24. Lachlan
Lachlan
Ihadn’t cooked anything in the toaster today.
Right?
Lainey and I had gotten up, and I’d made eggs while she was getting ready. She had some with a banana, and I checked the stove. I’d checked the stove before we got in the truck. Neither one of us had touched the toaster.
So why was it consuming my thoughts?
I knew why. Because I could remember checking the stove. I’d touched the control knobs. I’d put my hands on the cooking surface. I took a picture of the fucking thing to have some goddamn peace out here.
But I hadn’t thought to take a picture of the toaster being unplugged, and the sinking feeling I was about to return to my house burnt to the ground was worming its way through my body. I couldn’t remember if the damn thing was unplugged or not.
“You good?” Dad’s hand landed on my shoulder, steady.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat, the nerves moving to bounce my strong leg up and down. “No. I can’t remember if I unplugged my toaster or not.”
“That’s okay. Your Ma and I haven’t unplugged our toaster in twenty years. It’s never caused a problem.”
“It’s really not.” My molars sat tightly on top of each other, the stress from my muscles clenching making my jaw ache.
“Because what if I forgot I was making toast? If I was so excited to get Lainey out here that I left it, and there’s a malfunction.
If there’s a fire…I could lose everything.
And I just got her here, Dad. She just started really opening up to me, and feeling safe.
I can’t…I can’t pull that away from her. ”
“Why would you forget—”
“Lachlan.” Ma’s eyes sparkled as she set a bowl of fruit salad out on the picnic table. “Take a breath. What did you say Sloane’s directions were for when your thoughts got like this?”
“I don’t think I can say it in front of you,” I scoffed.
“Sure you can. I’m a big girl. And I love Sloane…”
I smiled. “She told me to tell those thoughts to ‘fuck off’.”
“Right.” My mother placed her hands on her hips, tipped her head back, and yelled, “FUCK OFF BAD THOUGHTS!”
Dad roared with laughter next to me as my jaw dropped and everyone’s eyes turned to her.
“Ma!” Jessie looked horrified as she covered Beckett’s ears. She’d come up a few minutes ago from some time with Lainey, and I’d been trying to read her weird body language since. Maybe I should have gone down to see if Lainey was okay…
“Oh, sorry! I forgot about the little ones!” She shrugged. “Well, it’s not anything worse than what they’ve heard all their uncles say from time to time! Did that help, honey?”
“Usually I have to be the one to do it.” I smirked, watching Lainey walk up from the dock with her plate. It didn’t look like she’d eaten much. “But something about hearing you say those words, Ma, actually knocked it right out of my head. Thank you.”
“Are you okay?” Lainey asked breathlessly as she sat down next to me.
My eyes roamed over her…flushed face, her chest heaving with each breath.
I reached over, gathering her hair and sliding it over her shoulder so her neck could catch the air from the breeze.
Then I reached into the cooler next to me and slid her a new water bottle.
“Drink,” I ordered. “You’re really red.”
Her hand waved dramatically in front of her face as she rolled her eyes. This woman and her constant need to diminish herself…
“I’m fine.” That was all it took for her eyes to lock back onto mine. “I’m worried about you. Do you need me to see you, without asking questions?”
I watched as her hand landed on my arm, gently squeezing before realization washed over her features. Lainey pulled her hand back, her focus now locked in on twisting the cap off her bottle.
“It was touch and go there for a minute, but I’m good now.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you. Why was your mom doing your therapy technique? Can I have a piece of watermelon, please?”
I grabbed a slice from the plate in front of me and handed it to her, trying not to laugh as she bit into it, the sweet juice running down her chin before she had time to wipe it away.
“I just started to spiral a bit…”
Down the watermelon went. “Okay. Let’s get back.” Lainey pushed up from the picnic table, but I wrapped my hand around hers before she could get too far.
“No. Finish your snack. And you haven’t been swimming yet. That was the whole point of this.”
“I don’t need to. I got to stick my feet in, I talked with Jessie, and I’ve been fed. It’s been perfect so far.” She brought her hand up to her mouth, covering a yawn. “I could actually use a nap. I think since I slept so well last night, my body thinks I’m on vacation or something.”
“That water would be great for getting rid of some of your hip and back pain though, Lain.” Birdie sat down across from us, handing Juniper back to Beau.
“And today is looking like the last day of good weather for a while. There’s a big storm coming through in a couple days. I’ve already got the guys moving the herd in closer because it’s supposed to be bad,” Beau added.
I nodded at my brother. “I heard that, too. Grabbed my storm lanterns out of storage. Gotta get to the well house for some water…”
“I’ll drop off a couple gallons later,” Dad offered.
“Thanks. That’d be great.”
Birdie shifted nervously in her seat. “Lainey, maybe you should come stay with us before it comes through?”
“Why?” she asked, taking a sip of water from her bottle.
“It’s just that…a lot of labors start during storms. And the roads out here tend to flood…”
“Yeah.” Lainey sighed. “I remember.”
I looked down at her leg, the scratch she arrived on my doorstep with nearly healed.
“That’s probably a smart idea,” I admitted. Lainey’s body stiffened beside me, but she shook her head.
“I still have a few weeks left. I’ll be fine.”
“Just think about it, okay? No harm in having a sister sleep over, right?”
Lainey laughed at that. “I don’t know. I think my hair is still recovering from the last sister sleep over.”
“That wasn’t my fault!” Birdie giggled. “You told me it would be okay to bleach your hair! I didn’t know it would break off like that!”
“It’s been twelve years, and I still haven’t recovered.”
“Well, I can promise no bleach or hair dye will be on the agenda. Just some sister snuggles and a little bedtime chaos with our berry girl.”
“Who, me, Mama?” Beau’s voice went an octave high as he waved Juniper’s hand.
“Yes, you, mischief maker.” Birdie kissed her toes, and Juniper laughed in delight.
“I’ll think about it. I promise.” Lainey swept her hand over her belly, and I squashed down the itch to reach over and place my hand there, too.
“Come on. You’re going in the water.” I swung my leg over the bench seat, standing as I tugged my shirt off over my head.
“No. No one else even got in.” She crossed her arms, still facing her sister.
“The kids swam.” I laughed. “Well, all except one.”
That got her attention. She turned to me, and I pointed down at her belly. “Can’t let the little guy not get in on the fun. And since you’re the vessel, it does require a little human submarine time on your part.”
“Human submarine?” Lainey looked at me like I’d completely lost my mind.
“You know,” I chuckled, “because the baby will be floating in your belly while you float in the water…”
For a second, I thought maybe the joke wouldn’t land how I’d meant for it to, but Lainey tipped her head back and laughed—so hard she had to hold on to the sides of her belly, which was shaking up and down each time she laughed.
“Alright, easy there, Mama.”
She swallowed, her lips parting softly at my words.
I held out my hand, helping her stand. “Come on. We’ll do it together.” I sighed, unbuckling my jeans.
“Whoa, what’s happening?” Beau asked, laughing.
“I’m not going into the spring wearing my jeans. I have my swim trunks on under here.”
“Careful, Lainey!” Violet called out, walking Connor around the trees. “We’re notorious in this family for the dissolving drawers prank!”
Her eyes went wide as they dropped to look over the neon orange shorts I had on. “These won’t dissolve. Ma got them for me for Christmas a few years ago. Vi’s just being a shit.”
“See you guys later!” Hawk called as he carried Beckett over his shoulder back to their car. “Don’t have too much fun out there.”
“We’re out, too,” Beau declared. “Juniper needs a nap.”
“Connor, too.” Violet waved as she grabbed her beach bag.
“We’ll clear up the food and head back to the house.” Ma smiled, tears in her eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I stepped back from Lainey, my left leg burning as I put too much pressure on it without my cane.
I quickly shifted the weight back to my right, hoping no one saw me wince.
Should have known better, because Lainey was on the move, wrapping her arm around my back as she slipped the hard wood grip into my hand.
“I just…I’m happy for you.” She looked quickly at Lainey before her hands were back on the table, busy handing Dad the plate of watermelon we’d eaten down to the last three pieces.
“Proud of you. It’s nothing. I’m just being a mom.
Lainey, these emotions are coming for you.
They never stop, either!” Ma laughed, clearing her throat.
“You’ll be in your seventies one day with a son in his thirties, and you’ll be crying over seeing him in swim shorts, too. Motherhood is wild.”
“See you two later!” Dad called out as he and Mom disappeared behind the trees. Lainey and I made our way down to the edge of the spring, but she was nervously eyeing the water.
“Let’s go,” I encouraged.
“I…I’m not wearing a bathing suit.”
“You’re wearing…unmentionables…aren’t you?” I asked, my face heating as her lips curved up into a smile.
“Of course.”
“Well, that’s pretty much the same thing. Here. How about I swim out to the middle of the spring and I’ll face away from the edge, so you can get in and not lose your modesty.”
Her bottom lip went between her teeth before she nodded. “Okay. No peeking, though. I look like a hippo right now, and no one needs to be subjected to that.”
“No.”
“No?”
“You look beautiful, Trouble.”
She shook her head, pulling at the edge of her shirt. “I do not. I don’t know a single person who would see me and think that.”
“Yeah, you do. He’s standing right in front of you.” Those damn rosy red lips of hers popped open again, and to stop myself from doing something stupid, I turned, resting my cane on the rocks at the edge of the spring before I lowered myself into the water.
“Jesus!” I breathed out sharply. “It’s colder than I remember.”
“Perfect.” She laughed. “Don’t turn around. I’m almost ready to get in.”
“Scout’s honor—”
Lainey gasped, and I automatically spun around, ready to swim over to her as soon as I saw she was in pain.
Her hands were on her belly, and for a second, I knew she hadn’t felt my eyes on her.
But whatever had happened seemed to pass, and her face went back to normal.
And that’s when her eyes met mine, but only for a second.
Because black lace caught my attention at the top of her chest, and I slammed my eyes shut.
“You said you weren’t going to look!” she groaned.
“And you gasped like something was wrong!” I tried to explain.
“Little invader headbutted me in the bladder, and then I got one of those damn Braxton Hicks contractions.”
“Ouch. You okay?” I asked, my eyes on the sky.
“I will be once I get in this…damn…yeah, oh this feels heavenly.”
I heard the water move around her, little ripples greeting my shoulders as I turned around.
“Absolutely no comments on how I look like a manatee right now,” she grumbled, floating on her back with just her face and belly sticking out of the water.
“More like a little island—” A torrent of water rained over me as her arm splashed water in my direction.
“Be nice.”
“I am being nice.” I laughed, swimming closer to her. Her belly sank down into the water, and I was met with her eyes now level with mine.
“Is your leg okay?” she asked, blinking slowly.
“Yeah. It’s fine. I used to do a lot of water therapy in the beginning of my recovery.”
She paused before she asked, “Do you ever talk to him?”
“Who?” My stomach felt like I’d swallowed a rock.
“Dakota,” she whispered.
I shook my head, flipping onto my back and letting my ears dip below the surface of the water. For a second, the cool water grounded me. I let my feet lower back down. Lainey looked like she was trying to study me.
“I have nothing to say to him. He tried to make things right. I forgave him, but I can’t forget. What he was involved in. The danger he brought to my family. He was my best friend, but he’s a stranger now.”
Lainey nodded. “Do you think…” she paused, her eyes softening. “I know you have a lot of anxiety from what happened, but are you…are you depressed?”
Shit. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to think about how I should answer her question.
“I was,” I admitted. “There were days I didn’t want to go on. There were a lot of days in the beginning when I didn’t think I had anything to continue on for.”
“Do you feel like that now?” she whispered.
“No.” It was the truth. “I have a lot of good in my life to live for.”
Her hands ran back and forth through the water, creating little waves as she moved closer to me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“You can ask me whatever you want. And you don’t ever have to apologize for it. You’ve been an open book with me. I can be the same with you.”
Her eyes dipped to my mouth, before her tongue came out to lick away the droplets of water on her lips.
“I think—”
As soon as her hand rested against my shoulder, I felt something in my shorts pop. No, not anything attached to me. As soon as I realized what was happening, another seam snapped. And popped. And I felt the fabric that was wrapped around my body start to shift away from my skin.
“Oh shit.” I pulled back from her, my hands instantly diving beneath the water before I gave Lainey an eyeful of something she didn’t want to see.
“What’s the matter?”
“My mother has betrayed me,” I gasped. “These are dissolving swim trunks!”
Lainey’s eyes went wide, and then she burst into a fit of laughter. It rang out and echoed off the trees surrounding the spring.
“Dolly might be my hero,” she sputtered.
“I’m going to swim over to the rocks and get out. It’s your turn to face the trees over there and not peek.”
“Oh yeah, Florence. I promise. Go ahead. I won’t peek at all.”
I believed her for about half a second, until the whistle hit the air at the same time my naked behind did.