CHAPTER 33 #2
Without thinking, Samara put the phone on speaker and opened her message app, where she saw four pictures.
Each seemed worse than the next. The tangled metal and the red stains she could clearly make out as blood made her stomach lurch, and she felt lightheaded.
She’d seen photos like this before. She closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to control her heart rate.
Thankfully, Lainey wasn’t in the driver’s seat in those pictures, but Samara knew what a body keeled over looked like.
She closed the app, took her phone off speaker, and put it back to her ear.
“Really bad. I’m so glad she’s okay,” she said, swallowing hard and lying back because she needed her head against a pillow.
“She’s not out of the woods yet, but they’re confident she’ll recover. She’s lucky she’s not playing soccer anymore. Her career would’ve been over. She’s going to need a lot of PT, and they might have to postpone the wedding, depending on how that goes.”
Samara lay there silently, not sure what else to say.
“Babe?”
“Yeah?” she said.
“Um… I know I asked you not to come before, but I needed to be able to focus on my family and keeping Paige together. It seems like Lainey will be home soon, though. I know you have things to do there, but do you think you could come here instead? I mean, can you get out of the events you have to go to?”
“Oh,” she said. “I can, yeah. I just need to talk to a few people.”
“So, you’ll come?” Dana asked.
Samara thought about the pictures again and said, “I’ll book something for after Christmas. That should give you a few more days with your family, and hopefully, Lainey will be home. Is that okay?”
“Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s good,” Dana replied, but Samara wasn’t sure whether she was telling the whole truth.
◆◆◆
“You know you’re an idiot, right?” Kyla said.
“I’m not an idiot,” Samara replied. “I’m respecting her wishes.”
“Her wishes? Her sister was in an awful car accident a week ago, and you’re here in my bed, watching me eat way too much food, instead of being with your girlfriend in the hospital.”
“Her sister is out of the hospital. Dana texted me this morning that she was released.”
“That’s good,” Kyla said and finished her third slice of pizza. “But why are you still here, exactly?”
“Well, she insisted I stay, so I did. Then, she didn’t call me for two days. All I got were sporadic texts where she told me that Lainey was out of surgery or still not awake and talking yet. When I finally did talk to her, she asked me to go there.”
“You didn’t tell me that. Why are you still here, Samara?” Kyla asked.
Samara crossed her legs on Kyla’s bed and replied, “She described the accident, and I guess there were pictures. Paige had them and sent them to her.”
“Oh,” Kyla said. “You saw them, and it made you…”
“Go back to the day I lost my mom, yeah,” she replied. “I told her I’d book something for after Christmas and that I had an event to go to, which was true.”
“You could have skipped that party. Hell, you can skip any party to go be with your girlfriend.”
“Also true. But I don’t know, Kyla. It’s hard.
She didn’t want me there. She was so adamant that she didn’t want me around.
She started talking about how bad stuff only seems to happen whenever she’s not at home, as if she’s the only one keeping her family alive and safe, which is total bullshit, but that’s Dana.
It’s a part of her somehow that she’s got to be that person, and if she’s not close by, something bad will happen. ”
“She reminds me of that girl you told me about once.”
“What girl?”
“The one from therapy or something. She watched the lock on the door because she was so worried about the house or her family being hurt if someone got in because she didn’t lock it.”
Samara turned her face to Kyla’s and replied, “Oh, my God. You’re right.
There was this guy I read something about who lived in New York and had never left the island because he had a fear that if he crossed a bridge, someone in his family would die.
He was thirty years old when he tried to cross one for the first time, and he made the guy driving the car turn around because he thought his mom would die. ”
“Think she’s a little like you, maybe?” Kyla asked.
“I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. I shouldn’t be diagnosing anyone with anything. But it’s irrational, right? That she’s not really living the life she wants because she’s so afraid that if she’s away from them, something bad will happen?”
“I guess. But I’m no doctor, either.”
“Her parents are moving away from New Orleans. She says she’s not going to follow them or anything, but I believe that’s because she thinks she still has Lainey to worry about.
It still wouldn’t surprise me if she tried to find an apartment equidistant from their new house and Lainey’s place just so she could get to all of them as quickly as possible. ”
“What happens with you two, then?”
“I’m falling for her, Kyla.”
“Obviously.” Kyla rolled her eyes. “I haven’t even met her yet, and I can tell you’re in love with this girl. I’ve seen you with the few dudes you’ve dated, and you don’t act like this.”
“Like this? I offered to go with her to be there for her, and then I took it back. I haven’t booked a flight or anything yet because–”
“Because you’re scared. I get it. I’m sure Dana would, too. You were in that car when your mom died. You watched your sister get hurt and probably thought you’d lose her as well or might die yourself. Dana will understand that, but you shouldn’t keep lying to her.”
“I know.”
“It’s after Christmas now. You already missed your shot to be with her and spent the day at your agent’s house, probably thinking of nothing other than your girlfriend and how much you’d rather be with her.”
“Yes,” she replied, laughing because Kyla was right, as usual.
“So, go there. Be with her. Don’t be stupid. Don’t mess this up. You have to go back at the start of the year anyway. Skip the lame events and parties and just go. If she tells you that she doesn’t want you there again, she’s probably lying.”
“I didn’t get her a Christmas present.”
“You didn’t tell me what to get her.”
“I should buy it myself. I’m the girlfriend.”
“Getting something kinky you don’t want me to know about?” Kyla teased.
“No. I don’t know what to get her, honestly. I thought we’d spend time together here and I’d see something when we were out, or she would mention something at one of the stores and I’d have you grab it later.”
“What is she into, besides you?”
Samara laughed a little and said, “I’m not even sure if she’s that into me anymore.”
“Samara, I’m sure she feels the same way about you that you do about her. She left New Orleans with you, didn’t she?”
“After I convinced her.”
“She still left. And you said she liked it here.”
“She did. It felt like home.” Samara sighed. “And now, I’m afraid I’ll lose her because she’ll never want to leave that city again.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I am an actress.”
“Not with me, you’re not. And, I’m guessing, you’re not with Dana, either. Can you live in New Orleans?”
“I guess. I could buy something there, and I could go back and forth.”
“So, that’s an option.”
“But I’m home here. And she is, too. I swear, she was just a few days away from telling me that she could see herself moving here and trying to make a go of it with acting.
Then, this happens, and she’s going to go back to catering, which would’ve been fine if that was actually what she wanted, but it’s not. ”
“You know what would make a great belated Christmas gift?”
“What?”
“Telling her that you love her.”
“I can’t do that. It’s been weeks.”
“So? It’s obviously true. Tell her how you feel and be completely honest, however you want to word it. Make sure she knows that it’s serious and real and that you’ll figure things out together, whether she does what you just said, or she ends up leaving there to come here.”
“Fine. But what do I get her for her birthday?”
“What? When’s that?” Kyla asked.
“New Year’s Eve,” she said.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Samara, I’m booking your flight. You missed Christmas. You will not miss this woman’s birthday, too. God, you’re such an asshole sometimes.”
Kyla pulled out her phone.
“I thought I was doing the right thing, Kyla,” she said. “Letting her be there with her family, while I try to work on my own shit.”
“Yeah. Then, she asked you to be there, and you fucked that up. You’re supposed to work on at least some of that shit together, Samara. You’re getting on a damn plane even if my pregnant ass has to shove you onto it.”
“Now, who’s being dramatic?”