Chapter 37
The door to the apartment closes shut, but I keep my eyes on the puzzle in front of me.
Whatever happened between Avery and me earlier clearly startled her because she ran out of here so fast I could barely understand the words she tossed my way on her way out.
My instincts were shouting at me to chase after her, but I can understand why this situation might have freaked her out a little bit.
First, she walks back into my life after years of no contact—totally my fault, but still.
Then we get married and even though it’s fake, I kind of wish it wasn’t.
And now she’s staying with me while her roommate is out of town. I can’t make this shit up.
It’s totally understandable why she needed some space.
Now that she’s back, I’m still unsure of how she’s feeling.
So, instead of checking in on her like my brain is telling me, I focus on the puzzle of the Northern Lights I’ve been working on for the past few days.
Although I love living alone, now that my best friend has found his person, and we’re spending less time hanging out, I find myself antsy some nights.
Hence, the new hobby of puzzles I discovered.
I grab a piece and attempt to attach it to the area I’m working on but it doesn’t quite fit.
Okay, so I’m not that great at completing them yet, but I’ll get there.
I hear the sounds of Avery hanging her bag up and kicking her shoes off.
All of my senses are on high alert as I wait to see what she does next.
I’m pretending to scan the pieces, but all of my attention is on the pitter-patter of her footsteps as they inch closer to where I’m working.
“I didn’t know you were a puzzle guy.” Avery rests her hand on the back of my chair and peers down at the mess of a workspace I have.
Only the border and some random pieces are together right now.
She reaches down and grabs a piece with the tail of a shooting star and connects it with the area I’ve been struggling with for a half hour.
“Damn. You don’t want to know how long I’ve been looking for that one.” I look up at her and we exchange smiles. “Want to join me?”
“Sure.”
Avery sits down in the seat next to me, and I’m hyperaware of just how close we’re sitting to each other when she reaches out for another piece and her arm brushes my shoulder in the process.
It’s barely anything, a whisper of warmth through the fabric of my shirt, but it’s enough to wreck my concentration completely.
I try to refocus on the puzzle, but it’s pointless. Because now I’m just waiting for it again. Anticipating the next time she might find a piece and brush her arm against mine. It finally comes again, slower this time, and my fingers tighten around the piece I’m holding.
Does she notice it, too? Is she doing it on purpose?
Instead of leaning away, I lean into it—just a tiny bit. I’m testing the waters and I don’t know if I’m going to sink or swim here but there’s only one way to find out.
Avery snaps a piece into place, but reaches even farther in search of a new one.
She’s even closer now, the sweet smell of her shampoo invading my space.
This time, I turn to look at her. For a second, I simply watch her.
The way her eyes squint as she focuses on the puzzle.
The way she nibbles on her lower lip, darting her tongue out in concentration.
And when she pulls her arm back, she doesn’t set it in her lap like before.
She keeps it pressed against mine and then she finally looks at me, too.
Our faces are inches apart now. Close enough that I can see the exact moment her breath hitches and then parts her lips like she wants to say something.
Everything else—the puzzle, the room, the conflicting voices in my head—fades away. It’s just her. And she’s looking at me like she can feel it too. This gravitational pull that’s been here since the minute she walked back into my life.
My gaze drops to her mouth and I tilt forward just a fraction. I’m giving her the time to pull back but when she doesn’t I move even closer. One more inch until I can taste those sweet lips again.
I drop my mouth to hers.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
My phone vibrates loudly on the table in between us, rattling the puzzle pieces surrounding it. Avery pulls back first, quickly, like she just remembered who I am and what we were about to do.
I lean back slowly, not because I want to but because part of me is stuck in the moment where she didn’t move and she almost let it happen. I drag a hand through my hair and exhale roughly. Somehow, I force my attention back to the puzzle.
“Aren’t you going to get that?”
Avery’s voice snaps me back to reality where my phone is still violently vibrating on the table. Picking it up, I see it’s an incoming call from Jefferson.
Of course it fucking is.
I hit the side of my phone, rejecting the call, and place it face down on the opposite side of the table. “It’s just Jefferson. It’s not important.”
She doesn’t say anything and she also doesn’t reach for another puzzle piece.
I swear, it’s been one step forward and two steps back ever since we signed that marriage license.
We’re both fighting something that feels inevitable, but the outside noise of everything else is rattling any progress we make.
I’m afraid she’s going to run off again and fight whatever is building between us, so in an attempt to keep her here with me, I suggest we switch gears. “I was going to attempt baking muffins for a quick grab-and-go snack for the week.”
This grabs her attention immediately.
“You bake?”
I laugh quietly and push away from the table.
The truth is, I had no intention of actually baking them but she doesn’t need to know that.
“No, not really. Sadie usually spoils me, but she’s been busy so she sent over a recipe.
She claims even a monkey could do it but the last time she sent me an easy recipe, the cookies were so flat they turned into more of a cookie cake. ”
She stands and follows me into the kitchen.
“I mean, that doesn’t sound awful.”
Pulling out the ingredients we’ll need from the pantry, I set them on the island in front of her. “No, in theory that’s not so bad. It was the taste that was absolutely abhorrent.” I’m fumbling with the stand-up mixer I’ve used only three times before now when Avery steps in next to me.
“Here. Give it to me. You’ve been demoted to sous chef. I’ll bake, you hand me the ingredients when I need them.”
So that’s what we do. Avery calls out ingredients to me, and I hand them to her promptly.
When she’s done with each step of the recipe, I clean up or put away the things we don’t need anymore.
I know I’m not doing much, but working together with Avery to hopefully create something great is the highlight of my week.
After I’ve mashed the bananas, I hand them to Avery to add to the mix. When she grabs the bowl, I notice the number on her watch has gone from the 80s to the high 90s which means her heart rate is rising, fast. Rushing around the island, I grab stools for both of us.
“Sit, Aves. You need to get off your feet.” I set one of the stools behind her and take a seat on my own.
She flashes me an appreciative smile and we continue working together, taking breaks every so often for her to drink some water or just to laugh about the mess I’m making doing the most menial tasks.
I’ve just finished putting the muffin liners into the muffin tins I didn’t even know I owned when I hear the mixer turn off. Avery turns to me with a crooked grin. “Okay, there’s one more thing we need.”
I set the stack of liners aside and turn, giving her my full attention. “What’s that?”
“I’m about to ask you a very important question. I need to know the type of man you’ve become and if staying with you is actually a good idea or not.”
My curiosity is at an all-time high but I’m also feeling a little nervous. What the heck is she going to ask me about muffins that will tell her the type of man I am? She turns in her stool and crosses one leg over the other. She places her hands on the tops of her thighs and then leans in closer.
“Chocolate chips or nuts?” Her eyebrow raises in question.
I don’t even hesitate. “Chocolate chips. Obviously.”
The most radiant smile spreads across her face, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.
Eliciting that type of reaction out of her is my new goal for each day.
If I can make her feel joy or happiness and get her to smile like that, well, I’d go to sleep feeling accomplished every single night.
“That’s the correct answer.” Avery grabs the bag of chocolate chips and pours about half the bag into the big mixing bowl. When she’s done, she reaches in and pops one in her mouth.
“Hey, I want one!”
She reaches in again and grabs one, but instead of handing it to me, she holds it up in front of her. “I’m gonna make you work for it. Open up.”
Lord, you have no idea how badly I want to do just that.
Shaking away the dirty thoughts, I drop my jaw and create a target for her.
Avery closes one eye and does a few practice motions like you do when you’re preparing to throw a dart.
Finally, she gets set and counts down. “Three, two, one.” She launches the chocolate chip at me and it smokes me right in the eyeball.
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry.”
My eye stings and starts to water. I can’t see shit so I don’t notice she’s in front of me until I feel her hands on my cheeks. “Let me see.”
The sting is dulling by the second the longer her hands cradle my face.
I open the eye that escaped the assault, and the moment I do I forget how to breathe.
Avery’s green eyes peer into mine and then she’s blowing lightly on my eyelid that remains squeezed shut.
Her breath ghosts over my skin, soft and careful.
It’s the kind of gentleness that shouldn’t undo me.
But it does. All of my focus is on the shape of her mouth and the way it lingers so close to my skin. My heart kicks hard in my chest and I don’t want this moment to slip past us again.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t even move. So I do.
I reach my hand up to her cheek and slowly caress it with my thumb. Finally, she forgets about my watering eye and moves her lips so they’re directly in front of mine.
Slowly, I inch closer. And when my lips are a breath away from hers, I simply say, “I’m going to kiss you now.”
“Yes,” she says on a breathy exhale.
The kiss starts soft, as if we’re both unsure this is actually happening. There’s so much history here between us, years of unspoken emotion desperate to be released, I swear I can feel every sigh and moan deep in my bones.
I can’t believe this is really happening.
Our tongues explore each other’s in careful, almost tentative, restrained strokes. Like we’re both relearning something we both knew by heart. Knowing I could’ve had this through all the years I lost makes my chest ache.
And then something shifts.
Maybe it’s the sound I make when she pulls me closer. Maybe it’s the way my hands slide into her hair like muscle memory. Whatever it is, the restraint between us finally snaps.
This kiss is no longer careful. It’s wild and urgent and so fucking perfect.
It’s like we both remember exactly how good we were together.
I kiss her hard, and I swear the world tilts beneath my feet.
Every touch, every sound, feels familiar in the most dangerous way.
All of the old chemistry between us comes roaring back to life and I need more.
Reaching behind her, I grab her with two hands and lift her so she’s sitting on my lap. Our mouths break apart but this is far from over. My lips find her jaw and I kiss my way up to the shell of her ear.
“You taste even better than I remember.”
She whimpers and grinds herself against my rock hard cock below her.
“That’s it, baby. Don’t hold back.”
Avery moves in slow circles on my lap as I continue to kiss every inch of skin I can find. I pull her shirt down to reveal a black lace bra and groan. “Did you wear this for me?”
She nods. “Yes. More, Connor. Please.”
I nip at her nipple through her bra which causes her to scream out. “Oh god, yes!”
I sit up and swallow her scream with my mouth. This feels so good. Too good. We’re moving together now, my hands on her hips as she continues to move over me.
Avery pulls back but keeps her hands on my shoulders. There’s no stopping me now, so I push up into her warm center and she throws her head back. “I’m so close.”
“Then let go, Aves. Let me hear what you sound like now when you come.”
She starts rotating her hips over my hard length, this time faster as she builds up to her own relief.
I’m not too far behind, but I refuse to come before she does.
I pull down her shirt one more time and, this time, I pull the cup of her bra down with it.
My mouth finds her nipple, and after a few flicks of my tongue Avery cries out.
“Oh, fuck. Connor. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Her movements begin to slow, but hearing my name fall from her lips is all it takes to push me over the edge. I find my release with her and hold her in place, afraid she might move before I’m ready.
Avery’s head drops to my shoulder. I’m still trying to catch my breath when I hear laughter. At first it’s quiet, but then she’s full on cackling into me.
I gently push her back so I can see her face, but keep her on my lap.
“What’s so funny?”
She pushes her sweat-soaked hair out of her eyes and then shakes her head. “We just dry humped like we were back in high school.”
“Just going back to our roots, I guess.”
We both laugh now and her hair falls back in front of her. This time I’m the one moving it out of her face. I keep my hand on the back of her head and lean down to kiss her softly.
This time when she pulls back I see something in her eyes that I didn’t know I was even missing.
Hope.
And it hits me harder than anything else tonight.