8. Jason
Abigail insisted that she pick me up, since I was going out with her. I think it was more she didn’t want to take an Uber, but I was going to go with it. I wasn’t able to drive, so anyway that I had to go to be near her was good enough for me. I could tell that she was nervous, and I assured her that everything was going to be okay. I was sure of it.
Abigail asked me halfway there what I liked about my college friends, and I shrugged. “I lost track of most of them when I went into the military. Now that I am back and all jacked up, I don’t seek them out.”
She awed me and I didn’t know why I had said any of it. With Abigail I wanted to share more than I should. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me. I hated the idea of it. I wanted the desire and attention that we had for each other before. Nothing else was going to be done.
There were a lot of speeches and a lot of talking going on all around me. Since Abigail was the only survivor, she was very popular. For many parents, she was the last and maybe closest connection that they had to their kids. Abigail was overwhelmed, I could hear it in her voice, but there was something else about her and how she handled it all. Even as she dealt with all of it, I could hear strength in her words. Abigail helped many.
Then, she was asked to give a speech and like everyone else, I was hanging on to her every word. She didn’t recite what happened, though I already knew that. Instead, she gave a new story to each of the parents for their child, and I doubt there was a dry eye in the room. It certainly didn’t sound like anyone was able to lose themselves in that moment.
There were several times that Abigail’s voice hitched, and I wished that I was able to go to her, stand beside her for comfort. I couldn’t though, it’s not like it would be looked at well. I had to stand there and listen like everyone else, even though Abigail was obviously having a hard time of it.
When the speaking part of it was over, I made my way to her, and I used her sweet voice to lead me. There was something about the throaty sound of her laugh that made finding her extra easy. How badly I wanted Abigail!
There was a time when I would have done anything to be with her, anything at all, and this was one of those times. I was sure that Abigail was going to be upset that I was taking her attention away, but she was relieved instead. She clung to me as we walked away.
“Thanks, they are a bit much.”
I told her that I couldn’t imagine doing what she was doing, and I really did mean it. She was doing something that was good for all of them, obvious by how happy they were to have answers, but it was also pretty clear that it was really hard on her as well. Abigail was sacrificing herself.
“It had to be done. I knew that it was going to be bad, but it was worse than I thought it would be.” Her voice wasn’t even. Someone was coming up and I heard them say her name, so instead of letting another grieving parent get their hooks into her, I did the first thing that came to mind and that was to give her a kiss.
The person coming stopped and Abigail stopped breathing for a moment. It was clear that I had made the scene I was going for. Abigail was shocked, but after a moment of indecision, she started to kiss me back and I have to say, it surprised me. Her tongue was so talented, and I could feel it wiggle in my mouth. Why was that so damn hot? I couldn’t stop how it made me feel and I pulled her in tighter. All of my senses were bothering with her and how I was feeling, so I really didn’t have a memory of where we were. I forgot and I was about to start fondling her if I wasn’t pushed back. Abigail was breathing hard, and she whispered that it was a bad time. I knew that it wasn’t the greatest time, but the room seemed quieter.
“Sorry, I just…” I had no explanation, so I left it open. Abigail was silent next to me. No one came up to us for a while, and I think it gave us both the reprieve that we were looking for.
There was some music that played later, and we danced together. Abigail was surprised that I would ask, even more shocked when I was pretty good at it. I loved the way it felt to have her in my arms. I felt capable, which was nice after feeling so out of control with the attack. When Abigail was in my arms, I felt amazing, like anything was possible.
By the end of it when we were walking to the car, Abigail told me that she had a great time. I’d had the same, but she said that it was such a shock that she would have a good day, considering what kind of a day it had been. I knew what she was talking about, and I once again was glad that I could be there for her. I was very uncomfortable most of the day, but that was okay. I was fine with it now, knowing that I’d truly helped her. That was all I wanted to do.
When we got into her car, she turned to me. “About that kiss…” Her voice stalled and I waited for what she was going to say next. I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be how she didn’t like the kiss. She had, so had I, and that was just the end of it. There was a part of me that wanted to kiss her again, and I asked her coyly if she wanted another.
“You did it to save me from more questions, right?”
I agreed if that was what she wanted to hear. “You can take it that way if you like.”
She scoffed, “Was that the way it was?”
“When a man is that close to a beautiful woman for that long, it’s hard to not kiss her.”
Abigail made a clicking sound with her tongue. “You don’t know if I am beautiful. You can’t see me.”
I agreed. “It is a regret that I have, but one that I can’t change. Beauty isn’t always looks. You have a spirit that makes you amazing.”
She made a sound and I wanted to kiss her again. I asked her if I could, and she surprised me by leaning in to break the distance. I think both of us wondered where all of this play was going to go. She was driving me crazy, and I’m pretty sure that she knew it.
When our lips touched this time, I was able to cup her cheek and hold her there. I could take my time, kiss her nicely and slowly and revel in the way that she surrendered to me. It was the sweetest thing, and I couldn’t help how turned on I was. Abigail was perfect, and she was right. I had never seen her, but I felt her face, knew every groove, and was delighted in the way that she tasted. It was all more than I wanted to think about. I was sure that life was always going to be sweeter with Abigail in it.
Something pushed me to want more, and I started to pull her onto my lap. She had a steering wheel in front of her and I groaned in frustration. Abigail pulled back and tried to collect herself. She wasn’t able to right away and that made me feel a little bit better.
“Sorry, I got a little bit carried away.”
“It’s okay,” Abigail said to me slowly. I could tell that she was bothered and neither one of us said much of anything on the way back to my place. I asked her if she wanted to come in for a drink, but she refused me. I wasn’t surprised, of course, but I wasn’t happy about her refusal. Damn I needed her. What was holding her back? Was it because I was blind? We were so good together, the chemistry was there, so why wouldn’t she give us a chance?