Sixteen #2
just pointing out that we’ve had the same meal for three days now, and we haven’t even touched the supplies the iylvahn sent
with us from Irrikah. Variety is the spice of life, they say.”
“ ‘They’ aren’t trying to survive on limited provisions,” Kysa retorted. “The stonebeak jerky will eventually go bad, which
would be a waste of food and resources. I am trying to make our supplies last as long as they can.” She rose, long black hair
falling behind her in the cold wind. “Now, if you will excuse me, it is my turn to give the rock beetles their dinner. They never complain about their food.”
She strode off, and Halek sighed. “Sadly, I can’t argue with that,” he muttered.
“But I think I’ve had all the gritbread I can stomach tonight.
” He glanced at the chunk of hard bread in his hand, then looked at Meeka, sitting a few feet away and watching us all curiously.
“Here, mouse. Can’t let food go to waste, or Kysa might feed me to the rock beetles.
See if you think this is better than those glowing worms or whatever it is you eat. ”
He tossed the bread to the jair’oa, who watched it land in the sand with a thump. Stretching his body forward like a tentative
cat, the jair’oa sniffed the crust, whiskers twitching, then sneezed and drew back. “Human creature eat this?” he asked, looking
up at Halek. “This human-creature food?”
“I suppose, technically, you can call it that,” Halek said, though he had lowered his voice and was looking to where Kysa
was fiddling with Rhyne’s saddle. “You won’t starve to death, at least. Though I thought mice liked bread.”
“Meeka is not mouse.” Meeka scrubbed his paws over his nose like he was wiping away a foul smell. “Meeka is jair’oa. Jair’oa
eat star grub.”
“Yes, but surely that’s not all you eat,” Halek said.
The jair’oa blinked at him and cocked his head.
“Really?” Halek went on. “You just eat those glowing worms? Why, when there are so many other wonderful things you can consume?”
He shuddered. “To each their own, I suppose, but if I had a choice between eating a magic worm or a slice of suncake with
fresh night-cactus berries, you can guess what I would choose.”
“Creator king gave jair’oa star grub,” Meeka said, as if it was obvious. “Jair’oa eat star grub. Star grub give life and magic to jair’oa. Not need . . . suncake.” He wrinkled his nose and sneezed again.
“Dammit,” Halek sighed. “Now I really want suncake.”
I felt Raithe’s silent amusement at my back. Kysa returned, giving Halek a stern look, as if she knew what he’d been saying
even if she hadn’t heard it. “We should set a watch tonight,” she said, glancing from Halek to Raithe. “I don’t know how far
we are from the nest, but I do not want that abomination to take us by surprise again. One of us needs to be on guard at all
times, especially as we get closer to the World Scar.”
Raithe nodded. “I’ll take first watch,” he offered, and rose elegantly to his feet. “The rest of you, get some rest. We’ll
need to move out at suns rise. Sparrow . . .” His piercing gaze went to me, and my stomach fluttered. “If you have nightmares,
or sense anything wrong at all, come to me.”
“What about me?” Halek wondered, not quite able to keep the grin from his face as he gazed up at Raithe. “What if I get night
terrors and can’t sleep? Will you comfort me too, kahjai?”
“No,” Kysa said, before Raithe could say anything. “But I might. With the end of my spear. In your backside.”
“You know, if we were anywhere else, I’d say don’t tempt me with a good time,” Halek drawled, and quickly held up his hands
as Kysa turned on him, half raising her spear. “Ah! I joke, I joke, please don’t kill me.”
Raithe shook his head. My skin suddenly tingled as he touched my back, a brief, gentle caress. “I’ll be close,” he said. “Try
to get some sleep.”
He walked away, and the night was suddenly colder in his absence. After a moment, Kysa walked back toward the rock beetles, leaving me, Halek, and Meeka by the fire.
I drew my blanket further around myself, then noticed Meeka staring into his pouch. It was hard to tell with the jair’oa’s
furry facial features, but it looked like he was frowning.
“Meeka?” I asked, and his ears twitched. “What’s wrong?”
“Star grubs moving strangely,” the jair’oa replied. Reaching into his pouch, he pulled free a grub. It squirmed weakly in
his claws, and he wrinkled his nose at it. “Why grubs move strangely?
“It looks a little sick,” Halek observed, and Meeka cocked his head at him.
“What ‘sick’ mean?”
“Oh, of course.” Halek rolled his eyes at me. “The favorite magic mice of the king don’t get sick, either.”
“Meeka is not mouse.” Meeka shook the grub in his paws, then shoved it into his mouth, biting down sharply. “Tastes fine.”
Halek made an exaggerated retching sound, then gathered his blanket around him and stood, yawning loudly.
“Well, since I’m likely to get poked awake by a spear in a couple hours, I’m going to sleep,” he announced, glancing at the
tent sitting a few feet away. A cutting wind blew across the dunes, making the fire flicker, and he shivered. “Brr! Yeah,
time to go bury myself under a few quilts, I think. And we have to move out at suns rise—that’s not going to be fun.” He stared
over the fire, his eyes on something at the edge of the darkness. I followed his gaze and saw Raithe’s lean silhouette sitting
on a rock with his back to us, facing the empty desert. “You know,” Halek mused, “if I were a good person, I would not hope that our kahjai friend just stayed out here and took all the watches himself, so I could stay under my warm blankets and sleep. If I were a good person.”
The wind moaned, curling around the campsite and making my skin prickle. Halek shivered again and ducked his head. “But, I’m
not. I’m cold, and I don’t like being cold, so I’m going inside. I’m guessing you’re going to stay out here a bit longer?” he added, looking at me. “Maybe find some other way to keep warm?”
His grin was wicked and knowing. I picked up a pebble and threw it at him, and he ducked with a snicker. “Okay, okay, I get
it. Don’t let me stand in your way. Sweet dreams, Sparrow.”
He slipped through the tent flaps and disappeared inside. A little while later, Meeka yawned, showing off a pair of very large
incisors, scratched an ear, then hopped into the tent behind Halek. His long tail vanished through the crack, and I was truly
alone.
I looked toward Raithe, fighting a war within myself. Truthfully, I was tired. My eyelids were heavy, and exhaustion clawed at the edges of my mind. But I knew what would be waiting for me if I
dared close my eyes. Screams. Dying. The faces of those I’d known, staring at me in accusation. Because I was Fateless, unraveling
the destinies of everyone I met.
A chill went through me. Wasn’t that what I was trying to do now? Unravel someone’s fate so it wouldn’t get to him? Or was
I fooling myself that it could be done? It hadn’t worked for Jeran, Vahn, Rala, anyone in the guild. How long would it be,
before the faces of those closest to me now joined the ones in my dreams?
I hesitated a moment longer, then grabbed a forgotten blanket on the ground and rose.
The cold breeze ruffled my hair and thrust icy fingers into the folds of my own quilt, as if trying to yank it away.
I clasped the edges tighter around myself, set my jaw, and started toward the lone figure sitting on the rock at the edge of the firelight.
Raithe blinked as I came up to him, looking puzzled and slightly concerned, and something else that I couldn’t quite place.
Something almost . . . hopeful. “Everything all right, Sparrow?” he asked softly.
I nodded. “I just . . .” Wanted to see you? Inwardly, I winced. I couldn’t tell him that; we saw each other every day.
“Here,” I said, holding the extra blanket out to him. “I know you’re a deadly kahjai and all, but even you feel the cold.
And I figured I would . . . come and join you, because I’m probably not going to sleep tonight.”
His brow furrowed. “You should try,” he told me in that same soft, concerned voice. “The journey is only going to get harder
from here. I know the nightmares are frightening, but if you don’t rest, your body is going to start giving out. At the very
least, you’re going to be exhausted when we reach the World Scar.”
“I know, Raithe. But . . .” I lowered my arm, which trembled slightly.
“Every time I close my eyes, I see Vahn,” I whispered.
“I see myself killing him. Or I see him sacrificing me to the Deathless King. Or I see myself plunging a knife into your heart, because Vahn is in control and I can’t stop myself.
And now . . .” My eyes squeezed shut. “Now I see him as a rotting abomination, telling me that it’s my fault that he’s like this.
I know that’s what I’m going to face when I go to sleep tonight.
Either that or I’ll watch the jair’oa city being buried under a mountain of sand pouring in from overhead.
And I’ll see everyone there die, because they met the Fateless by some random chance, and all their stories changed for the worse. ”
I drew in a ragged breath, remembering the abomination that was Vahn slithering over the glass dome, his sightless white eye
peering down at us. I heard the frightened squeaks and scampers of the jair’oa as they fled around me and, in my mind, I saw
the glass shatter, spilling death and destruction into the heart of the city.
“I might’ve killed an entire colony of adorable sentient rodents,” I muttered, the sarcasm bitter in my throat. “I don’t think
I can deal with seeing that, tonight.”
Raithe reached out and gathered me, blankets and all, into his arms. He drew me close, and I leaned into his warmth. “Stay
with me, then,” he murmured in my ear. “Keep me company tonight. Maybe I’ll be able to keep the nightmares away for a little
while.”