1. CHAPTER #3
Indy flopped across the couch. “Come on!” he wailed. “This is such bullshit. It could be sucking out my soul or something right now for all we know!”
“Don’t be silly. It doesn’t smell right for that.” Gammy waved her hand. “Now! Pause the tape. I need to see who wins this lip sync.” She melted into the couch and then disappeared.
“Hurry up or I’ll spoil it!” Indy called out. “I remember who wins this one!”
“Do so at your own peril!” she warned.
Indy managed a chuckle, grabbing the remote off the coffee table to pause the episode. He scrubbed a hand over his face, his left, and immediately scowled when he realized what he’d done. He glared at the ring, his eyes narrowed as he muttered, “You suck. So hard. You and the old man.”
This was his life now.
Working for a demon, blowing monster dick, and watching drag queens with the ghost of his dead great-grandmother, who was currently trying to find a spell to remove a magical and very likely cursed ring.
Yup.
Living the dream.
There was a loud knock at the door.
Indy frowned.
No one ever came around unless they were selling something or had the wrong address. The thirteen on the door was worn and often mistaken for eighteen, so it wasn’t unusual for a person to show up trying to drop off pizza or something Indy hadn’t ordered.
Indy approached the door, pausing when his left thumb tingled.
The bunny was glowing red.
Shit.
Indy’s stomach dropped.
That meant a demon was at their door, but why?
Mr. Kalt didn’t have any reason to show up unannounced.
Plus, it was the middle of the day, and that fucker tended to party all night and sleep all day.
It couldn’t be a client because none of them knew where Indy lived, though he had the immediate thought that this had something to do with the ring.
Weird cursed jewelry and a demon showing up?
Probably connected.
He peeked through the peephole to see what he was dealing with.
The demon was in a human disguise as a handsome man with bright blue eyes, salt-and-pepper hair, and a sharp three-piece suit. There was a white flower in his lapel, some sort of lily. Indy had never seen him before and quickly retreated.
Okay, think.
Indy had to think.
The apartment had all kinds of magical shit keeping monsters out thanks to Gammy, so there was absolutely no fucking way that anything could get through that door unless it was a dragon or something. It was fine. It was fine, even if he couldn’t shake this horrible feeling, and he—
Something rattled behind Indy.
He recognized the sound as one of Gammy’s teapots, specifically the one shaped like a strawberry that hung out on the coffee table. He slowly turned, nails flexed and ready to deal out a hurting, but he quickly realized…
He had no idea what he was dealing with.
First of all, the episode he’d paused was playing again.
Secondly, and more importantly, there was a monster in his living room.
Which should have been impossible considering all the magical doodads everywhere, the same ones hopefully keeping the demonic visitor at the door from getting in.
Either this was a very powerful beast or—Indy warily glanced at his ring—he had inadvertently brought this monster inside without even knowing it.
The monster stood by the coffee table, staring at the TV and completely mesmerized by ChiChi Devayne breaking beads and delivering arguably one of the most epic lip syncs of all time.
It was big and broad with an overall masculine build, and its head and shoulders were covered by a green hooded shawl.
Its skin was dark and made up of segmented pieces—like bark.
Its hair was long thick green strands that Indy now recognized as vines, and there were clusters of leaves and other greenery that appeared to be sprouting right out of its skin.
The entire monster was a living sculpture of nature, a beast birthed by the deepest and darkest woods with a pair of cervine antlers upon its head and big black eyes also reminiscent of those of a deer.
A leshy.
It was a leshy.
The leshy turned its head and blinked at Indy.
Indy blinked back.
The leshy screamed.
Indy screamed.
“What’s wrong?” Gammy screamed from the other room. “What’s going on?”
The leshy’s body warped and distorted, bones crunching as it shifted. They were known for their incredible transformations, and there was no telling what it was about to turn into.
The door burst open, and the demon stalked inside.
There was an audible pop as the wards broke, and Indy scrambled back toward the couch, shouting to Gammy, “Uh, lots! The short answer is fucking lots!” After nearly hitting the coffee table, he glanced over his shoulder to locate the leshy.
But it wasn’t there.
However, a new item had appeared on the coffee table.
It was a pickle.
Before Indy could wrap his brain around the leshy becoming a pickle, of all absurd things, his attention was redirected to the demon closing in on him who had shed his human suit to reveal his true demonic form.
Purple skin, flaming blue eyes, a crown of fire hovering over his big black horns.
Well, fuck.
Indy recognized him now.
This was Mr. Heiss.