16. CHAPTER
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
“Of all the fucking times for King to actually be right!” Indy wailed. “Fuck!”
“Who the hell is that?” Seymour demanded.
“Mr. Mitternacht. Asshole demon. Like, an actual asshole demon who keeps trying to fucking kill me—”
“What the fuck? I’ve gotta call Sariel right now.” Seymour scrambled for his phone while Day meowed frantically. “And Lou. Fuck, do I have Zol’s number? I think I do. Shit. Do I want to call him—”
“Do not call him!” Mr. Heiss growled furiously.
“Maybe call him!” Indy argued. “Because that guy is a serious fucking bastard!”
“Hey, hey, everybody calm down!” Neil raised his hands. “Will you please listen to me for a second?”
“Did you miss the part where there’s a bastard ass demon out there?” Indy snapped back.
Neil scoffed. “And did you miss the part where we’re all inside a giant magical house who literally helped kill a unicorn?”
IT IS TRUE
I AM AMAZING
“Izba can take out that jerk the second he steps under that awning.” Neil shrugged. “Plus, uh, Mr. Heiss is in here, and last I counted, we have three Artifact spirits here. Like Buffy.” Who was now perched on the counter and purring away.
Seymour smiled, scooping Day up into his arms. “And Day.”
“And Dill.” Indy smiled warmly as Dill lumbered up to him, and his nerves stepped down from meltdown mode. “Okay. Right. Yes. Good.”
“So, yeah.” Neil waved at the door. “Look at ’em. He’s just standing there waiting for us to come out. New plan. We don’t do that and wait for the cavalry to arrive.”
Mr. Mitternacht did indeed appear ready to wait where he stood a few feet away from the entrance of the flower shop, still very much a demon in the middle of a public area where a crowd had formed around the flaming limo.
Indy didn’t know if it was some sort of trick because a demon should still have drawn some attention, but no one else seemed to see him.
Which was weird.
Mr. Mitternacht, illusion or not, looked right at Indy through the shattered window and smiled. He held out his hand, and there was something glittering in his palm.
A pair of quartz earrings.
Gammy.
Indy’s heart stopped. “No.”
Mr. Heiss tried to hold him. “Indy, don’t—”
“Dill, get Mr. Heiss the fuck off me!” Indy flailed furiously. “Right now! Grow, babe!”
“Grow!” Dill roared happily.
“Listen to me!” Mr. Heiss demanded. “It’s a trick! Clearly—” He grunted as Dill suddenly bundled him up in a tangle of thick vines. “Indy, don’t you dare go—”
“Not the boss of me!” Indy was already headed for the door, his heart in his throat and knots of cement weighing his guts down.
He had no idea what would happen if Gammy’s anchor object was broken.
She had always been able to move between different items, but breaking one while she was still attached?
They were so far away from the apartment with the rest of her stuff, and all Indy could think about was the chance that her soul would be lost.
However small, that was not a risk he was willing to take.
Not with her.
It was Gammy—his best friend, his only friend, and also the only family he had left. He would be lost without her.
Also very, very dead.
He had to save her.
But the door wouldn’t open.
No matter how hard he tried, it wouldn’t budge.
Stupid magical ass flower shop.
“Izba! The fuck?” Indy didn’t bother turning around to see whatever Izba was clacking away about on his board, his attention on the broken window.
“Indy!” Seymour shouted. “Will ya’ hang on a damn minute?”
Indy jumped through the window, snapping his left thumb nail and pulling out the iron staff. He held it high over his head, glaring hatefully at Mr. Mitternacht. “Put those down right fucking now.” His eyes flicked all around, trying to see where Gammy was but seeing no sign of her. “I said now!”
Mr. Mitternacht grinned. “Humans. So very predictable.”
Indy stared in horror as Mr. Mitternacht vanished. “Oh shi—”
The crowd around Indy erupted in a frantic roar of screams and shouts, and everything turned dark.
Wait, why was it so dark?
A shadow.
There was a shadow over Indy, and it was growing…
Because whatever was creating it was above him and getting closer.
Indy looked up just in time to see a giant winged something swooping right at him. He tried to swing the staff but it was too late. Claws dug into his shoulders, stabbing in deep like knives, and he screamed as he left the ground.
This thing was carrying him up into the air, higher and higher.
The pain was excruciating, but Indy quickly realized that this monster’s horrible grip was now the only thing keeping him from turning into a splatter on the sidewalk. He dropped his staff, hoping it didn’t land on anyone below, and he grabbed the ankles of whatever monster was holding him.
Gray skin, big claws, tremendous leathery wings, long tail.
A gargoyle.
Fabulous.
The view he had up the gargoyle’s loincloth was practically pornographic, but knowing that this bastard was uncut wasn’t exactly helping Indy’s current predicament. He couldn’t punch him in the balls because then he’d drop Indy, and they were already soaring over the city’s tallest building—
There!
They were about to pass over a big rooftop.
Fuck this noise.
Indy took a deep breath, reared back as far as the pain would allow, and swung upward as hard as he could, socking the gargoyle directly in his sack.
The gargoyle screamed and flailed, his talons releasing Indy.
Indy screamed, too, since he was falling now, and he cringed as he prepared to land on the not so soft roof.
He didn’t think Dill would be able to catch up to him, but he kissed the hell out of the ring anyway.
He might have only seconds before he literally collided with a world of agony, and all he could think about was this wasn’t the first time he’d socked a monster in the crotch.
First time he’d done it without being paid though.
Strong arms seized Indy’s middle, the grip so tight that it knocked the breath out of him. His chest throbbed, and every breath was agony. He wheezed and kicked, swinging his arms wildly. The touch wasn’t Dill’s, and Indy had no idea who had him until his fist made contact with a firm jaw.
“Ow!” Mr. Heiss growled.
“Mr. Heiss!” Indy squealed.
“Are you all right?” Mr. Heiss shifted Indy around so he was cradled against his chest. He had fully transformed, his wings out and flapping furiously as he headed to the rooftop below them.
“Other than the stabbing part, yeah!” Indy tried to catch his breath, gasping hard. “I’m so fucking good right now.”
“Good!” Mr. Heiss gave him a shake. “Because you are an absolute idiot!” he roared, his voice morphing between anguish and fury. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
Indy may have been delirious because all he could do was laugh. “I… I was thinking… I didn’t want to lose her.”
Mr. Heiss landed on the rooftop and kissed Indy firmly, though he still glared. “When I tell you to do something, you are to obey. I am smarter than you. I am more knowledgeable and if I am trying to tell you that something is not real, you need to listen. Do you understand?”
“But she was—”
Mr. Heiss groaned. “I don’t give a singular fuck if it was actually her. I don’t care about your dead grandmother. I care about you, you ridiculous little moron.”
Indy cupped Mr. Heiss’s cheek, pulling him in for another kiss. He let this one linger, mumbling, “It is amazing how you can be nice and still, like, a total asshole at the same time.”
Mr. Heiss sighed and cracked a tiny smile. “I am very talented.”
“Yeah, yeah. So, maybe I will try to listen better or whatever.” Indy rolled his eyes.
That was when he noticed the sky darkening again.
Very dark.
He looked up.
“Okay,” he said slowly, “but maybe we can talk about this, uh, later? Because that seems to be a slightly bigger problem.”
The gargoyle who had grabbed Indy was back and had about fifty of his friends with him.
Fucking fabulous.
Mr. Heiss narrowed his eyes. “Where is your leshy?”
“Good question.” Indy blinked as he looked around, spying a familiar flash of green crawling up over the edge of the roof. “Dill!”
“Tell him to shield you or get you the hell out of here,” Mr. Heiss said firmly as he set Indy down. “Now.”
“What are you—”
“We do not have time. Did we not just have a discussion about listening?”
Dill managed to make it over the edge. He seemed out of breath as he lumbered toward them, staring at the incoming swarm. “Grow?”
“No time,” Mr. Heiss said quickly. “Protect Indy.”
Dill gave Mr. Heiss a stubborn look, but he grabbed Indy in a bear hug, wrapping him up in a thick tangle of vines and foliage.
“Hey, hey! No!” Indy protested. “I do not want to go in the ball!”
“Ball,” Dill said simply.
“Who’s your boss, huh? Me or him? Dammit, Dill!” Indy tried to squirm but soon he couldn’t move at all. He could see through a tiny crack in the leaves, and he had no idea what Mr. Heiss was about to do.
First, there was light.
Sky blue, deep cerulean, violet, and then shining white so bright that it stung Indy’s eyes.
Next came a flutter, and the wings in Mr. Heiss’s back doubled.
Wait, tripled.
Now he had six magnificent wings, three on each side and descending in scale, and all of them were scorched and burning with the incredible light.
Dozens of eyes suddenly erupted from the feathers, lavender and gleaming and full of flames.
His crown exploded with pale purple fire, strange black tendrils curled over his body, and then the light completely whited out his form, obscuring Indy’s vision of what was happening.
It was over in seconds, and Indy was only aware Mr. Heiss had taken off into the sky because the ball of light moved upward right into the middle of the gargoyles. He hadn’t been able to see all of the transformation, but he was certain Mr. Heiss had gotten much, much bigger.
And more eyeball-y.
Eyeball-ish?
Whatever.