Chapter 15
Two days later, I’m finally able to sit beside Sutton in her room. I’m in some medical suit, and the closest I can get to her is three feet from her bed. The doctors are worried about her getting an infection, so unless you’re one of her many nurses, you can’t be too close to her.
The last few days have been a roller coaster, and for several minutes I thought we lost her. The machines are keeping her alive right now because her body is so exhausted from trying to recover and heal itself that her heart is getting overworked.
“You can talk to her,” I hear from the doorway and turn to see Melissa.
“I don’t know what to say,” I admit.
“Some studies show that patients in comas respond better when they can hear your voice,” she tells me, coming to stand next to my chair. “It says that sometimes their vitals show improvement.”
I look back over at Sutton’s prone body.
“Do you think she’s going to recover from this?” I ask. “Be honest.”
“Honestly,” she pauses. “I’m not sure. The last forty-eight hours have been hard on her body, but she’s fighting and that’s all we can ask for.
” I feel a hand on my shoulder. “The question is…are you going to able to fight just as hard if she pulls through? Patients who experience these types of traumas have a hard road ahead of them and need a strong support system to help them through it. She’s going to want to die most days because it’s so painful, and it's going to be hard to watch her suffer and only be able to lend emotional support.”
“She’d do it for me,” I say, firmly.
“She absolutely would,” Melissa says. “You know she was moving in with you, right? All that work on the house was for Rocky, and once it was done she’d decided to tell you that she wanted to be a family with you and Zane.”
“Stone mentioned it,” I say.
“She can’t tell you this, but when we were discussing the project she’d said how much she loved you and Zane and couldn’t wait for all of y’all to finally be under the same roof and maybe start your family.”
My breath catches in my throat.
“She said that she loved me?” I question. She said multiple times how much she loved Zane, but we never said it to each other. Not out loud anyway.
Melissa nods her head with a genuine smile.
“She did.”
I look back over towards her bed. She’s wrapped up in the cloths that cover most all her body.
“I love her too,” I say out loud, and my heart skips a beat. “This doesn’t seem real. Like this isn’t really her, and we’re just in some crazy-ass dream or movie.”
“When tragedy happens we always wonder why and how and are left floundering to make sense of all this. But in reality, it’s hard for our brains to comprehend that something like this could happen to a loved one. Especially when they’re so young.”
“And the doctors are sure she’s not pregnant?” I ask again even though I’ve been told three different times by three different doctors the same thing.
“According to the bloodwork they took when she arrived at the hospital, she’s not.
Those at-home tests can sometimes show a false positive.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but right now her body needs to worry about recovering.
Being pregnant would put more strain on her body and that might’ve caused more damage in this already hard journey she’s facing. ”
“Can I come in yet, Mom?” I hear yelled from the door, and we both turn to the person. Rocky is standing there in the same medical suit as me, bouncing on the balls of his feet like he’s ready to take off in a sprint over to us.
“Rocky wanted to come by and see Sutton before we head back to the clubhouse. Is it okay if he talks to her for a few minutes?” she asks.
“Of course,” I say, then wave Rocky over. He comes in fast walking and halts on the other side of me.
“Hi, Sutton!” he starts to talk and waves over at the bed even though her eyes and face are covered in cloths. “Mom said I could come say hi. Sorry about the house. Dad said some fucker—”
“Language,” Melissa scolds, and it takes everything inch of my being to hold in a laugh.
“Sorry, Mom,” Rocky ducks his head, but doesn’t seem sorry at all.
He pushes his thick glasses up to the bridge of his nose then turns back to Sutton.
“Well, anyway once you get out of here we can start over. Mom said that all those changes we made were for me.” He points his thumb at his chest. “They blew up my house, Sutton, but we can build it again, Dad and Stone say. This time we should put secret passage ways between rooms.” His eyes fill with childlike joy and excitement. “Anyway, love ya.”
My heart thuds against my ribcage.
“She loves you too, buddy,” I tell him, standing to my feet, pulling him into a hug. “She told me every day all the crazy things y’all did together.”
“She’s the bestest,” he eagerly tells me.
Melissa checks her phone before standing up. “We need to go, Rocky. Dad is waiting down by the curb to pick us up.”
“We have to go live at the clubhouse,” he says in a whisper like it’s a secret.
“Zane and I’ll be there shortly,” I whisper back just as quietly.
“Really?”
“Yeah, Martha is getting all his stuff ready, and we’re heading over there later today,” I say.
“Yes!” he punches the air in victory. “Okay, now it won’t be so bad.” Rocky turns towards the bed but keeps his distance like I’m sure Melissa made sure to tell him to. “Bye, best friend! See you soon!”
Melissa gives me one last hug then they leave the room.
The silence is deafening. I don’t like it.
The only sounds are the machines letting us know that she’s still with us.
A few minutes later, two nurses come in ready to change her cloths for new ones.
I sit back down and watch as they get to work.
“Are we allowed to play music in the room?” I ask as they quietly talk while doing their job.
“Yeah, as long as it doesn’t disturb the other patients on the floor,” one of them answers.
I send a text to Riot to get me what I need to set up in here.
Two months ago, I introduced Sutton to some classic rock bands.
It blew my mind that she had no idea any of the music I grew up listening to, but then I remembered her shit-for-brains father and understood why she’d never heard of the greats like the Beatles, or Journey, or Eagles, or Pink Floyd, or even Aerosmith.
It didn’t take her long to start playing it while she cooked or cleaned around the house.
Hours later, Dr. Kemp comes in looking over her chart. I didn’t even realize that the sun was setting soon.
“How is she?” I ask.
He looks up from the chart as if he didn’t know that I’ve been sitting here the entire time.
“The same,” he replies.
“Annnnd?”
He blows out a sigh, “We need her to have days like this even though she doesn’t show any signs of improvement. As long as she doesn’t dip, that’s a win for us. There are a lot of battles that her body is about to face, so having the same vitals and results are good. For now at least.”
“Okay.” I nod.
We’ve already talked about the battles coming.
Two of them being that she can’t be in a coma forever and that her body can’t be on the high doses of morphine for long periods of time.
When Dr. Kemp and her other doctors think she can start coming out of the coma, they said her body might reject all the progress she’s made since she’s been so reliant on machines doing all the work.
“We’re doing everything we can for her,” he adds.
“I know,” I reply. I just hate that there’s nothing I can do but sit here and watch her helplessly. “Our three-year-old son wants to see her—”
“We don’t recommend small children come to the burn unit. It can be traumatizing for them, seeing their parent in this state.”
I nod, thinking the same thing but glad to hear what the doctor thought. The last thing I’d want is for Zane to see her like this and it affect him in any way.
“I’m leaving for the evening, but Dr. Morrow will be taking over the night shift,” he informs me as he leaves.
I sit back in the chair once again and stare at my Ol’ Lady.
“I love you, Sutton. I should’ve told you that months ago when I saw you come to the clubhouse for Blaze’s welcome home party.
I knew then that you were it for me. I need you to fight right now, and I’ll fight with you in whatever you need.
I’ll be here every step of the way no matter what.
I just need…” My words get choked up in my throat, and my eyes burn from unshed tears.
“I just need you to stay with me. Fight, Angel, fight with everything you have to stay here with me and Zane.”