7. CHAPTER #3
Misingno was tall, broad, and thick. He was honestly scrumptious, his body pushing the seams of his funny bathing suit.
It was one of those old Victorian ones that covered everything, and it was hot pink.
His skin was a warm shade of brown, his short hair dark and curly, and his eyes bright.
He had a strong jawline and a smile like a Cheshire cat framed by a thick mustache.
As he looked over them all, the colors of his eyes shifted.
Green.
Blue.
Gold.
It was honestly mesmerizing.
“Oh, hey.” Misingno waved. “What’s up?”
“My new friends have need of you!” Nyp gave another big bow.
Misingno gazed over toward Mr. Heiss and Indy. He didn’t seem to notice Dill. He waved again and flashed a big smile. “Hola.”
Indy waved back slowly.
While his personal interactions with fae were blissfully rare, he was well aware of how dangerous they were. Fae were masters of wordplay and could turn one misspoken syllable into an eternity of torture for their own amusement. He knew he had to be on guard and choose his every word carefully.
“So, uh. Whatcha need?” Misingno asked with a friendly little grin.
“Jobbuko sap,” Indy replied slowly.
“Cool. I got some of that.” Misingno inexplicably had a chocolate popsicle. He gave it a big lick. “What are you gonna pay?”
Indy hummed. “What is the price?”
“What are you offering?”
Fuck.
Indy gave Mr. Heiss’s arm a squeeze.
Some help with dealing with a fae would be so super cool right now.
“You will take nothing that harms him,” Mr. Heiss said sternly, his demonic form bleeding through his disguise. “This mortal is mine. Whatever you desire of him, you must—”
“I like pain,” Misingno said as he strolled down the stairs, coming right up to them. “Not in the fun, sexy way, but mmm, the memory kind. And yours smells especially delicious.” His shifting eyes danced over Mr. Heiss as he licked his popsicle. “How about… a trade?”
“No,” Mr. Heiss replied immediately. His horns broke through his mask, his eyes flamed up, and his tail cracked across the sand.
Fuck.
Misingno grinned, and his teeth turned into rows of sharp pointy fangs. His eyes became black pools, and the entire world quivered as if it was no longer solid but instead made of oil simmering in a hot pan.
Nyp was backing away, glancing over his shoulder toward the doorway they’d come through.
Well, double fuck.
So, this was bad.
Really bad.
Dill tilted his head and beamed excitedly. “Grow?”
“No! No growing!” Indy hissed as he quickly pushed himself in front of Mr. Heiss. “Hey, babe. Hi. So, pain is your thing?”
Misingno swirled his tongue around the popsicle and winked, his features shifting slowly back. “Amongst many others.”
“Here. Check it. Twenty-fourth birthday. I got wasted, thought a printer in my friend’s office was a toilet, shit all over it. You wanna talk about pain? Try waking up the next morning and trying to lie your way through shitting on a printer and blaming it on the dog.”
Misingno stared. “Did it work?”
“Fuck no! And I had to apologize to the dog. In writing. To a dog. Another horrible memory I will include for free. Absolute horror show.” Indy held up two fingers. “You get both memories, all that yummy angst, and you hand over that sap.”
Misingno pursed his lips. “Doesn’t seem so enticing.” He let out a small giggle. “Okay, but I am very curious about the apology…”
“It was handwritten. On stationery.”
“Oh! What kind?”
“Just trust me when I say it’s a pain I would kill to make go away.” Indy held out his hand. “We have a deal?”
Misingno shrugged. “I suppose.”
Indy grabbed Misingno’s hand. “We have a deal.”
There was a faint tickle in the back of Indy’s brain as the memory was lifted away, and then there was pressure in his back pocket as an item was deposited there. It was done. It was over.
Right?
Misingno smacked his lips. “Mmm, not bad. Ha! With penises? And his grandmother found it? I lied. This is great!” He turned back around to head inside his pinecone house.
He gave Nyp a little pat on the head as he strolled by.
“Nighty night now.” His door shut, and the magical beach world poofed away.
They were standing back inside the magic shop, and the doorway was gone.
“There!” Nyp clapped his hands. “See? Everything worked out great. Isn’t it nice to have friends? Such wonderful, thoughtful friends? And now since I helped you, maybe you could—”
“Fuck off and die, or fuck off at least,” Mr. Heiss growled. “We’re leaving. Now.”
Mr. Heiss and Indy were in the limo in a blink, but they were seated beside each other on the back seat this time.
Jesus fuck, Indy was going to have brain damage from the teleporting shit.
Indy quickly checked his pocket, pulling out a small bottle of red fluid.
He hoped that was the sap, but he would honestly have no idea until Gammy examined it.
He opened his mouth to ask about the bag of other ingredients, but then it appeared next to him.
He sighed in relief and hugged the bag tight. “Going back to your place, right?”
“Yes.” Mr. Heiss made a face. “And now that we have your… caboose juice ingredients? What else do you require?”
“I need a strong drink, a big towel, and some loving cuddles.”
“You can have two of those.”
“Yeah, fine. I can deal with the mess without the towel, but your rug is about to be fucked.”