Chapter 27. TOO MANY SECRETS
(Sienna)
We spent the rest of the evening discussing what I should say when confronting Professor Reed. Part of me wanted to storm into his office and challenge him about not revealing his connection to my father, but Ander was right. If I approached him too aggressively, there was a chance he would shut down and refuse to share any information at all.
“I’m tired, guys. I’m going to bed,” I announced, standing up from the kitchen stool.
“Can I have a word with you, Sienna?” Noah asked before I had a chance to leave the room. “In private.” Noah followed me to my room and closed the door behind him. He stood there, arms crossed over his chest, while I sat at the end of my bed, nervously patting my hands on my legs. I had a feeling about what he wanted to talk about, but I kept quiet and gave him a moment to gather his thoughts.
“I just wanted to tell you that I had a chat with Zayn, and we’ve cleared the air between us. So it’s all good.”
The last thing I wanted was to cause any bad blood between Zayn and Noah, so part of me was glad things were right again between them.
“I’m happy to hear that.”
Noah uncrossed his arms and closed the distance between us as he sat beside me. I averted my gaze to my hands, idly toying with the hem of my dress. He lifted his right hand and locked my hair behind my ear. The contact made my skin burn. Noah noticed the blush creeping into my cheeks and softly chuckled.
“Noah…” I breathed while turning to face him. “I know you and Zayn want an answer from me, but I’m not ready to give you one yet. Honestly, you know how much I like you, but choosing you means losing Zayn, and I don’t want that. I know I’m very selfish for wanting you both, but I’m trying to be honest. Sorry if my indecision hurts you both. It’s not intentional; that is why I haven’t decided yet, and I don’t know if I can make one. I don’t want to hurt any of you.”
Noah kept quiet for a few seconds before he spoke. “I know…we’ll give you more space if that’s what you want. I just wanted to tell you that I haven’t changed my mind. I want you, Sienna. Badly. You’re incredible. You’re smart, funny, sweet, and fucking gorgeous. Believe me when I say all I want right now is to rip off your clothes and fuck you right here, but I’ll hold myself back from doing anything stupid like kissing you.”
Noah dropped his gaze to my lips.
I wanted him. But I also wanted Zayn. “Thank you for understanding, Noah.”
“Good night, princess.” Noah kissed my cheek before he left my room. That night, I dreamed about Zayn and Noah and how good it would feel if I could have them both.
* * *
I found myself rooted in front of Professor Reed’s office, my gaze tilting upward to the ceiling. My heart raced, and my palms felt clammy as I gathered the courage to knock on his door. After a deep, steadying breath, I turned my attention back to the door, raising my hand to deliver two hesitant knocks.
“Yes? Please come in.” He seemed surprised to see me. I closed the door and stood at the entrance of his office. “What a nice surprise. Please sit. What can I do for you?” he asked, waving his hands toward one of the chairs.
“I don’t know where to start, so I guess I’ll just let it out.”
Professor Reed arched a single eyebrow, evidently caught off guard by my statement.
“Why didn’t you say you worked for my father?”
He reclined back on his chair, linking his hands together in front of him.
“I didn’t think it mattered. Why do you ask?” His face showed no expression.
“I came across some documents, and your name was on one of them.” I didn’t want to mention what kind of documents, at least not until I had a chance to speak with Peter and Michael.
“Well, yes. I worked at Cos Pharmaceuticals for several years, but they made my team redundant, so I took the opportunity for a career change.” I could sense he wasn’t telling me everything, so I tried pulling more answers from him.
“Redundant? Why?” I asked.
“Budget restrictions, I guess. They said they had to size down the R&D department, so I was let go.”
“You could have said something when you realized who I was. Why didn’t you?” Professor Reed looked to his left and took a long breath before responding.
“I thought you might be tired of hearing everyone expressing their condolences, and I didn’t want to contribute to that weight by sharing mine. It didn’t seem necessary.” There was a long silence before he continued talking, not so subtly changing the subject. “Have you heard from the police department?”
I briefed him on the most recent developments in the investigation. Officer Johnson, the investigator assigned to my case, had made some headway, although everything at this point was still speculative.
“I hope they catch the culprit soon. I don’t want one of my best students getting distracted or worse.”
“I hope so, too. Anyway, thanks for your time, Professor.”
“No need to thank me. My door is always open for you.”
I walked out of his office with a weird feeling. Chatting with him stirred up bitter memories from last summer and the struggle to keep moving forward. I wanted to make the right call about William Scott, and my gut told me there might be more to his sudden interest in the company. So I was determined to dig deeper and figure things out before making my decision. Maybe he had some leverage, which was why he held those confidential documents. It would be easier if he’d just come clean about why he left the company, but when it came to Mr. Scott, simplicity was never part of the equation.
* * *
“Hi, Peter. Hi, Michael. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.”
After I left Professor Reed’s office last week, I emailed the CFO and COO at Cos Pharmaceuticals to schedule a meeting. I was sitting in Zayn and Ander’s living room with my laptop in front of me, my screen displaying two exhausted faces on Zoom.
“Hi, Sienna. Gosh, you’ve grown up!” Michael exclaimed. “I’m glad to hear from you. Peter here has told me you’re now in college. Congratulations on being accepted at Stanford. Your father would be very proud.”
My stomach churned at the mention of my dad, but I managed to push down the bitter taste rising in my mouth and forced a hesitant smile.
“Thank you for your kind words, Michael,” I responded.
“You didn’t say much in your email. What is it you wanted to talk about?” Peter was always straight to the point, and I really appreciated it this time. I had no desire to give Michael yet another opportunity to offer his condolences. His sympathy had already been abundantly shared during the funeral, and I was eager to avoid revisiting that day.
“Yes. So…okay. I stumbled upon a set of documents that reference extra budget allocations for five R&D projects, all of which were approved by my father. Strangely, these particular projects weren’t included in the summarized report, which accounted for all of the therapies in our R&D pipeline. Can you send me further details on these? I’ll share their INNs and project codes with you to make them easier to identify. I’ve pasted the info in the chat.”
A couple of minutes later, Peter broke the silence. “Where did you find these documents?” His tone was sharp.
“It doesn’t matter. Do you know something about it?” Both men were clearly uncomfortable with my inquiry.
“Has William said anything to you?” The mere mention of his name sent shivers down my spine.
“Peter. I won’t ask you again. Do YOU know something about this?”
He paused for a moment before Michael jumped into the conversation.
“Tell her, Peter. She needs to know, especially since William expressed his interest in re-joining the company.”
Michael’s words caught me by surprise, yet I remained silent and tried looking indifferent to their words. They clearly knew something I didn’t. Whatever it was, it seemed troubling enough to worry them. I tried to pull my best I-already-know face so they would continue talking.
With a heavy sigh, Peter said, “Six years ago, Michael found several discrepancies in some of our monthly financial reports. When he raised his concerns with your father and William, your father brushed it off and requested him to keep it under wraps. Just to clarify, these reports indicated that substantial sums of money that were originally designated for specific R&D projects had been redirected to an offshore account. A few weeks later, William handed in his resignation. When I confronted William, he didn’t say much. He just said that he had a disagreement with your father and didn’t wish to continue working with him. About a week later, your father made a considerable contribution, covering the missing amount from our accounts, and did so as a silent investor. He also made it clear that we were to keep all this information to ourselves.”
“What are you implying?” My head spun with the information as I tried to piece everything together.
“Sienna, your father was the signatory of those documents. I suppose William confronted him about it. From what William told me a few weeks back when he proposed his candidacy, it looked like they had a heated argument, which ultimately led to his departure from the company. Michael attempted to persuade me that the right course of action was to involve the authorities and report the embezzlement of private funds. However, having known your father for a considerable period of time, I couldn’t bring myself to believe he would engage in such conduct. Since the money was eventually returned, I managed to convince Michael that the best approach was to write it off and move forward, hoping this information wouldn’t come out. Cos Pharmaceuticals helps millions of patients with their drug developments. Calling the authorities would have meant dissolving the company, damaging the trust of health authorities worldwide, or causing significant delays in bringing new therapies to the market.”
A wave of dread washed over me. Peter’s words were like a punch in the gut, and I struggled to come to terms with them. I didn’t want to accept the idea that my dad could be involved in something so terrible, but there was a strange logic to it. William’s abrupt departure from the company and the ensuing fallout, which resulted in my dad forbidding me from seeing Ander, had always puzzled me. What if my dad wasn’t the one who didn’t want me to see Ander? What if William asked my father to distance himself from their family due to his actions? My mind swirled with questions, and I felt overwhelmed, not knowing where to begin seeking answers.
“Anyway, after we announced your new position as the major shareholder, William approached us and expressed his interest in being considered for the CEO position.”
I hesitated, but I needed to know.
“Are you implying that he may have evidence and is leveraging it to secure his return to the company?” I asked.
“I can’t say with absolute certainty. He hasn’t brought it up, but the timing definitely raises some suspicions,” Peter remarked.
He was spot-on. Why now? I asked myself. After all, my dad’s passing might have created an opportunity for him.
All these secrets, all this lying—it was really getting to me. Being left in the dark about something so big was just infuriating. My dad could’ve easily fed me some excuse, but instead, he chose silence and cut off all contact with Ander. And my mom? She just went along with it, with no sympathy whatsoever, especially after all those months of me pouring my heart out to her about Ander not replying to my letters. Peter should’ve filled me in on this as soon as I took over the company and William... William and his damn schemes.
Just give me a fucking break.
“Peter, tell Mr. Scott to come to our offices. Give him some dates and time slots, and I’ll be there. I’ll only give you an answer after I’ve confronted him. I wanna see if he’s playing us. Let’s hope he’s honest with me. Otherwise, he can go and fuck himself. I don’t want any more secrets. And that applies to the both of you, too.” With that statement, I ended the call.
I rose abruptly from my chair, my hand instinctively reaching for the flower vase on the table before me. Without much thought, I threw it forcefully against the wall just as Ander entered the apartment. The crash echoed through the room, mirroring the surge of emotions I could no longer contain. I collapsed onto the floor, a torrent of tears streaming down my cheeks. Ander crossed the room in a few strides and knelt in front of me. He grasped my shoulders and pulled me into a close, comforting hug.
“What’s wrong?” His words came in a gentle, caring tone. I tried talking between sobs, but the anger and disappointment were too strong for my words to make any sense. Ander lifted me and walked me to the couch. He held me without saying anything while my tears left a trail of black mascara on his T-shirt.
“I’m so sorry, Ander,” I blurted.
“Don’t worry about the vase,” he responded, gently stroking my hair.
“No, I don’t mean the vase. I’m so sorry. About everything. It’s all my family’s fault.” I couldn’t stand it. Because of my dad, Ander and I never talked to each other again. He was the reason his father hated me so much, to the point of intercepting my letters.
“What do you mean?”
“I just spoke with Peter and Michael, the COO and CFO at Cos Pharma.” I paused, attempting to stifle my sobs. “They told me that my dad might have redirected specific R&D funds into an offshore account by fabricating certain documents.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know. I suspect your father confronted mine and left the company to avoid being involved in any scandal. I believe that’s why my dad forbade me from seeing you and sent me off to Europe.”
“Fuck. I guess it makes sense.”
“What makes sense?” I asked.
“What my dad told you on Thanksgiving. That he didn’t want to taint the memory of your father with stories from the past.”
“I’m so sorry,” I repeated between sobs.
I felt utterly drained. Everything came crashing upon me. My parents’ death, moving to a different state, the fraud, my mixed feelings for Zayn and Noah, the regret of losing Ander…it was all too much.
I nestled into his embrace but continued to cry until my sobs gradually subsided, and the world around me faded into darkness.
* * *
When I opened my eyes, I was welcomed with more darkness. The moonlight through the window was the only thing shedding any light. I glanced around briefly without moving. Somehow, in my sleep, Ander and I had shifted, and we were both now lying on the couch, my body pressed to his side and my head nestled between his neck and chest. His smell was captivating and masculine, with earthy and citrus notes. I could feel his breathing on my temple and the rise and fall of his chest with my hand. His right arm was around my back, and his hand gently rested on my hip. I can’t remember the last time someone held me like this. It felt… safe .
After a few minutes of savoring this peaceful moment, Ander broke the silence.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Honestly? I don’t know.” My head was still resting on his shoulder, and I tried my best to avoid looking at him. I was hurt and embarrassed. It was hard to digest that my dad’s actions had pushed Ander’s father to leave the company he helped build. I was furious and disappointed. “I’m so sorry, Ander. If it wasn’t for my father…” Before I was able to finish my sentence, Ander grabbed my chin and lifted my face toward his.
“You don’t have to apologize for your father’s mistakes.”
“It’s just… I wish I could go back in time. I wish I’d made different choices and tried harder to stay in touch with you. It’s not just my father’s fault that I lost you,” I said with a hint of regret in my voice. Ander remained silent, his eyes scanning my face as his hand cradled my cheek and his thumb gently brushed against it.
“I’m here. You never truly lost me.” Ander leaned closer, his lips brushing mine tentatively. It was a gentle kiss, like the one we once shared surrounded by trees. But my emotions were heightened, and all I wanted was to be consumed by his kiss.
As if hearing my thoughts, he parted his lips and softly trailed his tongue along my lower lip, eliciting a moan from me. I opened my mouth, delicately meeting his tongue with mine. Ander groaned, igniting a surge of lust in my chest that traveled to the apex of my thighs. He deepened the kiss. It was unhurried but passionate. Our tongues danced together as my lips sensually moved against his. Grabbing a handful of his dark blond hair, I got lost in the moment, only to be interrupted a few seconds later by the jingling of keys at the front door.
I abruptly ended the kiss, my heart still pounding in my chest as a surge of anxiety washed over me at the thought of Zayn catching us. I quickly stood and ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind me and pressing my back against it. I could hear them talking, but I stayed hidden until a soft knock on the door startled me.
“Are you okay, Sienna?” Ander’s worried voice reached my ears.
“Yes. I’m okay. I just need a minute.” I walked toward the bathroom sink, placed both hands on the marble counter, and tried to calm my breathing. As if things weren’t complicated enough after hooking up with both Noah and Zayn, that kiss only added to the confusion.
What the hell were you thinking?
I cautiously cracked open the bathroom door to see if anyone was outside, then ran to my room. Quickly grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I unplugged it from the charger and opened a new message.
Me
SOS. SOS. SOS.
Maggie
What’s wrong?
Me
I fucked up.
Maggie
I’m calling you.
Me
No. I can’t talk right now. OMG. Ander and I just kissed!!!! What do I do????
Maggie
WTF?!! When? How? Is he a good kisser? Shall I come over?
Me
No, please. Let’s meet tomorrow morning for coffee. I’ll tell you everything.
Maggie
*Thumbs-up emoji*. Starbucks at 9?
Me
See u there.
I stayed in my room for the rest of the evening although I knew I would eventually need to confront Ander.
We shouldn’t have kissed, and that thought troubled me. As much as I wanted to erase what had just happened between us, all I could think about was how much I wanted to do it again.