Chapter 16
Lia
Ididn”t know what he was going to ask, but I felt my question burning behind my lips. I tamped it down and gave him a calm expression.
”What is it?”
My eyelids drooped involuntarily after that orgasm, but Raph looked troubled. There had to be something I could do for him, to help him get the words out. Especially since I knew what I wanted him to say. Instead of waiting, I took the situation into my own hands. To end my personal suffering. There would never be a good time, anyway.
”I know the timing is weird, but I wanted to tell you. I think my brother would have liked you.”
The statement threw him, his brow furrowing. Then recognition dawned.
”What do you mean, would have?”
I sighed and interlaced my fingers. ”He got hit by a drunk driver while he was crossing the street. He”d only been in college a few weeks. That was about fifteen years ago.”
I flicked my eyes to his when I gave him the timeline, searching for some kind of reaction or sign he knew what I was getting at. My brother liked the boy who captured my attention at the party that day. I was always keeping to myself, so it was a big deal. If Henry were still with me, I thought he would like the adult version of Raph as well. Still capturing my attention.
”I”m sorry for your loss. At least he got to experience college for a little.”
”Yeah. He was missing us at home, though. Or he wanted me to think he was. I guess he was glad I was over giving him the cold shoulder for leaving.”
Opening up to someone these days who wasn”t Shell felt foreign, but Raph”s calm helped me through.
”Henry was my best friend and my hero. He was my entire world while he was still alive. I still miss him so much, even though it”s been so long. I was mad he was leaving for college, so I was ignoring him, but then I met this… boy. At his graduation party. I went and told Henry I had my first kiss, and it brought us back together. I”m so grateful Henry and I got to end on a positive note,” I said, my voice cracking. ”But I”m glad I learned to live a life where I wasn”t running after him. Henry deserved that freedom. And I still think about my brother, and that boy. It was a turning point for me. It made me who I am.”
I nodded, confirming with myself. ”Henry would have liked you.”
Raph
Her story about her brother tugged at my heartstrings and brought Geoff to my mind, but the day I left for New York sat front and center. It had the same sense of finality. I left the life I knew for the unknown. I pulled Lia close. I knew the ending of her story.
”I think I remember that day,” I said after a while.
Lia”s eyes misted over. She nodded. ”I think you do.”
Relief coursed through me. That was the confirmation I craved. Lia was my turning point girl. And it turned out I was her turning point guy, too. We hadn”t known the impact we would have on each other at the time, but its significance stood solid for fifteen years.
”I didn”t know you or anyone else at that party. The merry-go-round life I was living was too exhausting to continue. You opened your eyes, and they struck me like a bolt of lightning. So beautiful, yet so sad, so lost. I couldn”t get your eyes out of my mind, and it”s because I was intimate with the emotions I saw in them. You knew what I felt every day. I felt bonded to you even though we were strangers.”
Uttering the words for the person they were meant to be shared with was heavy, and Lia clung to every word. My confession burned its way into my memory, never to leave.
”Fifteen years ago was when I left home for New York. I didn”t have a penny to my name, and had to scramble for a while. But everything works out in the end.”
I bent my head and kissed Lia”s temple. She shivered and wriggled closer to me. The afterglow of our lovemaking had tapered off while we spilled the secrets of our lost souls. I reached down and brought the blanket up over us. She sighed and stroked her soft fingers up and down my arm.
”I want to order something to eat. Are you hungry?” My voice was calmer and sounded strange to my ears.
She nodded, so I left the bed to retrieve an unopened bottle of wine and the room service list. Even if the kitchen was closed, I knew people could be persuaded to accommodate us.
When I returned, Lia had donned the robe from the back of the en suite door. She was perched on the bed like she was destined to be there. There was still a faint glow on her cheeks from our encounter, and her miles of golden hair were the prettiest, most chaotic mess I”d ever seen. She glowed like a precious jewel, shining brighter than everything around her.
Her company soothed me. The more I thought about it, the most I realized I had been shut down to relaxing, intimate nights like these. I”d never allowed anyone so close. Never had I harbored the impulse to bring someone to me. No plans, no agenda, no business; I just wanted Lia. And there she was.
Thank God.
Lia took the kitchen menu from my outstretched hand and glanced over it. We decided on dessert to go with the wine. While we waited, I returned to bed and nuzzled her neck. She smelled sweet. I brushed my lips against her, tasted her, and savored the warmth of her skin under my wine-chilled lips. That warmth spread into my chest.
I felt better than I had any right to.
Lia
Raph and I took turns feeding each other mouthfuls of light, airy strawberry shortcake while we sipped the bubbly dessert wine. I couldn”t imagine a better way to commemorate our spontaneous date.
The flavor of the wine complimented the faint, light sweetness of our dessert. I wouldn”t let myself think of anything else. All other troubles melted away, distant memories I couldn”t conjure. I didn”t have a care in the world. Just strawberries, citrusy wine, and a warm, gorgeous man wrapped around me. It felt like heaven.
When we finished eating, Raph pulled me into his arms, and I went willingly.
”You feel good,” he said into my messy hair.
I sighed, barely clinging to consciousness. My belly was warm from the alcohol, and my eyelids slid closed. I nuzzled into the crook of his arm. So, so warm.
I must have dozed off, because when I opened my eyes again, the room was dark and Raph”s even breaths punctuated the passing seconds. Spending the night felt too heavy. One wrong move and I could tear apart everything that defined me.
I knew for sure that Raph was Mystery Guy. I hadn”t been able to find him because he was gone. He”d left for New York.
Having that information felt right. It was the missing piece I”d filled in a hundred different ways with my imagination, but that was the problem, too. His place in my life was too great.
If I overstepped my bounds, I was going to get hurt. We had a friends-with-benefits thing going, and that probably didn”t include sleepovers. I had no business sleeping beside him, especially since he would leave in the morning for his business trip. I was out of line.
I disentangled myself from the bed linens while holding my breath. Careful not to jostle my sleeping boss, I got dressed, found my purse, and slipped out into the night.
My heart didn”t stop pounding the whole cab ride home.
This is for the best.