Chapter 15
I’D DONE MORE THAN POKE the sleeping tiger this time. I’d opened his jaws and put my tastiest bits inside his mouth, and I couldn’t find the self-preservation to regret any of it.
As I reached for the buttons on my blouse, I had to fight to keep my hands from shaking. Taking off my clothes was supposed to be the easy part. I’d already done it for him once before so why did I feel so nervous?
“Start with your shoes, Alexandra.” Erik studied me from a few steps away, his arms crossed in front of him, making the neckline of his pale-gray shirt gap.
He hadn’t worn a tie—just the dress shirt and charcoal slacks—and under other circumstances, I’d relish the glimpse of his chest the open collar gave me.
Or I would if my brain wasn’t stuttering over his words.
Taking off my shoes should be the simplest thing in the world.
Hell, you can do that kind of thing in front of anyone, but my mind was already spinning ahead to what came after.
I’d spent more than my fair share of time naked in front of men but it had always been with an element of performance.
I stripped to entice, starting with my blouse and ending with my shoes and with each piece I removed, my power grew.
Standing naked or mostly naked in my heels while I watched the man in front of me wrestle with lack of blood flow to his brain was something I was very comfortable with.
Taking off my shoes and then my clothes wouldn’t be stripping; it would be baring myself.
Making myself vulnerable instead of being the one gaining the upper hand with each stitch of clothing.
“Use your safe word if you want to stop. Otherwise, take off your shoes. Now.” Erik pinned me with his gaze, holding me in place with nothing more than his command and his eyes glued to mine. I had no doubt he knew exactly what he was doing to me and that’s exactly why he was doing it.
No way was I going to use my safe word over a pair of shoes. I toed off my pumps, grimacing as I dropped four inches in height.
“Good girl.”
I rolled my eyes at him as I curled my toes into the incredibly soft carpet. Instead of the behave or I’ll punish you bullshit I expected, he laughed, a deep, throaty chuckle that warmed me from the inside.
“Skirt.” He relaxed his stance and waited for me to comply. As if there were any doubt.
I reached around to the small of my back to unzip the skirt and felt the fabric of my blouse drag over my aching breasts.
Even covered in lace, they were so sensitive I was afraid by the time Erik actually got around to touching me, I might self-combust. I wanted this—wanted him so much; it made it difficult to breathe.
Shimmying the skirt over my hips, I let it drop to the floor and stepped out of it.
“Leave it,” he said when I started to bend to pick it up.
I had no trouble obeying that command. Without my panties—even crazier, without my shoes—I felt bare. Exposed. Vulnerable.
“Thank you for trusting me.” He took a step toward me and my pulse kicked up a notch. Or a hundred.
When he reached for the buttons on my blouse, I could barely hear over the whooshing of my heartbeat hammering in my ear. With fingers steadier than mine, Erik made quick work of the blouse, sliding the silk over my shoulders without ever really touching me.
“Turn around.”
I did, grateful for a chance to hide, if just for a moment.
With every moment we spent together in that room and every inch of my skin he bared, this thing between us became more real.
I wasn’t pretending to submit or to make myself vulnerable.
I was willingly surrendering control to him.
I closed my eyes for a moment, afraid the honesty would overwhelm me.
I didn’t want to quit but I didn’t know how to keep going, so I waited for him to tell me what to do.
His fingers brushed my back as he unfastened the clasp on my bra.
So desperate for his touch, I had to fight the urge to curl into him, to demand his hands on my skin.
But this time wasn’t about demanding. It was about giving and accepting, about learning my limits and about trust and honesty, so I stilled myself with uncharacteristic patience and waited for the scrap of lace to fall away, leaving me completely exposed.
Goose bumps pebbled my flesh, and my nipples tightened to impossibly hard peaks, but I stayed still, frozen in place, waiting for Erik’s next instruction.
He moved away from me, and I didn’t turn around.
I didn’t trust myself to—not and be able to maintain any semblance of control.
I heard the slide of a drawer and my mind shot to the nipple clamps he’d pocketed from my studio.
The ones I’d never had the nerve to try with anyone before.
My body was strung tight as a bow, and I felt myself tremble.
He’d see it, see the tremors moving through me in anticipation of his touch, and he’d know he was the cause, but there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
Unless I was willing to end things, I had no choice but to wait for him to show me what he wanted from me.
He gathered my hair together in a thick ponytail before sectioning it and making quick work of plaiting it.
I felt him tug the end and heard the snap of an elastic band and then he stepped back again, letting the braid fall against my back.
“Turn around.”
The low command should be nothing, the easiest thing in the world, but when I turned, I’d be facing him. He’d be able to look into my eyes and then there really wouldn’t be anywhere to hide. I inhaled, hating the way my breath fluttered and loving it at the same time. I turned.
“My God, you’re beautiful.” Erik said the words as if they were more than a compliment, as if they were something deeper, something sacred. He tipped my chin up with his fingers, forcing me to meet his gaze.
I fought the urge to blink. To try to hide. And then my gaze met his and I fell into his whiskey-colored eyes, lost myself in the honest appreciation I saw and the surety that whatever happened, this man wouldn’t let me fall. He was strong enough to hold me when I needed it.
“I don’t know what to do.” I paused, not sure how to explain my feelings.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I do.”
The certainty in his response washed over me, and I let out a shaky breath. This man. This man was strong enough to master me. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to let go, but I wanted to be.
“I’m going to give you a choice. I wouldn’t normally, but nothing about this is normal for me.”
He reached forward and cupped my cheek, the tenderness made more powerful by the fact that I was naked in front of him. Bared for our mutual pleasure.
“Usually we’d have worked our way up to the flogger.
By the time we got there, I’d know exactly what you needed.
Since this is our starting point, you can decide whether you want to be bound or whether you trust yourself to be able to hold still.
” He searched my face, and I swallowed, but didn’t hide.
“Choose, beautiful.” His thumb brushed my bottom lip and my mouth parted in anticipation.
I didn’t have to think about it. It wasn’t even close. Despite the amount of time I spent tied up, I’d never really been bound before. I’d never given over that kind of control to anyone. I wanted to give it to him.
“Bind me. Please.”