Sixteen #3
I relaxed against him, closing my eyes. His heartbeat pulsed in my ears, his presence a barrier against every horror crowding against my mind, clawing at me with bony hands.
“I’m scared, Raithe,” I finally confessed in a whisper.
“Not of Vahn, or of dying, or even the Deathless King.” I swallowed the lie on my tongue.
“Okay, so I’m a little afraid of the Deathless King.
But I can’t get what Vahn told me out of my head—that everyone I touch is in danger of having their fate unraveled.
The jair’oa saw me, they brought me to their city because they thought I was some sort of sign from their creator god, and I led Vahn right to them.
The Scarab Clan tried to help me, and half the tribe got wiped out when Vahn’s undead army attacked.
” I clenched a fist in his shirt. “I can’t stop it.
I am an agent of chaos, just like he said. ”
“Or . . .” Raithe stroked my back. “Those things all happened because the Deathless King has been trying to kill you,” he
murmured. “Because he knows how important the Fateless is. You are the only one who can see Maederyss’s loom. You are the
only one not bound in the prophecy that says a Deathless will slay the goddess of Fate and enslave every soul in the Weave.”
He gently touched my chin, bringing my attention to him. “What happened with the Scarab Clan and the jair’oa is not on your
head, Sparrow. The Fateless is an agent of change, not chaos. And the world has to change now. Otherwise, we won’t have much of a world to exist in.”
I shivered at the look in his eyes and dropped my gaze. “You’re right,” I said. “The world does need to change. I just wish
that the fates I unravel would change for the better. Not get infinitely worse.”
“They have.” His fingers brushed my cheek and slid into my hair, leaving the softest tingles against my skin. “I can think
of a few.”
I thought of the jair’oa, the Scarab Clan, the crew aboard the strider, all the people I knew in Kovass. Everyone whose lives
had been turned upside down because they crossed paths with the Fateless. “Whose?”
“Mine.”
My heart skipped a beat. Did he know? I looked up and found him smiling down at me; that gentle smile that made my stomach turn wild cartwheels.
“If I’d never met you in Kovass that night,” he murmured, framing my face with his hand, “I don’t know what would’ve happened, but .
. .” He leaned closer, his eyes and voice very soft.
“This is exactly where I want to be. By your side, even if that means facing Deathless Kings, abominations, or an entire kingdom of statues that want to kill us. I don’t care if you’ve changed my fate or unraveled my story—you are my world now.
My thread, my destiny, whatever you want to call it, is yours. ”
He kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting the blankets fall to the sand. The wind ruffled my clothes and
tugged at my hair, but I didn’t feel the cold. I didn’t feel anything but Raithe; his arms, his lips, the steady thud of his
heart against mine. It still felt surreal, like it was happening to someone else.
We drew back, Raithe still smiling down at me. “There,” he murmured, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “Do you think I’ve
chased the nightmares away tonight?”
My heart was still pounding, my insides dancing wildly within. I gazed into his beautiful eyes, the pale blue irises ringed
by silver, and my longing for him rose up and suffocated everything else.
Gathering my courage, I slipped my hands around the back of his head and laced my fingers together, trapping him against me.
“I think it’s too soon to tell,” I whispered, as his brows arched. “I think we need to test the theory a little more.”
“Oh?” He sounded slightly breathless, the desire in his gaze gleaming brighter. “Then tell me—how will I know if I’ve been successful?”
“I’m sure I’ll figure it out,” I said, and pulled him to me.
He let out a soft groan as our lips met, wrapping his arms around me again, and once more I was enveloped in warmth. I leaned
up on tiptoe, pressing into him on the rock, as our lips moved together and the wind swirled around us. As always, Raithe
was gentle, letting me set the pace, keeping his hands against my back, but I wanted more. I dropped my head to softly kiss
his jawline, and he let out a ragged breath, tilting his head back and making my stomach flutter. Bolstered, I pressed my
lips to his neck, and he shuddered, hands coming up to grip my shoulders.
“Sparrow.” His voice was a breathless whisper as he drew back. “Wait.”
I looked up at him, blinking. His chest heaved, his gaze bright as it met mine, but he took a deep breath and went still.
“If we keep going,” he said, his gaze both regretful and apologetic, “I’m not going to be able to keep watch very effectively.
Vahn is still out there, and the last thing I want is for him to get the drop on us like last time.” One hand rose, palm pressing
against my cheek. “If he shows up, and I’m . . . distracted, even if he doesn’t kill us, Kysa certainly will.”
“Oh.” I slumped. Drawing back, I turned, suddenly feeling the chill against my skin.
The discarded blankets fluttered around my ankles, and I bent to pick them up.
My cheeks burned, a sharp contrast to the cold.
He was right, of course. Vahn was actively hunting us.
There was no time for foolishness, no time to lower our guards even for a moment.
“You’re right,” I told Raithe as I straightened.
“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I just . . .” The flush in my cheeks spread to my neck, and I winced.
“I’m . . . going to try to sleep . . . now. Good night, Raithe.”
He caught my wrist before I could walk away. “Don’t go,” he said as I turned to look at him. “Come back, Sparrow. Please.”
I stepped toward him, and he sighed. “Do you want to know what you do to me?” he murmured, and the hand that held my own drew
me forward and placed my palm against his chest, holding it to his heart. I could suddenly feel it racing, loud and fast,
beneath my fingers.
Raithe closed his eyes. “No one else has that effect on me,” he said, as my own heartbeat picked up in response. His eyes
opened, pale blue and solemn, his gaze piercing my soul. “This is entirely new to me, Sparrow. I haven’t . . . cared for anyone
like this before.” He brushed a strand of hair from my eyes. “For now, I can only protect you. For now, the mission to find
the loom takes precedence over everything else. But when it’s over, if I’m still alive, I hope to show you exactly what that
means.”
If I’m still alive.
My throat closed, my heart racing in my ears. If there was one fate I could unravel, I prayed it would be his.
Raithe took the blanket from my arms and wrapped it around my shoulders. “But for now,” he murmured, “I promised you a night
with no bad dreams, didn’t I.”
Before I could answer, he bent and swept me effortlessly into his arms. I bit down a yelp of surprise as he stood, the wind
tugging at his hair and clothes. “Raithe, what—?”
“I told you I would chase the nightmares away.” He lowered us both to the sand. Sitting with his back against the rock, he settled me in his lap and pulled the blankets close around us. “And you said you would keep me company tonight,” he said. “I think this is a suitable compromise.”
He spoke calmly, but I could hear his heartbeat, still thudding in his chest. I put a hand over it, and his breath hitched.
“This won’t count as a distraction?” I challenged.
“Not . . . as much of a distraction.” He pressed his lips to the top of my hood. “I’ll be right here,” he murmured. “Try to
get some sleep.”
I didn’t think I could sleep. Both my mind and body felt too riled up, pulled in several different directions. But I leaned
my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat, the warmth of the blankets and his arms surrounding me. Despite the
racing of his heart, Raithe’s breaths came slow and easy, a gentle rhythm lulling me to sleep. I gazed up at the sky, at the
thin crescent moon high overhead, and thought about his words to me. That, when this was over, he would show me what I meant
to him. I didn’t know if that thrilled or terrified me. Probably both.
I didn’t realize my eyes had drifted shut . . . until I looked up and was no longer myself.
I was blind. I couldn’t see anything. But I could feel myself sliding through the sand.
Grit passed over my scales, through my flesh and bones, disturbing the multitude of tiny creatures writhing through my insides.
They were everywhere, in every part of me, squirming against muscle and tendon.
In my heart, in my brain, crawling over organ and tooth and bone.
Their jaws bit at me, chewing and consuming, piercing my rotting flesh with a million tiny daggers.
It was maddening, and I could do nothing about it.
I had to find her, the one hidden from me.
I couldn’t sense her, couldn’t see her, but I knew the shapes of her companions.
Warrior, assassin, insects, fool. They would lead me to her.
If I found them, she would be there, too.
I opened my eyes with a gasp.
“Easy.” Raithe leaned in, his voice low and soothing. “I’m here, Sparrow. You’re safe.”
“No.” My heart pounded in my ears. I glanced at the sky and saw that the moon had disappeared, the stars fading. Turning in
Raithe’s arms, I looked up and met his concerned gaze. “Vahn is coming,” I said, and he straightened. “Right now. He’s hunting
us—I don’t know how close he is.”
Raithe’s lips tightened, and he nodded once. “We need to get moving, then.” Taking my hand, he rose, pulling us both to our
feet. I shivered in the cold predawn air as the blankets dropped away. “Kysa is already taking care of the rock beetles,”
Raithe said, tucking the covers under his arm. “I’ll wake Halek and pack the tent. Go see if Ratuk needs you, and let Kysa
know what’s going on.”