Chapter 12
REID
Ipushed my cart through the bright aisles of Erewhon on a quiet Saturday morning, eight days after I’d last laid eyes on the woman I loved. Therapy had been forcing me to sit with uncomfortable truths these past couple of weeks, and today, my mind wouldn’t let me escape them.
I kept catching myself reaching for things without thinking.
A jar of sea moss gel I thought Lila would like because she had mentioned wanting to try it.
The blue goop was supposed to be great for skin and hair health, something about collagen production if I was correctly remembering what she’d said.
A bag of chili lime dried mangoes she always kept in her pantry for late-night cravings.
A small bottle of raw honey I knew she wanted to try for her morning tea, but she’d always rolled her pretty hazel eyes over the price.
Each item felt like evidence of how much space she had taken up in my life without me fully realizing it until she was gone.
I’d always known she was important, but I had also convinced myself that being constantly available for work made me a good provider.
A responsible man. Someone Lila could count on.
Therapy was stripping that illusion away, one painful layer at a time.
I had treated her needs as background noise.
Something I could address later when the next big deal was closed or after the next crisis was handled.
I had minimized her discomfort because it was easier than confronting how much of my energy I poured into the firm instead of us.
Now that Lila was no longer there to absorb it, the pattern felt glaringly obvious.
I stopped in front of an absurd facial wellness display, staring at an edible face mask that somehow used magnets to mix the ingredients.
The packaging was sleek, and the product was wildly overpriced.
A month ago, I would’ve made fun of it and rolled my eyes at the latest LA wellness trend that had gone viral on social media.
But Lila would’ve been all over the mask. She would’ve laughed and insisted we try them together, turning the whole thing into something ridiculous and fun. She had a way of making even the silliest things feel special. That ability was one of the reasons I’d fallen for her.
The weight of missing her pressed heavier against my chest with every passing day. Everywhere I looked, I saw pieces of the life I had taken for granted.
I was so absorbed in the thought that I didn’t notice when Sienna pushed her cart into the aisle and spotted me. She murmured my name, and I glanced up, catching the surprise that flashed across her face.
Then her expression quickly smoothed into warmth and sympathy. “I’m so sorry things ended with my sister the way they did.”
“So am I.”
That was all the opening she needed to continue, “My sister didn’t realize how lucky she was. You were way more patient than most guys would’ve been.”
My brain must’ve been slower than usual because it was just now dawning on me that she was on my side. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“She gets emotional sometimes, you know?” She shook her head with a sigh. “Honestly, she’s always been dramatic. A youngest sibling thing, I always thought.”
She reached out and touched my arm briefly, a sympathetic gesture that felt completely wrong. “When she came to our parents’ house to give us the news, I told her she was overreacting.”
I stood there, feeling sick to my stomach. While my mom had been rightly taking me to task for failing the woman I loved, her sister had been berating her for making the difficult decision I’d forced her into.
Even worse, I heard Lila’s voice in my head, the memories loud and clear of all the times I’d said similar things to her. Only now I heard the words the way she must have taken them.
Before I could correct Sienna, movement in my peripheral vision pulled my attention toward the end of the aisle. It was Lila’s parents, their faces lighting up when they saw me.
“Reid!” her mom exclaimed warmly, hurrying over to pull me into a hug like I was still part of the family. “It’s so good to see you.”
Her father gave me a pat on the shoulder. “It’s been too long, son.”
I felt as though I’d somehow stepped into an alternate reality. Their daughter had called off our wedding after I’d royally messed up, but they were acting like I was still practically family.
Victoria barely paused for breath. “We haven’t told everyone about the broken engagement yet. The invitations already went out, and we’re hoping Lila will calm down soon so we don’t have to cancel everything.”
David nodded. “She does have a tendency to overthink everything.”
“She’s just acting emotionally right now,” Sienna agreed.
Victoria waved a hand dismissively. “She’s going to realize she made a mistake. She always does.”
David made a tutting sound beneath his breath. “She gets in her own head.”
Every sentence sounded like they were discussing a difficult child instead of the woman I loved. I grew quieter as they spoke, the knot in my stomach tightening. No one seemed to notice the shift in me. They kept talking as if Lila ending our engagement was just a temporary hiccup.
Victoria somehow managed to sound almost affectionate when she murmured, “You know how she is.”
They were making Lila out to be a child throwing a tantrum instead of a woman who had been deeply hurt, and something inside me finally snapped into focus.
It took every bit of my willpower to use my calm courtroom voice. “Actually, I don’t think I know how she is.”
Their ridiculous chatter finally stopped, and I continued, taking their narrative apart piece by piece.
“Lila wasn’t dramatic. She repeatedly expressed her valid feelings, while I downplayed them.
When she asked for reassurance because I put her in an uncomfortable situation, I refused to admit anything was wrong.
She tried to fix things between us until she finally gave up because she was doing it all by herself. ”
“I’m sure you did your best, dear.” Victoria patted my arm again. “You’re a partner in a successful law firm, so your time is more limited than Lila’s. It’s only right that she carries more of the weight at home.”
She still wasn’t getting it, so I decided to be more blunt.
“I made her feel small.” I looked each of them in the eyes—David, Victoria, then Sienna. “And I don’t think I was the first person she loved who did that to her.”
I could see the shift in their expressions as their mouths gaped. The statement had an impact on them, but it wasn’t nearly enough.
“You taught her that being loved meant earning it. And that she had to question herself every time she had a feeling you didn’t agree with.”
That finally shut them up. They didn’t know how to respond.
Victoria looked offended, her lips pressing into a thin line. David shifted his weight, suddenly very interested in the products on the shelf beside him. Sienna’s expression hardened into irritation, her arms folding tightly across her chest.
I didn’t wait for them to find their words. I gave them a small nod and walked away, leaving them standing in the middle of the aisle.
As I moved toward the checkout area, I realized I hadn’t tried to make myself look better or shift the blame. Defending Lila had been more important than what her family thought of me.
Doing the right thing hadn’t felt complicated at all. Which was ironic, considering I’d spent months making things harder than they ever should’ve been.