19. Lainey
Lainey
“I’m so happy I was able to get that appointment for you.
” Birdie smiled as we got back into the car.
“I know what Dr. Witten said feels scary, but it’s good that he caught it early.
It might just be something that ends up being nothing, but it’s better to be on top of things.
Probably just all the stress with everything happening so quickly…
I can come help you take your blood pressure, if you want. ”
Birdie was rambling as I clicked the seat belt under my belly and let my head rest against the seat.
Yeah, I was scared. Dr. Witten said it was probably just white-coat syndrome or nerves as I got closer to my due date, but I was sent out of the office with directions to monitor my blood pressure this week and report immediately to Labor and Delivery if I had any of the symptoms that were listed on the print out he gave me.
“Every day?”
Her smile wavered. “Well, yeah. I mean, we both are right on the ranch, and it’s no problem to scoop Juniper up and trek over to see you at Lach’s place.”
There was a question in her voice. I heard it loud and clear. It was the same one she’d wanted to ask the day after I left Greg.
“No, that’s okay. Can we just stop at the pharmacy before we head back out to the ranch? I’ll grab a blood pressure machine there.”
“A machine won’t be as effective in tracking your blood pressure as I could be.”
I glared at my phone, trying not to shoot my annoyance at my sister. It wasn’t her fault I was in this position. And I knew she would give anything for it to be her who was the pregnant lady in this car. Honestly, I probably would, too.
I pulled out my phone, smiling at the message waiting for me from Lachlan.
Let me know how it goes.
He’d sent it ten minutes ago, but I still responded.
It went fine.
Three dots immediately lit up my screen as Birdie pulled out from the parking lot.
Fine…what does fine mean?
Everything’s good. My blood pressure was a little high, so Birdie’s going to bring me to the pharmacy to get a monitor, and I’ll just check it every day. Nothing to worry about.
Doesn’t sound like nothing to me.
Careful. I’ll start to think that your gruff exterior is really just a cover for caring about me.
Not a cover. I’m grumpy.
Three dots filled the screen for what felt like a lifetime.
And I care.
My chest filled with a warmth that shouldn’t be there.
Are you holding up your end of the deal?
I’m already pacing the porch, waiting for you to get back.
Can’t wait to see the horses. It’ll be a good distraction before we go see Jess.
“Lain?” Birdie’s hand landed on my arm, making me flinch. “Sorry. You just went really quiet. And we’re…here.”
“Right.”
Birdie paused before asking, “Is there…”
“What?”
Birdie’s eyes dropped down to my phone, then quickly back up to my face. “Is there something going on between you and Lachlan?”
I sighed. “I told you last week; I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to figure everything out for me. He’s my…”
“Your?”
“Friend. He’s my friend, and he came for me. I just…”
She smiled, probably knowing exactly what I was trying to say even as I struggled to find the words. “You don’t have to explain more. I understand.”
“You do?”
“Maybe not completely,” she smiled, “but I don’t have to push. I should have before, with Greg.”
“It’s fine. I told you, I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Well, I’m glad you had Lach. That you have him now. But you’ll always have me, too. Don’t forget that, okay?”
“I won’t,” I promised. And I meant it. Repairing my relationship with my sister was something I was prepared to work really hard at.
“I’ve got a couple things I want to pick up for Juniper while we’re here. Do you mind if I…” Birdie looked over her shoulder at the baby supply aisle a few minutes later while we stood in front of the three choices of blood pressure machines the store offered.
“Have at it. I’ll just sit in one of those chairs over there, and you can swing by to pick me up when you’re ready to go.”
“You don’t want to pick anything up? My treat. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few things—”
“I’m good. I’ve got a shopping cart online I need to finalize and…I’d rather wait until I figure out where I’m going to be once the baby comes.”
“I don’t think Lachlan would want to hear you talking like that. But, I was thinking about the safe house, and how maybe—”
“No. No, that place is not for me. You’ve worked so hard to get it built while recovering from your injury and everything that happened…I can’t take that from you. I won’t.”
“So, you’ll stay with Lach.”
“Birdie,” I groaned, grabbing the blood pressure monitor closest to me and flipping the box over. They all looked exactly the same, and I honestly just wanted to get home and take a nap.
No. Not home. Back to the ranch.
“You really don’t think he wants a hugely pregnant woman—who is about to turn into a postpartum hormonal nightmare with baby screams added in for free—to stay with him forever, do you?” I asked her.
“Well, yeah. I kind of did. Seeing the two of you together…I don’t know. There’s something there.”
“Yeah,” I scoffed, swapping the box in my hands for the cheapest one offered.
I didn’t need bells and whistles. This would be fine.
“A really weird friendship, that I’m fully taking advantage of and I feel awful about doing that.
So I’m going to fix it. Lach worked on my car, and I looked online last night.
There’s a commercial kitchen in Lark Lake that has an opening.
It’d mean a really long day of cooking and deliveries, but I’ll be fine.
There’s this little house on Mulberry that is for rent, and I could make it work in a few weeks, if I started taking orders right after the baby’s born. ”
“You know I’ll take my house off the market for you. I can rent it to you.”
“No. I appreciate that. But Greg knows that house, and I’d rather not be there.
I’ll figure it out. I don’t need you, or Lach, or anyone else trying to help.
It’s just too much…” Guilt. I couldn’t say it, the word burning in my throat as it tried to escape.
Because I hadn’t been strong enough to stop myself from getting into this situation.
And I knew I had to dig out from the hole I was in by myself.
My sister stared back at me, her eyes shining like she was holding back tears. God, from the way my throat ached, I realized I was, too. Before I could clear my throat, I winced as the little invader kicked my side then stretched his butt up into my ribs.
“Okay. I’m proud of you for having a plan, and knowing what you want to do. I’m going to go get what I need for Juniper.”
“And I’m about to head over to those chairs.”
My sister disappeared around the corner while I turned to head over to the pharmacy, where I’d seen three empty chairs that I’d swear had my name written right on them.
A sale on fever reducers for babies caught my eye for a second. God, I was going to be calling Birdie nonstop. I had no idea about what you could or couldn’t give to a baby. What age was okay to start over the counter medications, what you needed to avoid—
“Why aren’t you answering my fucking calls?”
Greg’s voice wrapped menacingly around me as his hand slipped over my arm. I winced from the pressure of his fingers tugging me toward him.
“I—”
“Where the fuck have you been?”
I yanked my arm back, stumbling as the motion made my balance go off kilter. “Somewhere safe. I’ve been somewhere safe.”
“That’s rich. I knew Birdie wasn’t telling me the truth about not knowing where you were. So what? You’re staying out at the ranch now? I bet Beau and Birdie love having to look after you. That’s pathetic. Truly.”
“It’s none of your business. I told you, we’re through.”
“As long as that baby is in your belly, we aren’t through. Not by a long shot. I’ll take him. No judge is going to give custody of a baby to a homeless mother.”
I took a deep breath to try and stop myself from reacting to his threat. “And no judge is going to take a baby away from its mother, to give it to an abusive father who has an active request for protection against him in the court system.”
His eyes narrowed, jaw clenching dangerously. Why was I provoking him? He could say whatever he wanted to, and it didn’t matter. Lach had promised—
“It’s not active. Ask your little deputy buddy who tried to file it for you. You’re going to regret doing that. My father—”
“Babe.” A soft voice filtered into our whispered conversation from behind Greg. I moved closer to the stocked shelf, expecting whoever it was to go by, but Greg’s face shifted. From hatred to a…softness I hadn’t seen in a very long time.
“Jasmine, honey. I told you to wait in the car.”
My stomach dropped as I looked at the woman and child he gently wrapped his arm around. A gold band resting on his ring finger caught my attention. She had on a wedding set, too. And the little boy in her arms…looked like a carbon copy of Greg.
The edges of my vision went blurry, and I grabbed onto the shelf next to me for support. His eyes were still locked on my face, the subtle warning in the sharpness of his features locking my jaw shut.
Now it all made sense. Why he’d changed as soon as the pregnancy happened.
Why he didn’t want to get married. Why he never brought me around his family.
All those unfulfilled promises that I was too stupid to see as red flags.
He’d made it seem like I was the problem for so long.
That I never felt good enough to do things together, that I wanted a nice life while he had to work far away and for such long hours.
Crashing at his parents’ place…I swallowed down the sudden urge to vomit, pressing my hand to my stomach as I willed my body to snap out of whatever pitiful state it’d fallen into.
“Sorry, Joseph woke up, and then I just got too excited. Wanted to see what painter’s tape they had in here, and if there were any seasonal decorations we could pick up.
You know, like little flags or a wreath or something.
I feel like it will help make the house more homey, for the realtor photos…
I’m so sorry. I’m rambling. Do you two know each other? ”
They’d named their son after Greg’s dad.
And now, here I was, just standing here like a fool.
I couldn’t make my voice work. Everything about this moment felt like it was happening in slow motion.
I was so stupid. Deep down, I’d stayed because I thought there was something there…
some sort of desperate love that bonded us together.
I listened and held hope for all those times he promised to be better.
I let him convince me that the way he treated me was normal, that it was what I deserved. Because I thought he loved me.
But the woman standing in front of me—with her arm wrapped around his back and their son—was proof that I’d never been loved by him. Not for one single second of our time together.
“I’m Jasmine. How do you two know each other?” she asked me directly this time. But still, I couldn’t make my voice work. How could I have been so stupid?
“Lainey and I went to high school together. We were just catching up.”
“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you!” Christ, what the hell was happening here? Jasmine extended her hand out to me, but I just stood frozen, watching as she slowly placed her hand back low on her rounded abdomen.
They had a child together, and she was pregnant, too.
His wife, who he already had a baby with, was pregnant.
I was the other fucking woman.
“We’re just here for the day to see about cleaning out Greg’s rental property.
The woman who lived there before, well, I guess she wasn’t the tidiest person.
We have lots of repairs to do, which is crazy with how much he had to travel up here to take care of things for her.
But it will be a nice nest egg once we get it sold. ”
“You’re selling the house?”
“Oh, do you know it? You’re not in the market, are you?” Jasmine laughed, like the idea of me buying the house where I thought I would raise my family with a man I once loved could be kismet for her and her husband.
My eyes never left the lying bastard's face. “That’s just perfect.” Oh, my voice was definitely back. “Wild that you’d tell her about high school and classify us as just friends.”
“Lainey, you remember that project we had due together in biology?” Greg’s face was all pleasantries on the surface, but I saw the anger simmering beneath. “How you took control and I let you?”
God, this idiot thought a thinly veiled analogy was about to save him from my wrath. “I remember. And you were right to just walk away from that project. Forever. I took care of it, and we were all better off for it, weren’t we?”
Two could play this stupid game.
“Yeah, we were,” he agreed.
“Good. If you’ll excuse me, I’m not feeling well.
” I turned, heading to the end of the aisle to try and find Birdie.
“Oh,” I said as I turned back around, “if I remember correctly, Greg always had a temper. Be careful, Jasmine. It took me far too long to realize I didn’t want to raise my child in an environment like that. You shouldn’t want to, either.”
Jasmine’s eyes went wide as she took a step away from Greg. I heard her hiss, “What the hell is she talking about?” as I turned the corner to try and find my sister.