20. CHAPTER #3
“I—” Indy couldn’t breathe, his heart pounding so hard it was sure to burst out through his eyeballs.
The only thing grounding him was the grip of Mr. Heiss’s hand, and every little plan in his head to keep his secret, to hide the awful truth, was currently turning to mush inside his skull. “Look, I…”
“You’re annoying.” Mr. Heiss smirked, cocky even though his gaze glowed with warmth.
“You’re materialistic and stubborn, hopelessly vain and arrogant.
But you’re also kind, brave, and completely unflinching in the face of danger for the ones you love.
You carry such a weight upon you, one you don’t want anyone to see, and instead of withering away as so many others would?
You thrive upon it. You choose to live. You choose to fight.
You challenge me. To be quite frank, you piss me off.
But you make me laugh. You make me smile.
And I have never enjoyed a single moment of time more than those I’ve spent with you. ”
“Hey, okay, we need to… You…” Indy’s eyes burned and he had to keep blinking to hold back tears as his heart ached.
“Look, goddammit, you can’t just say all this sweet, nice shit and, and just—” He growled and rubbed his face, his stomach congealing into concrete.
“I am so glad, like, wow, so glad we had this talk, and, and you opened up? But I have to—”
“Indy,” Mr. Heiss said gently. “Breathe. Remember what that’s like? Breathing?”
“Fuck off,” Indy croaked, but he did try to take a few quick breaths to keep himself from hyperventilating.
His chest tightened, and he grabbed it, cringing in pain.
The room spun as the agony rose, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
He coughed violently, turning his head as he swallowed back a mouthful of blood.
“Indy?” Mr. Heiss was alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” Indy gulped again and again, trying to choke down the lump in his throat alongside the bitter taste of blood. He coughed, harder now, and he tried to cover his mouth and turn away. The blood splashed through his fingers, and there was no way to hide it this time.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Indy,” Mr. Heiss said, his voice thick with worry as he held Indy close. “Is that blood?”
Indy wheezed and clutched at his chest, trying not to panic. “Raph, I…”
There was no going back.
This was it.
What more could Indy offer to a demon baring his soul than doing the same in return?
“I am terrified that I’m about to fuck up everything when I tell you this,” Indy whispered, gasping softly.
“Because maybe I’m wrong. Shit. I might ruin fucking everything and you might fucking hate me.
” He coughed and grimaced miserably. “I don’t want to be wrong, but it’s never going to be the fucking same and—”
“One thing I have learned in my very, very long life is this,” Mr. Heiss soothed. “Yes, things may change. But sometimes that change is necessary. Yes, it is true that they may never be the same, but that itself is an opportunity. With change comes the chance for them to be better.”
Indy searched Mr. Heiss’s face, some tortured part of his brain still certain this was a trick.
It had to be a lie, like the lies of the Celestial, the lies of his own family and friends saying they’d always be there only to vanish when Indy hit absolute rock bottom.
And yet, Indy found no sign of trickery or deceit, which he knew demons were great at hiding, so the only part of himself he could trust was his heart.
And his heart…
It had already decided some time ago, so he let himself listen.
Fuck it.
“Okay, I’m dying,” Indy blurted out, the words followed by a short sob.
“I have advanced lung adenocarcinoma. Cancer. I have fucking cancer. They gave me five years, and well, well, I said fuck that. It’s why I found all of Gammy’s magical shit and summoned a demon and made a deal with Mr Kalt.
I didn’t want to die. I still don’t! And, and I didn’t want to tell you because, ha, the whole Artifact thing and thinking you’d just let me die to get it for yourself.
And because, wow, I think I actually found something I’m more afraid of than dying.
And it’s, it’s that you might never feel the same way about me that I do about you.
Because, because, hey, surprise, you’re an asshole!
“But you’re my asshole. You’re sweet, you’re thoughtful, you make me laugh, too, and I like listening to you talk.
I like watching TV with you and eating food and just, like, hanging out.
So, yeah, sorry for lying and shit. I guess I’m the asshole now, and yup.
My turn. Yay. That’s it. There you go. Sorry for lying about being, like, all terminal and whatever.
” He took a deep breath. “And okay, just so you know, if it turns out I’m wrong and you’re really gonna let me die, then know I will haunt you for fucking ever and—”
Mr. Heiss kissed him.
Slow but firm.
Loving.
And then Mr. Heiss said, “It’s all right.”
“But—” Indy scoffed. “I lied to you. About everything!”
Mr. Heiss smiled. “And…?”
“And what? What the fuck?”
“I already knew.”