Chapter 30. HOE HOE HOE! MERRY CHRISTMAS
(Sienna)
“Do you think the massive house is a juxtaposition to his small dick?”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as Maggie and I got out of the Uber that had just brought us to Scott Manor.
“I need you on your best behavior, Maggie, so please, hold your tongue. I know you have a dark humor, but these people don’t know you like I do.”
Maggie put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.
“Jesus, take a chill pill. I was joking.” She paused. “He clearly has a small dick.”
We walked toward the main door with our luggage. I wasn’t sure what to bring or how many options were considered acceptable. Maggie had it easy; she only had to place everything back into her suitcase and zip it shut. As for me, I spent the entire morning going through my walk-in closet, trying to figure out what to pack. I needed to pack both formal and casual clothing, including an evening gown for the New Year’s Eve gala. Maggie borrowed one of my dresses. She didn’t care that it was a bit short for her. In fact, she saw it as the ideal opportunity to borrow a pair of Louboutin from my collection and show them off.
“I think I brought too many things. Ander and Zayn will think I’m moving in with their parents.” I was panicking. I ended up bringing a big suitcase, a small suitcase, and my large Dior book tote bag. I knew it was too much, but a girl needed options.
A few seconds after I pressed the ring bell, the door opened, and a man with silver hair and a strong build—probably in his fifties—greeted us.
“Good afternoon,” the man said. “You must be Miss Moore. Please, come in. Mr. Scott mentioned we were expecting you. I’m Gordon, the butler. May I have your coats and your luggage?”
“They have a butler?” Maggie whispered so I could only hear her.
“Thank you, Gordon. Yes, and please call me Sienna. This is Maggie Towerby, a friend from college.”
“Welcome, miss. Mr. Scott requested that I escort you to your rooms and allow you time to relax. Dinner will be served at seven o’clock. Please allow me to guide you to your accommodations.” Gordon indicated that we should leave our luggage downstairs, reassuring us that he would promptly bring our belongings up once we settled into our rooms.
“Are Ander and Zayn at home?” I asked him while he guided us to the upper level.
“Yes, they are home. I believe Mr. Scott is in his room, but Mr. Siegel left not long ago to buy some last-minute presents in the city.”
I was nervous to see Ander. We hadn’t spoken since my meeting with his father at our offices, and I wasn’t sure if he knew I’d offered him the CEO position in the company.
I was assigned the same room I’d been in when I came during Thanksgiving, so as soon as Gordon left to show Maggie where she would sleep for the next few days, I walked out of my room and crossed the hallway to Ander’s door. I could hear the creak of his bed.
I knocked on the door twice.
The first thing I noticed when the door swung open was a shirtless Ander. My eyes traveled down his chest toward his perfectly sculpted abs and stopped at the delicious happy trail between his stomach and the hem of his sweatpants. I probably spent too many seconds ogling him, only to be disturbed when the sound of him clearing his throat reached my ears.
“Are you checking me out?”
I could feel the heat spreading through my face. I dropped my eyes so he wouldn’t realize how flustered I was. Since our kiss, things had been a bit awkward between us.
“I just wanted to say hi. Hi.”
Seriously, Sienna? Hi?
“Can I talk to you for a sec?” I timidly asked.
“Sure, come in.” I crossed the threshold, and Ander shut the door behind me. I walked toward the window and turned around to face him.
“Have you talked to your father?”
Ander walked to a chest of drawers against the wall on the opposite side of the room and pulled a white T-shirt with long sleeves out of one of the drawers. I was disappointed, not going to lie. I would have preferred it if he had remained shirtless. He was nice to look at.
“Yes, I did. He mentioned you’ve agreed to give him the position. What made you change your mind?”
I noticed some hesitation in his tone and wondered if he disapproved of my decision.
“Everyone deserves a second chance, and he confirmed everything Michael and Peter said. I have no reason to think he has ulterior motives.”
“My father always has ulterior motives, Sienna. Trust me.”
My eyes followed the stack of books and movies lining one of his walls. I recognized some of them from the countless hours I spent at Scott’s residence as a child. One piqued my curiosity, so I picked up the DVD from one of the shelves— Mean Girls .
“You were obsessed with that movie. I still remember how you wouldn’t stop using the sentence ‘that’s so fetch’ for a full month. You bugged me all the time.”
I burst out laughing.
“That’s why you liked calling me bug .” I sighed. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“I remember everything, bug .”
“Do you remember what you said in those letters you wrote to me?” I asked.
“Sienna…” He stood behind me while my fingers traced the DVD cover in an attempt to avoid looking at him.
“I want to know, please,” I insisted. I needed to know.
He sighed.
“I would write about my days here, in Rye. About how much I fucking missed you. About the last time I saw you.”
The day we kissed.
I turned to face him. He was looking down at me. His eyes were full of something—sadness…maybe regret.
“If you’d known that we wouldn’t see each other again for six years, would you have made a different choice that day?” My dad used to say that you shouldn’t ask questions if the truth was too hard to handle, and I was terrified of hearing something that would break my heart all over again. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that question out loud.
“Yes.”
I could hear my heart shattering into pieces. Sensing my discomfort, Ander lifted his hand, held my face gently, and said, “If I could go back, I wouldn’t let you get on that bus.”
Ander’s mouth was suddenly on mine. This time, his kiss was not gentle like the other day at his apartment. He shoved me into the bookshelves, and I let out a sharp hiss as pain shot through my spine from the force with which he slammed me against it. I was too turned on to care. I dropped the DVD with the impact. I grabbed his T-shirt with my hands, pulling him as close to me as possible while both of his hands grabbed my face. Every corner of my skin burned with need. And I needed him. I wanted him to touch me everywhere, to feel his body on mine.
I could feel his erection pressed against my lower stomach, and my body instinctively began to move, searching for any form of friction or relief from the deep ache I felt within me.
“Fuck, Sienna. You drive me crazy,” he said between kisses.
“I hope it is a good kind of crazy.”
Ander lifted me and guided me to circle my legs around his waist. His hands pressed my body against his, his hard length rubbing against the thin fabric of my leggings and thong. I locked my ankles behind him to push him closer, and Ander made a deep, growling sound that mirrored the moan that escaped my lips. One of his hands traveled underneath my sweater until his fingers pinched my nipple.
“Oh my God,” I cried out. My head fell back, and I arched my back when he deliberately did it again. My underwear was soaked, and he had barely touched me.
Ander moved us toward his bed and laid me on my back as he climbed on top of me. We stayed in the same position, but he lifted my sweater and the top I wore until he could access my red bra. He pushed it down, not caring about unclasping it, and brought his mouth to one of my breasts. The heat of his mouth, the wetness of his tongue…he licked my nipple and sucked it in such a delicious way that my body began to tremble. He moved to my other breast, but this time, his right hand moved inside my leggings until he pushed his middle finger between my folds.
“Fuck,” he breathed as he sucked my other nipple again. “You’re soaked, Sienna.”
“Please,” I begged as I ran my fingers through his soft hair.
“Tell me what you want, love.”
“I want you, Ander. I need you inside me.”
Someone suddenly knocked on the door three times. Ander quickly removed his hand from my throbbing pussy and covered my chest with my sweater. He was clearly concerned that someone could burst into the room and find me half naked.
On the contrary, I was furious.
“Ander, your butler said this is your room. Sorry to bother you, but have you seen Sienna? She’s not in her room.”
Fucking Maggie…
Ander looked at me, leaving it up to me to decide whether I wanted to respond.
“Yes, Maggie. I’m here. Give me a minute. I need to finish my conversation with Ander. I’ll be in your room in five.” I couldn’t hear Maggie’s footsteps walking away from Ander’s bedroom door, so I held off for a few seconds before saying anything to Ander.
I softly kissed him after I put my bra back in place.
“I need to go,” I said.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He looked remorseful. I knew he was referring to my Zayn and Noah predicament, but I didn’t want Ander to feel guilty for his actions. I had also displayed a lack of self-control, so we were both responsible for what had happened. And I knew I should feel guilty for adding an extra layer of complication to my life, but with Ander, whatever was happening between us felt right. Deep down, as much as I wanted to brush my feelings for him aside, I knew this would eventually happen, especially after the moment we shared at his apartment.
“Don’t. Please don’t ruin it. I enjoyed every second of it, Ander.” I tenderly caressed his cheek, locking my gaze with his. I could easily get lost in the depths of his blue eyes.
“I understand you have feelings for Zayn and Noah, but it’s just… I can’t help it. Every moment I’m near you, I want to kiss you, to feel you. I probably shouldn’t be saying this, especially since Zayn and Noah are my closest friends. And it’s even more complicated since Zayn will soon become my stepbrother.”
His declaration caused my heart to skip a beat. I couldn’t count the nights I’d yearned to hear those words from him or how many times I had cried myself to sleep in Sarah’s dorm, missing him. He once was my best friend, my first kiss, but then we became strangers. And now, he was right here, standing in front of me. Zayn and Noah were also present, not physically in the room but occupying my thoughts. The whole situation was messed up. It felt like my heart was splitting into three pieces, and I had no idea how to prevent them from tearing it apart completely.
“Every time something big happened to me, like when I got into Stanford, I wanted to tell you about it. After all these years, I still felt your absence in my life. I’m not sure what the future holds, but one thing is certain: I want you to be a part of it, no matter what,” I confessed.
Ander kissed me once more. I couldn’t get enough of his kisses.
We stood at his door, my hand on the doorknob.
“Let’s enjoy Christmas for now. Noah’s coming on the 27th to spend a few days with us, so maybe all of us can talk and figure things out,” he suggested. “See you at dinner?”
“Yes. I’ll see you at dinner.” I leaned in and gently kissed his lips before making my way to Maggie’s room.
I didn’t even have a chance to knock before Maggie swung the door open, her grin stretching from ear to ear, much like the Grinch.
“Well, well, well. Or should I say Hoe Hoe Hoe, Merry Christmas? It only took you, what, thirty minutes? I bet on before midnight, but I underestimated you.”
My cheeks turned red, and I felt the heat radiating across my face.
“Shut up, Maggie.”
“Oh baby,” she said with a smirk. “You know I won’t.”
* * *
“Tell me. What’s the deal with the three musketeers?”
We still had a couple of hours until we had to get ready for dinner, so Maggie and I reclined on the bed, resting on our sides and facing each other. I placed one hand underneath my cheek and sighed.
“This is a mess. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t be pining for three men, especially when they are best friends. What does this situation say about me?” Maggie went to open her mouth, and I stopped her. “You know what? Don’t tell me. I have an idea of what you must think about me…”
“No, you don’t,” she retorted. “You’re human, and I don’t believe in soulmates. I know you like all three of them for very different reasons. I’m not going to judge you, and you know it.” Her words gave me some level of reassurance. “In fact,” she continued, “I kind of admire you. I wished I had the same confidence to be so open about my sexuality, but…” Her expression turned somber.
“But what?” I pushed her.
“This conversation is too heavy for my liking.”
I wondered what could have possibly happened to Maggie and why she wanted to cut the conversation short. Was she bullied in high school? Did someone mine her confidence when it came to sex?
“You know you can tell me anything. It’ll stay between us, I promise.”
She paused momentarily, contemplating whether she wanted to open up to me. Then she rolled onto her back, her eyes fixed on the ceiling and her lips forming a thin line.
“I want to share a story with you, but I need you to promise me that you won’t breathe a word of it to anyone, especially not the guys. I don’t want them to see me as a broken toy.”
Her statement left me feeling uneasy.
“My dad, Robert, took care of me after my mother passed away following her two-year battle with breast cancer. My dad had a good job. He worked in research; that’s one of the reasons I took an interest in science, but the money we had barely covered the mortgage, my school expenses, and the healthcare bills she left behind. I wasn’t fully aware of our financial struggles, but that changed when my dad was laid off from the lab. It was a tough period, and he turned to drinking, which created a vicious cycle. I thought things couldn’t get worse, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.” Maggie’s eyes looked glassy. She blinked, and a single tear trickled down her temple, disappearing beneath her blond hair. “As I told you when we met, he committed suicide.”
Her story turned my stomach, and the idea of a younger Maggie feeling helpless and alone made me feel sick.
“You know, I had no other family apart from my father, so I essentially became another orphan entering the foster care system. I transitioned between different foster families for a year, but things took a turn when I was eventually placed with the Millers.
“What I’m going to share with you… I’m not looking for sympathy… I haven’t told anyone in all these years, so please, Sienna…” She turned her face toward me. “Please don’t say anything, just listen to me.”
I remained silent as she shifted her gaze back to the ceiling and took a few deep breaths to regain her composure.
“Carl Miller, my foster dad, practically ignored me for the first couple of months. But one night, something changed. He came to my room in the middle of the night and…” Her voice quivered, and more tears started to flow uncontrollably.
“Oh, Maggie.” I pushed myself up from the bed and reached her with my arms. I hugged her tightly. Maggie wept inconsolably, and I remained in the same holding position until her sobs gradually quieted down. I couldn’t imagine the pain she must have felt every time she relived those moments.
Who could do those things to a child?
“How long?” I asked.
“Too long. When I turned sixteen, I took a job and started the legal process to emancipate from them, my legal guardians at that point. Carl and his wife, who I’m sure knew what was happening behind closed doors, never opposed throughout the process. That’s why I have intimacy issues, in addition to others. I go to therapy once a week. It helps, but I don’t think anyone recovers from something like that. Some days, all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry. Other days, I want to die, and other days, I want to make them pay.” Her voice became increasingly enraged toward the end of her statement, but I couldn’t blame her.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me, Maggie. It must have been tough for you. You know I’m here for you, now and always. So if you ever have one of those days when all you want to do is curl up in your bed and cry, call me. Especially if you’re flooded with dark thoughts. I promise I’ll be there in no time, and we can cry together. You’re not alone, Maggie.”
Maggie squeezed me tighter, and we hung on like that until there was a soft knock on the door, and Ander’s voice came through, saying, “Dinner will be ready in half an hour.”