Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Maisy
My heart was pounding so rapidly in my chest that I wondered if Tangaloa could feel it.
I didn’t know what was going through his head right now, his dark eyes narrowed like he was concentrating on something.
His hold on me did not lessen, which was good, because my feet were currently dangling about a foot off the hardwood floor.
I probably should have waited until I was standing on my own to drop my bombshell, but honestly, I was sick of being interrupted, ignored, or—
No, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t like I’d made that big of an effort to tell Tangaloa before this. I allowed him to convince me that my past did not matter when I knew that it did. What I was sick of was being a coward, of being scared of my own shadow.
Slowly, Tangaloa lowered me to my feet. The sundress I was wearing rode up as he slid me down his front, but I was too preoccupied with watching his expression to fix it.
He was so big, a mammoth compared to me.
Yet, I had never been afraid of him like I had been of Mr. Dalt—darn. I meant, That Bastard.
I certainly wasn’t going to call him “my husband”.
In the three months since my daughter and I had been rescued, I’d learned a lot about the modern world I’d been sheltered from. Three months ago, I would never have risked having this conversation. But now… Well, there was no denying it was very overdue.
I opened my mouth to continue speaking, but he held up his hand. It wasn’t a demand, not the way That Bastard would have commanded. “Women are silent unless directly spoken to.” It was one of his many, many rules.
Tangaloa’s hand was a request for silence, a plea.
He wasn’t ready to speak or be spoken to yet, but it was my choice if I respected it.
Which I did, because it was my choice. Maybe it didn’t seem like that big of a deal to someone who had grown up with them, who had lived their childhood, teen, and adult years making everyday choices, some even subconsciously, but to me any choice was a big deal.
And I loved that he let me make them. To explore what I wanted. He taught me that it was okay to be selfish.
“Where’s Samantha?”
The fact that that was his first question out of his mouth only resonated what a great father I knew he’d make.
I swallowed nervously. “When I heard you inside Aloiki’s room this morning, I knew I had to wait for you. I asked Saga and Tick to take her out for the day so we could talk privately. The twins overheard about taking her to the park and decided they wanted to go too.”
I still wasn’t comfortable around the twins.
It wasn’t that I thought they would hurt me or Samantha—or I’d never let my daughter anywhere near them.
There was something about the way they clung to each other, something that told me they’d been hurt in the past and would do anything to prevent that hurt again in the future.
Being around them was hard, because it was a constant reminder of my own trauma.
But Samantha loved them, called them her kagami, her mirrors. I did not see a harm in letting them tag along for her day at the park. And it added to the number of protectors she had with her.
Tangaloa nodded once. He took my hand, leading me back up the stairs he’d just descended. I was not so nervous that I didn’t realize he’d laced our fingers together.
He paused when the door to our bedroom opened right away. “You didn’t lock it?”
I shook my head. “I kept hoping you’d come back, and I wanted to keep it open for you.” My cheeks heated at my confession.
Tangaloa stared down at me for several heartbeats, but I refused to look away. I was done cowering. Seeing him arrive and leave the wedding with his ex-wife drove home the need for me to stop hiding. I wanted to be selfish for him.
If he forgave me.
He pulled me into our bedroom, swinging around to close the door behind us. “You told me that Jones’ wife was dead.”
I took a shaky breath before admitting, “I lied.”
When Tangaloa rubbed a hand down his face, I took a hard look at him, and frowned. I did not like what I was seeing. He wore only a sarong around his hips, which appeared fresh, but he did not. There were dark bags under his eyes, and his shoulders sagged in a way that told me he was exhausted.
“Are you okay?” I asked before he could respond to my confession. “You don’t look well.”
The laugh that came out of him was cynical at best. “I will be after I get some sleep.” He lifted his hand to run the back of his fingers down my cheek.
I shivered, feeling both hot and cold at the action.
“Probably one of the only reasons I’m not raging right now at what you just told me.
I’ve dreamed of you being of legal age for so long that I’m not entirely sure this isn’t another dream. ”
I winced. Well, my timing certainly could have been better. “It’s real,” I said, my eyes on our feet. “And I owe you a long explanation, but I understand if you need to get some sleep first.”
I felt his hand below my chin before he gently guided my head up to look into his eyes.
“I have a lot I have to tell you too. But I don’t want to say or do anything I’ll regret because I’m too exhausted to comprehend everything properly.
So let’s call a timeout, please. I just have one question for you. ”
I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or not at the delay, but I did appreciate his desire to be awake enough for this conversation. “What’s that?” I asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me when we first met?”
At least that was an easy answer, although that meant they would only get harder from here. “You were a stranger. I didn’t know if I could trust you.”
“And you trust me now?” he inquired, his hand still under my chin.
I did not point out that that was more than one question. I nodded, declaring, “With my life.”
Tangaloa ducked his head, pressing his lips to mine. He was the first man I’d ever kissed, and I wanted so desperately for him to be my last. “Take a nap with me?”
I was nodding before his question was completely out of his mouth.
He led me over to the bed I’d been sharing with Samantha for the past three months.
Pulling back the covers, he gestured for me to get in.
Before that night last month when he’d slept with a pillow wall between us, I’d never fallen asleep with a man in my bed.
Given my past, I thought I’d be terrified about the concept, but I wasn’t.
It had been the best night’s sleep of my life.
Including my first night in this bed, my first night free.
I wondered at first if he was going to rebuild the pillow wall, but then he slid in right behind me, pulling me against his large body and wrapping his arm around my middle.
Feeling his massive frame at my back should have terrified me.
Instead, I scooted myself further into his warm embrace, hoping he’d hold me tighter.
Tangaloa settled his head against mine, his chin on my shoulder. “Don’t think I’m not pissed about this,” he said low into my ear. “I just don’t have the energy to show it right now.”
“I know,” I muttered back, the sudden need to cry clogging my throat. “And I understand if you can never forgive me.”
“Shhh…” he encouraged. “Not now. Just let me have this. We can talk when we wake up in a few hours, but for now, just let me hold you.”
I bit my tongue and nodded, not realizing how much I needed this until this very moment. A part of me hoped we never woke up.
“I was five years old the first time I met Mr. D—I mean, That Bastard. I didn’t know why he was at my house.
I wouldn’t have even remembered him, except I spilled my juice.
That Bastard pulled my panties down right there in front of my parents and spanked me.
” I did not mention that the blows had been hard enough that I could barely sit down for a week afterwards.
I did not want him to pity me, only understand my decisions.
We’d slept longer than intended, leading to Samantha’s very first sleepover away from me.
Apparently the twins had pet snakes, which fascinated her.
I wasn’t thrilled about that, but she was safe, entertained, and well-looked after.
I couldn’t argue with that when neither Tangaloa nor I could watch her right now.
Not if either of us hoped to get through this conversation anytime soon.
After running downstairs to get us some food, Tangaloa and I were now sitting cross-legged across from each other on the bed. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the concept of eating in bed, but I couldn’t argue with the comfort factor.
Tangaloa paused with his cucumber slice partway to his mouth. He’d grabbed cucumber slices, cream cheese, smoked salmon, and crackers. Even pissed—his word, not mine—he was still looking out for me. That Bastard would never.
“He what? And your parents didn’t stop him?”
I shook my head. “I remember begging him to stop, crying out for my parents, but the more I cried, the harder he struck me. I am not sure what lesson he was trying to instill upon me or my parents that day, and knowing what I know now about how he believed children should be raised, it could have been a number of things.”
Tangaloa scowled. “I already knew I was going to kill your parents one day, but now I’m going to draw it out. Make it extra painful.”
I was pretty sure there was something wrong with me that I didn’t argue with him or plead for my parents’ lives. I already knew that Tangaloa, Aloiki, and the others had murdered That Bastard, but I didn’t know those details. Wasn’t sure I wanted to.
He pointed to my plate. “Eat and talk or eat and then talk, but either way, you’re going to eat that.”