Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
She was on edge.
Of course, she was. They were lying on the ground, tucked under some bushes, after spending over a day walking through the Kenyan wilderness, with still a full day of walking ahead before they would reach the spot where a helicopter was going to pick them up.
She was dirty, exhausted, hungry, thirsty, and sore, and all she wanted was a hot shower, unlimited water, then a nice big, comfortable bed to curl up in so she could sleep for the next week.
But none of those reasons were why she felt edgy, shaky, like she had metaphorical ants in her pants.
It was the fear. Not just of being caught, or just of running into an animal that would see them as either a threat and kill them, or as dinner and kill and eat them, something they had thankfully so far managed to avoid.
It was the fear of losing Nathan. She knew what he was thinking, could see the shadow of guilt in his eyes every time he looked at her.
If he thought he was doing a good job of hiding it, he was sorely mistaken.
There was no doubt he was a good actor, he couldn’t do his job if he wasn't, but to her he seemed so easy to read.
Even that very first morning back in the cage, when he brought her breakfast and told her to kneel for him, she sensed something in him.
Honestly, wasn't another man there she would have gotten on her knees for that day.
“You're supposed to be resting.” His voice rumbled through the chest that was plastered across her back, and the hand that rested against her stomach tightened slightly, his fingers digging into her skin before he relaxed.
“Hard to sleep on the ground, it’s too … hard,” she explained, although it wasn't the rough ground keeping her awake. Emma was so exhausted she’d sleep anywhere, and she had dozed off and on throughout the night. But right now, sleep wasn't what she needed.
“Ha ha,” he said dryly, and then chuckled for real. “We have to get up soon, blondie. Close your eyes for a little bit longer and try to sleep, it’s going to be a long day, and I'm going to have to push you harder than I want to.”
“Don’t care how hard you push me, Nathan,” she assured him as she wriggled in his hold until she’d turned over so she was facing him. She liked the way his light brown eyes looked at her. They went soft, tender, and she could feel the affection every time he touched her. “You're why I can't sleep.”
“Me? What did I do?” he asked, his tone light, and she wondered what it would be like to spend time with Nathan when he wasn't playing a role or worried about her safety. When they could just be free and open, enjoy getting to know one another.
“You make me feel things I haven’t felt before,” she answered honestly. There had been times she’d thought she’d fallen in love, found the one, but she’d been wrong. Nothing she’d experienced had even come close to how a single gaze from Nathan seemed to sear its way right down into her soul.
“Right back at ya, blondie,” he said as he reached out and smoothed a lock of hair off her cheek, tucking it behind her ear and then letting his fingers linger on her skin.
This was stupid. Crazy. He was going to tell her no, and yet she knew she had to ask.
Emma had accepted that she might die in Africa, and even now that Nathan had found her and gotten her out, she still knew it was a possibility.
The wildlife, her buyer, all his men with guns, there were just too many opportunities for things to go wrong, and if she was going to die, she didn't want it to happen before she got to experience him.
“Remember the storage closet?” she started again, and she loved the way a grin broke out on Nathan’s handsome face.
“You know you don’t have to start with that story every time you want to ask me something, blondie. Don’t you know by now that I’d give you the universe to hold in the palm of your hand if I could?”
The thing was, she did know that, and it was why she had to do this. “Will you make love to me, Nathan?”
His eyes nearly bulged out of his head at her request. “Blondie, I—”
“Only say no if you don’t want me, Nathan, please.” She got it, he had to know she’d been sexually assaulted while she was there, even if he didn't know the details. If that made her dirty and ruined in his eyes, then she’d rather he just say it and get it over with.
A growl rumbled through him, and he grabbed her hips in a bruising grasp and rolled her on top of him. When she planted her palms on his chest and looked down at him, she found him glaring at her.
“Don’t like where you were heading there, blondie,” he grumbled.
“You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on, and I don’t just mean on the outside.
The way you fought, the way you held onto your principles, and tempered your fight with intelligence.
The way you ask for what you want, the way you got yourself out of hell, all of that is wildly attractive to me.
But I don’t want to take advantage of you. ”
“You're not,” she assured him. “You said it yourself, I ask for what I want. You don’t grow up in a house with eight sisters and not learn to speak up. If you didn't ask for what you wanted, you'd get lost in the crowd.”
“Eight sisters, huh?”
“Yep, my parents had nine girls to contend with, and I'm right in the middle. I want this, Nathan,” she said earnestly. “I want you.”
“Want you too, blondie.” The way his fingers dug into her skin was proof of that, as was the thick bulge pressed into the apex of her thighs. “But I want to take my time. Want to be able to strip you naked, and lick and kiss every inch of you. Want to worship this gorgeous body of yours.”
“I want that, too, but more than that, I just want to share this with you, in case …” She trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud.
Flipping them over so she was on her back, his body pressing her into the unforgiving ground, his gaze was fierce as he now looked down at her. “I will get you home, Emma.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” she soothed, curling her fingers into his shirt. “It’s that I'm scared of what you’ll do to make sure it happens.”
“Anything, that’s what I’ll do.”
“I know. That’s what scares me. Please, Nathan? You said you'd give me the universe, but I only want you.”
Wonder filled his eyes. “Even though I failed you, didn't save you, and got you brought here? You still want me that much?”
“You didn't fail me, and it’s not your fault I'm here. Sometimes saving someone doesn’t mean actually saving them, sometimes it just means giving them what they want, what they need.”
Her words seemed to be foreign to him if the way he cocked his head to the side was anything to go by.
“You’ve already saved me, Nathan. Because you were there for me, you protected me as best as you could, and you're here now, even though it cost you. Even if we don’t get home, you haven’t failed. You can't save everyone.”
Growling like he didn't like that idea, his head dipped until his lips hovered above hers. “Need to save you, blondie. Can't lose you.”
“You can't, we’re already too entwined. No matter what happens, a part of me will always belong to you.”
Those words seemed to snap the last of his control, and his lips took hers in a hungry kiss. Emma didn't hold back. If this one time was all she was going to get of Nathan, then she was going to take everything she could from it.
Balancing his weight with one hand, his other slipped between their bodies, inside her pants. She didn't have underwear on, so his fingers were free to stroke through her wetness, heading straight to her bud and circling it.
“Can't do this slow, blondie. Hard and fast, you good with that?”
“Sounds perfect,” she assured him, her hips already thrusting, seeking more.
More he was happy to give her if the way his fingers went to work was anything to go by.
They didn't let up, stroking, tweaking, slipping inside her to curl and brush across that spot that had her moaning as sparks of pleasure zinged throughout her.
Alternating between working her bundle of nerves and stroking deep inside her, it didn't take long for her breathing to go ragged as he worked her closer to ecstasy.
“So beautiful, blondie,” he murmured against her lips as he shifted slightly, making her mew a protest. Pumping his fingers into her a few times, she cried out again when he withdrew, even though it was only long enough to shove his pants and her own down enough for him to sink inside her.
That stretch was nothing short of perfect, and she hooked her ankles around his hips, drawing him deeper. Not that she’d thought he would disappoint, but sex with Nathan was everything she ever could have dreamed about.
True to his word, he worked her hard and fast, each thrust felt like he was reaching deep enough inside her body to hit her heart.
The kiss was hungry, and his hand on her bud had her muscles quivering and then going taut before an orgasm exploded inside her, tearing through her with a ferocity that felt as though he was claiming her.
She felt him come inside her. Sex without a condom wasn't smart, but it wasn't like they had a choice, and besides, she was clean, no one had raped her, so she hadn't caught anything these last few days, and it wasn't the right time of month for her to get pregnant. Even if she’d had a choice, she would have wanted him like this.
“The universe, sweetheart,” he murmured as he slumped down onto her just hard enough to make her feel as though she was cocooned in a little bubble of safety. “I'd give it to you if I could, and it still wouldn't be as much as you deserve.”