34 Liam
It has been a few days since I went to see Jessica; the feeling of being watched the other day keeps coming to mind.
Just to be sure, I have made it a point to stay away for now.
I suspect they know, but I can’t be sure until I have some evidence.
I am just playing it safe until then, because risking her life is the last thing I want—or need—right now.
Nathan has been irritated about something, barely speaking to me.
Mike, on the other hand, is being exceptionally chatty about everything, in a great mood for someone who killed his biological mother a week ago.
Both men are acting weird, to say the least. I don’t know how to make sense of everything that is currently happening.
Either way, I am not risking Jessica’s life just because she happened to get my attention.
I know we should leave this town. We should have left a while ago. We have reached the limit, and the way Mike buried Mary was risky enough that we should have been on the road days ago—far away from here. Yet my stupid obsession with Jessica has us firmly planted in this town, risking everything.
I can’t even justify my actions. I am usually the one who takes care of things like that. I am the one responsible for our safety. Is she worthy of throwing everything away? I wonder.
She would probably be terrified if she knew what I am.
A monster. Someone who preys upon women.
I am not a safe person for her to be around.
She should be terrified of me, not letting me sneak into her bedroom at night and fuck her senseless.
If she knew how much pain and suffering we have caused in the past few years...
I am pretty sure she has seen her fair share of darkness, but nothing can compare with what we are.
She would run away from me if she knew. I know this.
So why do I risk everything for a woman who wouldn’t even want the real me?
I am obsessed with that woman; I have no idea why.
She is beautiful, sure, but that alone doesn’t really explain why I am willing to go behind everyone’s back in order to steal a few moments with her.
It’s not only my life I am risking. It’s my brother’s and my best friend’s. I am risking everyone’s freedom.
I am risking everything by getting close to her.
Instead of avoiding getting caught by remaining unseen, I am doing the exact opposite.
I can usually achieve that while still maintaining my usual routine of coffee and people-watching in various diners, but I never break rules like this.
I never go against the things I preach about.
It won’t be long before someone notices me; rumors will start, and people will gossip.
When we eventually leave and they discover the first body—or make the connection about the five women who vanished into thin air—they might think about the tall guy with dark hair who was fucking the waitress on her breaks, day by day.
I am sure someone has noticed that. People aren’t as stupid as we like to believe.
Just because they are pretending not to notice something doesn’t mean they truly aren't.
I need to stop seeing her, but I am pretty sure this is beyond my control. She is addictive in every sense. She will be the one to send me to hell. I am fully aware of it, yet I still can't seem to stay away.
For now, though, I am forced to do exactly that.
Especially since, apparently, tonight we are going to hunt.
The guys handled everything this time themselves, and I would object, but it’s not like it can go worse than it has already for this town.
So for once, I let them do whatever they want.
Maybe my obsession with Jessica has affected me more than I thought.
I have been a little too careless than I should be.