When I asked, he’d mumbled something about it being some sort of military training.
Either way, he’d been running me to my breaking point almost everyday.
As soon as I finished the last push up, I collapsed into the grass with a groan.
“Get up! Sprints to the treeline!”
I didn’t move quickly enough and his boot nudged my side. Not quite a kick, he never touched me unless he absolutely needed to, but it got me moving under threat of him adding additional workouts to an already grueling session. I struggled to my feet with a groan and took off across the meadow.
After the sprints I had a two-mile run through the forest. It followed a trail we’d started walking shortly after that night Sacha had agreed to let me stay.
It was a beautiful route through the woods that crossed two meadows and hugged the shore of the small alpine lake a few miles from the cabin.
We’d been back to the lake a few times since then when Sacha would let me tag along to check his nets, and fish along the shore.
Those were some of my favorite times even though they always made my heart hurt, as it reminded me of both my Dad and Cole.
I continually shied away from thoughts about either of them, but especially my twin brother.
Still, no matter how much I tried not to remember, it was impossible to forget.
He was a piece of me that was missing—the other half of my soul that no longer existed.
How was I supposed to move on when there was a raging hole of emptiness inside my heart that I felt every single day?
I wondered if talking about them would help, but I still hadn’t told Sacha anything about my past. He hadn’t asked—I hadn’t offered.
Our relationship wasn’t like that and I was okay with it.
For the most part, he simply focused on getting me into shape and I went along with it all without complaint.
Well, without too many complaints. My occasional outbursts of cursing never went over well, and we sometimes argued over exactly how many reps were in a set. But, it was obvious I craved structure, and eventually I knew what to expect from him and he from me.
I also couldn’t deny whatever program he had me doing was working.
I could feel myself growing stronger despite the fact that some mornings I was so sore, I limped out to help with the firewood and fell into bed at night utterly exhausted.
At least that part curbed my nightmares to a manageable level.
I finished my run back at the cabin where Sacha and Fang waited. Sacha handed me a glass of water and I slowly walked around the yard, knowing better than to collapse onto the ground right away. Sacha sat on the porch steps, cleaning and loading his rifle.
“I have to go away for a few days tomorrow,” he said.
I turned abruptly, he’d never left for longer than a day before. “Hunting?”
Sacha shook his head. “Supply run.”
“From town?”
“No. A plane drops the crates about a two-day hike from here.”
With the snow coming any day now, I’d always wondered where he got all the other stuff he needed to get himself through the winter.
“I have to take Fang with me,” Sacha continued. “Can’t bring it all back myself.”
I didn’t like that. Usually Fang stayed with me while Sacha was gone. He made me feel safe, and less alone.
“Can I come?” I asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
He looked up sharply. “I said no.”
I knew that tone well enough not to push him.
“What about the wood pile?” I asked.
“There’s enough until I get back.”
I put my hands on my hips and stared skeptically at the stacks in the workshop.
Four days would put a pretty big dent in our stores without Sacha chopping it every morning.
I had yet to touch a weapon of any sort, the ax included.
Sacha hadn’t pushed in that area, but seeing as it would now impact life around here, I wasn’t so sure that had been smart.
He saw where I was looking and stopped what he was doing.
“Don’t touch the ax,” he ordered. He stood up and loomed over me. “I mean it. While I’m gone is not the time to learn how to chop wood.”
I knew better than to argue so I nodded curtly, and resolved to try and get over my issue with weapons as soon as possible.
The next morning, I got up earlier than normal to make sure I didn’t miss his departure.
The moment I heard the creak of his door, I quickly got dressed and went into the living room.
He was busy adding a few things to his pack.
It was still dark outside, but the grey of the forest spoke of dawn not too far away.
Fang was in a frenzy and wound his way around Sacha as though he knew he was going along.
I followed them both out onto the lawn where Sacha hauled a dry-land sled from the workshop and loaded a few things onto it.
I gave Fang some last minute ear scratches—I already missed him.
Sacha clicked to him and he went and stood between the slats of the sled, patiently waiting while Sacha slipped a harness over him.
“Keep up with your workouts,” he called and turned for the trees.
I folded my arms around myself, both to ward against the chill of the morning and also the sense of ominous foreboding at being left alone.
He’d just about disappeared into the forest when I blurted out; “Be safe!”
The urge to run after him was very strong, and I realized I’d grown quite attached to both of them in a short amount of time.
The idea gnawed at me. The last time I’d left people I cared about alone, they’d been murdered.
I stood on the steps long after he and Fang disappeared, until the yard lightened and the morning birds were well into their morning symphonies.
Going from being nearly completely solitary in the library, to this, I realized how much I had come to depend on Sacha and Fang’s company, and how much I enjoyed not being alone.
My throat thickened, but instead of crying, I went back inside to start my morning.
Without wood to stack, I went straight into my workout and completed it well before lunch.
Then I swam in the river and dried off in the sun, lying on my favorite rock.
When I got hungry, I ventured inside and put together something to eat.
Despite my activities, the afternoon dragged on. I tried to read but I couldn’t pay attention, and as soon as I had to re-read a page three times, I tossed aside the book and sighed—this was going to be a long four days.