20. CHAPTER #2
“Ethan was always pleased by his unexpected luck, but he wanted more, so much more, and I was stupid enough to give it to him. He’d become my whole world and I didn’t care what happened as long as he was with me and happy to be in my company.
I made the other stock boy sick so Ethan would be the only one working and make more money.
He was happy for a time, but soon he complained about how everyone else sat around doing nothing and he broke his back earning a fraction of what they did.
“So, I went after the manager and his uncle, too, so they’d have no choice but to let Ethan take over.
I was so blinded by my desire and love for this man that I couldn’t see what I was becoming…
or Ethan. The same greed I resented in my own kind was festering in him, and yes, in myself too.
I didn’t realize it was too late until the day his uncle turned up dead.
They said he’d drowned, too weak from his recent illness to fight the current, and that it was some kind of accident, but I knew in my heart that wasn’t true.
I went to Ethan in the woods to confront him, and that’s when I found the birds. ”
Indy’s heart dropped, and he squeezed Mr. Heiss’s hand tight.
“He’d killed them. Every single one. Didn’t even bother butchering them in any humane way where at least they could have been used for meat.
He simply destroyed them and left them to rot on the ground as if they were trash.
I couldn’t find Miss Alabaster, but I was certain she was dead too.
She couldn’t fly away, after all, and Ethan had clearly shown none of them any mercy.
I’d never known such rage, such hate, and I was filled with the need for vengeance.
I made up my mind then and there that I was going to kill Ethan and make him pay for what he’d done.
“I went to his home and found his mother dead too. Suffocated with a pillow. He walked in the room while I was trying to save her, and he laughed at me. Laughed. It was as pure and happy as the very sound that had first drawn me to this world. The irony was lost on me then, but I used to think about it often for years after. Ethan said he didn’t understand what I was doing when I was the one who had shown him the way.
He knew I’d made the stock boy and the manager and his uncle sick, and that this was the next logical step.
“He’d made sure he was in his uncle’s will before he killed him, and now he didn’t have anything else holding him back.
Every obstacle had been removed, and he was finally going to get what he wanted, and he would let nothing stop him.
Not his mother, not the birds. Not even me.
He was going to sell the store, sell the house, and go to the big city, like he had always dreamed of.
And if I wasn’t going to come with him, then he’d have to make me go away too.
“So, I let him.”
Indy tensed. “What do you mean you let him?”
“I let him kill me. Or at least, let him think he did.”
“Wait, wait! Hey!” Indy sat up. “What happened to vengeance and making him pay? Hello? The fucker killed your birds! You were supposed to kill him the fuck back!”
“I loved him,” Mr. Heiss said simply. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Even with all the pain he’d caused me and how he’d broken my heart… I couldn’t.” He laughed bitterly. “Pitiful, isn’t it? A powerful being such as I completely helpless before the ridiculous flesh bag he loved.”
“No, not pitiful.” Indy frowned. “Maybe stupid…”
“Very.”
“You could have tried to kill him back a tiny bit.”
“No.”
“Just a little.”
Mr. Heiss snorted. “Well, after he threw me in the river like his uncle, I waited for a while and then swam back to shore. I was confused, defeated, angry, and I wanted nothing more than to go back home. It was too late then. As soon as I came out of the water, I knew I’d fallen.
It might have happened before and I hadn’t noticed.
But without Ethan there, I could feel it.
The pain, the agony of the Light leaving me.
I tried to fight it, I still tried to return, but the angels cast me out, stole my Light, and sent me back to the bank of that river to burn.
“I thought, if only for a moment, that everything they had said was true. That this world was one that served only to make us betray our own kind. That I would never know the joy of the Light ever again and had thrown it all away based on a lie. Ethan had never cared about me, after all. Every moment we’d spent together was only to help himself.
He’d only sought to use me, even if he hadn’t understood what I truly was.
“But while I was lying there, suffering the consequences of my own ignorant, naive actions, I heard a sound. One that was familiar and yet felt new. Although it was sad, I found such joy in it. I felt the Light again, there in that moment, even while broken and betrayed. It was powerful and beautiful and reassuring. Because I knew exactly who it was calling out to me.”
Indy perked up. “Miss Alabaster?”
“Yes.” Mr. Heiss’s smile was warmer now.
“She could fly. I don’t know why she hadn’t before, but she had managed to escape Ethan’s slaughter and somehow found me there by the river.
I knew then it was possible not only to find the Light here on this world but to find it within myself on my own.
I didn’t need angels, I didn’t need humans, no one else but me.
” He chuckled. “And my bird. Who I blessed with everlasting life so she’d always be with me, even as I took my place as a demon and chose my new name for my new life.
I didn’t go back to that town for many years, not until I saw a certain house was up for sale. ”
“Ethan’s.” Indy glanced around the room. “This was Ethan’s house.”
“Yes. His mother’s. I bought it, moved it away into a private world, and created a facsimile of it here in Somerstown to live in. Miss Alabaster was fond of the library, in particular, and I kept that room the same to remember her by.”
“Remember her? Wait.” Indy shook his head. “You said you gave her everlasting life or whatever. So, like, immortal bird. What happened?”
“I wish I had something poetic to tell you. That some creatures are not meant to be caged and I made a good, sound decision to grant her freedom. But I didn’t care about any of that.
I wanted her to stay. I wanted something with me to make me happy that could never leave.
” Mr. Heiss snorted out a laugh. “Bought her some treats the same year The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars came out and when I went to feed her, the little bitch flew out the window.”
“Wait? What?” Indy gasped. “Where?”
“In the world below. The real house. The one I brought you to before.”
“So, there is an immortal dove just flying around the woods out there?”
“Yes.”
“And… she never came back?”
“No.” Mr. Heiss shook his head. “It felt wrong to try trapping her again. So, I leave food. There’s always clean water. And we simply go about our lives apart from one another. Whatever it is she wants, it’s not me.”
“Did you ever try getting her another dove?”
“A what?” Mr. Heiss stared.
“Another dove. Maybe that’s why she left.
She was just, you know, looking for her own version of the Light.
But in dove form.” Indy shrugged. “We all want somewhere to belong. To have a companion, a friend, or whatever. We want that connection. That’s pretty much what the Light is, or at least that’s what it sounds like.
You tried to find it in Ethan, but he sucked ass.
So, then you had Miss Alabaster. Maybe she was happy with you for a while, but what she needed was, like, a bird connection. And that’s what she’s trying to find.”
“I suppose.” Mr. Heiss frowned.
“I bet if you find her a cute little dove boyfriend, you’ll see her again. Or a girlfriend. I dunno. One of each. Give her a bird harem.”
Mr. Heiss chuckled. “I’ll think about it.”
“Is this why…” Indy traced his thumb over the back of Mr. Heiss’s knuckles. “You hate humans? Because of Ethan?”
“While I never let anyone get that close to me again, Ethan was only the first of many humans who disappointed me. It’s easy to be angry when everyone you meet continues to prove you right.” Mr. Heiss glanced down at their joined hands. “I thought you were like that too.”
“What? Vapid, superficial, blah blah?”
“Yes. And I was wrong.” Mr. Heiss looked up to meet Indy’s eyes. “I once held an angel as my prisoner to harness both his power and to feel the Light again—”
“Yeah, I heard about that.”
“Oh, did you?”
“Yup. Heard there was a lot of weird sexy stuff.”
Mr. Heiss scoffed. “There was no weird sexy stuff.”
“But hey, wait, didn’t you find a way to make your own Light? With Miss Alabaster and all that? You know, by yourself?”
“Yes, but there was always a part of me that still longed for the true Light. I think all fallen crave it even if we never want to admit it. I imagine it’s a punishment. Feeling that void that can never be filled. It’s probably something built into us to make us suffer for being cast out. But…”
“But?”
“What I had before and even what I knew as an angel in the Light of the Celestial?” Mr. Heiss brought Indy’s hand up for a soft kiss. “They’re all nothing but mere shadows when compared to what I feel when I am with you.”