Chapter 17
Raph
Isat up and scanned the hotel room at daybreak. It hadn”t been a dream, Lia had been with me. But the empty side of the bed was cold, and the crumbs on our dessert plate were hardened and stale. I wanted to spend a little more time running my hands over her soft creamy skin… especially now that I knew who she was.
Our revelation hadn”t been enough to change reality. She was still my employee, and she ran out in the middle of the night. I had no right to care.
I groaned and rubbed at my temples. Both my mind and body wanted her with me, even if that wasn”t rational.
Why did she go? We could have had some breakfast and quick fun before I left for New York.
I clenched my fists. I wanted just a little more. There was never enough with Lia.
Though I wanted to, I couldn”t stick around lingering and reminiscing, so I packed up what little I”d brought to the decadent room and headed down to the lobby for checkout. I would return in a few short days for Lia”s final presentation of her design for Experience.
My mind was still on Lia when I walked into Experience mid-afternoon. Her sudden departure left me uneasy, and I couldn”t refocus though I tried every tactic I could think of.
Geoff never had these issues because he never got involved. I had. That damage was already done, so what was my next move? There wasn”t space in my life for a woman, regardless of how my heart or my cock felt about it.
What would she be doing while I was gone? Where did she go? What did she do? I didn”t know much about the woman she became.
We had that talk last night, and I found myself wanting more from her. More of her. It unsettled me and brought on an uncomfortable conclusion.
For the time being, I needed Lia. Whether it was for Experience Shoreview or my own selfish reasons… That was a harder question to answer. Regardless of the answer, I still needed her.
Even if our relationship was destined for failure, I knew Lia was worth keeping around for her design ability. I had a good feeling about that. Her capabilities drew me to her before I”d paid attention to her looks, kissed her, or placed her identity.
Even if I didn”t know how to conduct myself with the woman without getting in her pants, at least I knew she was the right fit for Experience. I would know soon.
I really hope I didn”t mess this up.
I sat down at what used to be Geoff”s desk inside the office we had, at one time, shared. If there weren”t memories attached to every corner, the room might seem boring. But not to me. I still missed Geoff and his insight every day. The pale blue walls, soft recessed lighting, and the large oak desk were all big reminders.
A disheveled stack of paperwork awaited me, though, so I didn”t have time to get too misty. To get through it, I would organize, prioritize, and eliminate. I needed to get back on track after my week away.
From time to time, Geoff was behind. Especially when he opened Aire, the sister club. That was a lengthy process that kept him away from the office a lot. With that fact in mind, I cut myself some slack on the mess.
I heard the employee entrance door crash open and flicked my eyes to my watch. Kendall was late.
”Hey, Raph!” He yelled into the deserted corridor.
”In here,” I called back.
”Figures. When aren”t you cooped up in this office?”
”What else should I do while I”m waiting on your chronically late ass? These ”managers” left a mess for me. What do I keep them around for?” I shot Kendall a conspiratory smile.
”Hey, hey, hey. There”s nothing in that pile of crap from me. Check with Judy. She”s the one who can”t think for herself. I got my shit in order, man.”
I stood and hugged my buddy and added a hard slap on the back for good measure. It had been a while since we spent a lot of time together. Things were different with me in charge of everything instead of managing alone. Now I did everything at Experience while I balanced opening another location down across the river. Experience Shoreview was already looking good. But we were short on time.
”How is everything going for you down in Dirty Jersey? And hey, how”s that girl? Lily?” Kendall grabbed a seat across the desk.
I shuffled some of the paperwork around on the desk, looking busy while I formulated the best answer. There wasn”t much left to accomplish. That was good, but it didn”t leave me with many excuses.
”The building is incredible. We”ll do a lot with it. The town is cool too. Lots of young, rich people. Design Everything hit the mark with their initial presentation, and the final design is up for review when I head back. It”s been difficult to get updates, but I”m optimistic.”
If I looked Kendall in the eye, he would see through my evasion. Against better judgement, I looked up. Kendall threw his head back and laughed.
”Wow. Never thought I”d see the day. Raphael has got. It. Bad. It”s shocking to see you fawning over the fairer sex for once in your miserable life. I”m so proud, I could shed a tear,” he said, wiping under his eye.
”It”s not about the girl. There”s crushing pressure to get nail this project. Geoff was a god with this stuff. The man left me everything he built, and his dying words were to find more success in life than him. I need to live up to that. He was like a father to me.” I paused and hung my head, lacing my fingers at the back of my neck. ”I can”t keep getting so distracted, but the more I try to stay focused, the more I can”t stop thinking about Lia. I can”t stop, man.”
”Look. Rome wasn”t built in a day. I”m sure it took Geoff time to get shit done and learn how to manage how he did. You”re not superhuman. That”s where all the pressure is. You”re creating it yourself. And you”ve always been great with the gut stuff.”
He kicked me under the desk. ”And dude, it sounds like forgetting the girl isn”t on the table. If I were you, I”d stop trying.”
I needed reassurance in my ability to run the business, and I didn”t need to hear how badly I had it for this girl. Although…
What Kendall was telling me was probably what Geoff would have told me, too. Despite our relationship being business focused, Geoff was always telling me how I needed to get out more. That”s why he initially encouraged me to have a roommate; so I wasn”t alone as much.
Kendall and I balanced each other out. I was spiraling out of control now that I was alone. There was no one to tell me to stop and take a break, job well done, or to focus on what mattered in my heart. That realization made loneliness stand front and center.
”So let me get this straight. Everything is going off without a hitch. There”s a smoking hot babe working for you, and she”s talented to boot. Nothing bad has happened whatsoever, but you still wanna bail?” Kendall leaned back in his chair, rocking it with his foot on the corner of my desk.
”Geoff wanted me to bring Experience to new heights, and that”s what I”m doing. I can”t get distracted by gorgeous women.” I sighed, moving more papers around.
”Okay, for sure. Do that. Look at our profits this last year; they”re insane. And so are your expectations for yourself. Like it or not, you”re mortal just like the rest of us sad suckers,” Kendall said, standing up. ”And by the way, did you ever notice a woman on his arm? Where does that rank in terms of success?”
Kendall never let life accrue much meaning. He was always smiling, joking, living like he didn”t give a damn. But this version of Kendall was as serious as a heart attack. I furrowed my brow, considering the question.
How successful, really, had Geoff been if he was alone his whole life?
”I guess it”s a matter of perspective and priorities.” I stood, too.
”Okay, so what are your priorities? Because from what I”m hearing, they are Lia first, and Experience Shoreview second. What do you think about that?”
”I”ll have to figure that out.”
Unease danced under my skin and I was more than ready to put that question back in its little pocket in the back of my mind. I would think hard on that one while I drowned in catch-up work.
My schedule was pretty full while I was in New York. Boys” night with Kendall. Going over the accounting for Experience tomorrow. Then, the employee check-up and evaluations at Aire, and reviews for both. As soon as all that was done, I would be back down in Shoreview to meet with Lia for her final design presentation.
And once the Shoreview location was up and running, I wouldn”t have a reason to see Lia again. We lived in different states, led different lives. It wasn”t reasonable.
It wasn”t as if I was falling in love with her; it was just that I harbored a lingering fascination for the woman I met so long ago. Maybe that shouldn”t matter, but it did.
”You coming or not? I”m getting out of this dump!” Kendall hollered from down the hall.
I shook my head as I grabbed my coat off the back of my chair.
”What”s the plan tonight?” I asked as I climbed into the cab of Kendall”s truck.
”Well, I thought we”d hit the strip club, but seeing as you”re head over heels for a Jersey girl, we”ll visit the old corner bar instead. When”s the last time we were there?”
”Years. I could use it.”
The Corner Bar was my first job in New York. It was where Geoff discovered me slinging bottles as a self-taught mixologist.
Kendall was a good friend. Even if he was a jokester, he knew me well.
And the bastard wouldn”t let me forget it.
We pulled up in front of the tired old bar after a couple minutes, ready for a great night.
”Look, it”s still the same. They never did get that gutter fixed up right. Ha!”
The Corner Bar looked remarkably unchanged. A sign in the tiny window read ”Mixologist Show Come In”, but it faded past legibility.
Walking through the heavy wooden front door, the whole place felt faded. Things, people, and places all changed for a reason, and this wasn”t an exception. I should be glad that this bar wasn”t all The Big Apple had in store for me.
It was funny; now that I ran Experience, I drank wine more than anything else, yet my start was as a mixologist. When was the last time I threw around behind the bar?
Kendall and I took seats a few stools down from where a few old heads had their eyes glued to a game on TV. There was no one at the tables and not even a soul standing behind the bar. It was eerily similar to the night I had wandered in looking for work.
”I never saw this place so dead. When I walked through the door that first time, you were back there juggling and moving like a pro. It was standing room only.” Kendall shook his head and slapped me on the arm. ”Let”s get out of here. I know a club that”s got some average grub and some fine ladies.”