Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The feeling of wrongness wouldn’t leave me.
First, there had been three days of not knowing where Rowan was.
He didn’t answer his phone, respond to his texts, or even show up for his classes.
Desperate to find him and make sure he was okay, I went to the rugby game, only to find he wasn’t there either.
I told Adan I was going to call the police and report him missing.
He assured me Rowan was okay. I asked his other friends, and they kept saying it wasn’t a big deal and not to worry about him.
But I could tell by the way they wouldn’t meet my eyes and how they glanced at one another before answering that it was a big deal.
A very big deal. I had a feeling his disappearance had something to do with his father.
Then, after three agonizing days, he texted and asked to meet Friday night.
Three days from now. No explanation, nothing telling me he was okay.
He acted as if those three days never happened.
His text was distant and vague. I’d told him I’d have to think about it.
I needed to step back from our relationship and reevaluate everything before I decided how to proceed.
After that phone conversation with my mother, I’d been determined to ignore her demands and make my own decisions.
Ones that I thought were best for me and not influenced by others.
If you’d asked me last week, I never thought Rowan would just disappear on me.
My gut told me that this wasn’t because we’d had sex.
When I’d told Sarah about it and he proceeded to ignore me for three days, she said it was because I’d slept with him too soon.
Her comment irritated me. I didn’t think that was the reason. I really thought it had something to do with his dad.
His behavior since he returned was disappointing.
Even though he was around, he continued to ignore me.
No calls, no texts, and he didn’t try to see me.
That sinking feeling in my stomach surfaced, telling me I’d been duped somehow.
Maybe he had only used me for sex. But I didn’t want to jump to conclusions until we talked.
I deserved an explanation, and I planned on getting one.
If he didn’t break up with me, then I would break up with him.
This week proved that it was all too much.
Everyone seemed to be against our relationship, and I could only surmise that they knew something I didn’t.
I refused to revolve my life around a man.
And life with Rowan felt like the Rowan show.
The next time I decided to date someone, I would date them longer before agreeing to be exclusive. The thought of being with anyone other than Rowan felt wrong and made my heart skip a beat. I didn’t know how I would ever be with another man. Rowan had ruined me.
“Are you doing okay?” Sarah asked, still lying in bed.
Since it was Saturday morning, I needed to get up and get moving. My mom planned on being here by ten for our brunch. She said she was coming alone, without my dad. I was finally going to get my questions answered.
“I’m fine.” I shoved the covers back and stood, reaching up with my arms and stretching.
“How’d Rowan take the news yesterday?”
When I’d texted him I couldn’t meet Friday night like he’d wanted, he’d simply asked when I could meet.
I told him Saturday night since I wanted to hear what my mother had to say before I met with him.
I could only handle one thing at a time right now, and everything seemed to be mounting on top of me, trying to bury me. It was all too much.
“Rowan responded with a thumbs up. We’re meeting tonight.”
“Wow,” Sarah said. “Talk about cold.”
“Yup.” He acted as if he didn’t care about me at all. It stung and made it hard to breathe when I thought about it too much. I had to keep shoving it aside, ignoring it, in order to make it through the day.
It hurt because I really liked him. He was smart, funny, and caring.
We got along. I enjoyed playing games with him, talking with him, and kissing him.
I thought we had something special. To make matters worse, Adan told me that this was what Rowan did with girls.
He got them to trust him, made them believe they were special, he slept with them, then disappeared on them.
Adan said Rowan didn’t like doing breakups.
Apparently that was why Adan had warned me about getting too close to Rowan in the first place.
“What are you doing today?” I asked as I looked through my closet for something to wear.
“Danielle and I are studying, then going out tonight.”
“Are Austin and George meeting up with you guys?”
“Nope. It’s going to be just us girls. If you finish with Rowan early and want to come, text me. I’ll let you know where we are.”
“Will do.” I grabbed an outfit and went into the bathroom.
After I showered and dressed, I packed my purse and left. When I exited my dorm building, I spotted my mom sitting in her car at the curb. I opened the door and got in. She pulled away, neither of us saying a single word.
She drove about ten minutes before pulling into the parking lot of a hotel.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, panic creeping in.
“I’m staying here. I drove up last night. They have a nice brunch.” She parked and got out.
I exited the car. “Are you going back today?” I feared she’d lock me in a hotel room and force me to drop out of school and return home with her.
“No, I’m driving back tomorrow morning. I didn’t know how long this conversation would take, and I don’t want us to be rushed.
” My mom’s eyes became glassy, as if she was trying not to cry, which was probably the real reason she was staying tonight.
If this went badly, she didn’t have to drive home upset.
My hope for this being a simple talk with her having a reasonable explanation evaporated. I clutched my purse, scared for the first time about what she might reveal.
We entered the four-story boutique hotel.
The lobby was all dark wood with blue and green tapestries.
Mom led the way to a formal dining room containing a handful of tables.
The walls had intricate paper, the paintings looked like original works, and the servers all wore suits with ties.
The hostess led us to a table near the window overlooking the river.
Neither of us spoke as we looked at the menu. When our server came, I ordered hot green tea, french toast with blueberries, and a side of bacon. My mom got egg whites and fruit.
Once the menus were taken and we were alone, I leaned forward on my forearms, ready to hear what my mom had to say. The tables on either side of us were empty, giving us some privacy for this conversation.
“Let’s start with what you know,” my mom said, folding her hands around her cup of coffee. “Then we’ll work our way back from there.”
I stared at my mom sitting across from me.
She had the same long dark hair as me, the same blue eyes, the same flawless skin.
She had on black slacks with a light blue sweater, showcasing her eyes.
One-carat diamond earrings were in her ears, and on her wedding finger, a five-carat diamond ring.
She was always dressed so well and put together.
It was hard to think about her having me in college and whatever had happened to make me not fully human.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “I know my insulin isn’t insulin and my dad isn’t my dad.”
Mom’s eyes widened as she inhaled a sharp breath. She took a sip of her coffee, the cup shaking slightly, the only sign of her distress. “What else has that boy told you?” Her voice came out angry and accusing. “What stories has he put in your head?”
The server came, setting the hot water for my tea on the table. When he left, I put the tea bag in. “If you’re referring to Rowan, he’s told me nothing. We only went out a few times.”
“Of course this has to do with Rowan.” She glanced about the room, as if nervous.
“This,” I gestured between my mom and me, “has nothing to do with him. My insulin has nothing to do with him. My dad not being my biological father has nothing to do with him. You lying to me my entire life, has nothing to do with him.” Other than Rowan knowing what the non-human part of me was and him being the same, this didn’t involve him.
Mom rubbed her forehead, not meeting my eyes.
“I want to know the truth. I want to know what I am.” I kept my voice low so it wouldn’t carry. “I know I’m not fully human due to a lab I did in genetics.”
She glanced around the dining room.
“Please. I need to know.” My voice cracked, and tears filled my eyes. I deserved to know the truth about myself.
“I suppose it’s time,” she muttered, more to herself than to me. “I’m going to start at the beginning.” She reached out and took my hand, squeezing it. “Your father, the man who raised you, he’s your father in all ways that count.”
“I agree,” I said. “However, I’d still like to know my history.” Then I could decide for myself what I did with that knowledge.
“I grew up in San Diego,” she revealed. “My parents, your grandparents, still live there. I went to college in Southern California. During my junior year, I did a semester abroad.”
Shock inundated me. I’d never known any of this information about my mom. “My grandparents are alive?”
She nodded.
“What college did you go to?” For some reason, I’d always assumed she’d gone to college on the East Coast.
“The name of the university doesn’t matter.” She released my hand and took a sip of her coffee. I used the chance to pour myself a cup of tea.
“Where’d you study abroad?” My mom never traveled. Ever.