Chapter 13
LILA
Iwas sitting cross-legged on my living room floor Saturday afternoon with my makeup kit spread out around me, pretending reorganizing it served some grand purpose beyond keeping my hands occupied.
Brushes sat in neat rows beside me. Foundations had been grouped by undertone and coverage level.
Lip products were lined up by shade family.
I had already cleaned everything this morning, but apparently, my brain had decided the solution to emotional instability was aggressively alphabetizing expensive cosmetics.
At least it kept me from staring at my phone. Whenever I looked at it too long, I started thinking about Reid and how he seemed to have changed for the better.
Nope, not going there.
I shoved another tube of concealer into a compartment with more force than necessary.
My phone started ringing beside me, and I glanced at the screen. My mom, because of course.
After their most recent texts, I already knew what this was going to be. More pressure.
I answered reluctantly. “Hi, Mom.”
“Thank goodness you answered, Lila.”
That wasn’t the greeting I expected, or the tone. She sounded offended.
Before I could ask what had happened, she launched into a tirade.
“Lila, you will not believe what happened today. Reid started lecturing us in the middle of Erewhon, like he had every right.”
“Wait, what?” That didn’t sound like him at all. He was the guy who smoothed things over and made everyone comfortable, which was probably why he spent most of his time successfully negotiating deals instead of arguing cases in court. “Mom, what are you talking about?”
“He accused us of the most ridiculous things.” Her indignation grew with every word. “Like making you feel small.”
I frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Apparently, we’re responsible for all your insecurities now,” Mom continued, clearly upset. “Can you believe the nerve? Everyone was staring.”
I tried to process what she was saying, but my brain felt like it had short-circuited.
Reid had defended me. He’d stood up to my family and called out how their nitpicking made me feel small. I’d never used that particular word to describe it to him before, but it was fitting.
Mom kept going without pausing for breath. “I don’t know what got into him, Lila. He was unbelievably rude.”
I disagreed with her description. It sounded like all he did was tell them the truth even though it must’ve been uncomfortable for him.
“He completely misrepresented everything we said. Your father and I were only trying to help you. And Sienna certainly didn't appreciate being attacked either.”
As Mom continued talking, her voice growing more frustrated with every sentence, the wall I’d put up after I ended my engagement started to crack.
I couldn’t believe the person who had defended me to my family was the same man I had walked away from.
They’d been on their best behavior around Reid, but he’d still sat beside me through their subtle jabs and found ways to explain it away later when I brought it up.
He’d encouraged me to give them grace and understand where they were coming from.
He’d never been mean about it, but he hadn’t protected me either. Until now. When it was already too late.
I stared down at the blush palette sitting open in my lap, but I wasn’t seeing it anymore. Not while shock swirled with something that felt a little too much like hope.
Being mad had been easier. But now confusion was creeping into all the places anger had filled over the last week.
“Lila?”
Mom’s voice pulled me back to our conversation. “What?”
“I asked if you were listening.”
“Sorry.” I pressed my fingers against my forehead. “I’ve had kind of a long week.”
“Well, I hope you’re happy.” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “Your father, Sienna, and I are all upset, and Reid has decided to act irrationally. If you hadn’t called off the engagement, this never would’ve happened.”
My heart was broken, but she was seriously lecturing me because they’d been a little embarrassed in a grocery store, where most likely nobody had been paying any attention to their conversation. Somehow, even after Reid had been so blunt with them, she still didn’t understand.
“Sorry, I have to go.”
“But—” she sputtered.
“I'll talk to you later.”
I ended the call before she could say anything else. The last thing I needed was more accusations, criticisms, and guilt trips. She didn’t care about what I was going through except for how it impacted her, Dad, and Sienna.
And I needed to come to terms with the new crack in my emotional wall. It was small but definitely there.
Someone had finally stood up for me. And it had been the same man whose choices had broken my heart. The contradiction left me feeling like the ground beneath me was shifting in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
I needed reinforcements.
Someone who actually gave a damn about my happiness.
I called Kinsley, and she answered on the first ring. “Okay, spill. What’d the jerk come up with to top the chicken salad smorgasbord?”
“You’re not going to believe this.”
I told her everything, glossing over the painful details since she already knew most of the story. I explained how Reid had confronted my family at Erewhon, how he had stood up for me when they started their usual routine of tearing me down.
“Wait, he actually went after your parents and Sienna? It’s about damn time someone did!” She let out a low whistle. “I wish I’d been there to see the look on your mom’s and sister’s faces. I’ve always wanted to see them put in their place. I bet they clutched their pearls so hard they left marks.”
“Oh, they absolutely did, judging by how she sounded during our call,” I agreed.
“I wonder who’s more shocked, us or them?
” She giggled. “All this time, they’ve been thinking Reid is out of your league, and he’s the one to cut them down to size in an Erewhon of all places.
I swear your mom only goes there for the status, like it’s a flex to pay twenty-five bucks for a glass bottle of hyper-oxygenated water. ”
I found myself laughing softly with her. “She was pretty pissed that it happened there.”
“I only wish it’d been somewhere even more embarrassing for her.” Her voice softened but was still full of fire as she added, “You deserve a guy who’ll have your back no matter the situation, and it sounds like Reid is finally starting to figure that out.”
“Yeah, but it only makes all of this harder,” I admitted.
Kinsley’s tone grew gentler. “Nobody gets to tell you how fast you’re supposed to move through this.
This doesn’t mean you have to run back to him.
Just that he’s finally really seeing you.
Maybe he pulled his head out of his ass too late, or maybe this will make a difference for you.
Only you get to decide. Not Reid. And absolutely not your family. ”
I wiped my eyes and took a shaky breath. “Thanks for helping me put all this in perspective.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Her tone lightened as she joked, “And I might as well put all those years of therapy to good use.”
That was one thing Reid had shared with me that I hadn’t told Kinsley yet because the information felt private. But she had way more insight into the process, so maybe I was short-changing myself by not bringing it up.
“So…um…Reid is actually going to a therapist now.”
“Wow, admitting he needs to work on himself can’t be easy for him,” she murmured.
I traced the edge of the couch cushion with my finger. “He said he’s trying to understand why he kept dismissing me.”
“So many men would rather die than sit with a therapist and look at their own shit. The fact that he’s going when he knows it might not make any difference with you is a really good sign.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I’m scared to believe it.”
“Which is totally fair because I still want to fly out there to kick his ass. Therapy or no therapy. Confronting your family or not. He still made my bestie cry way too much.”
I laughed through the tears that had started forming again. “Noted.”
After hanging up with Kinsley, I examined my own feelings with a kind of cautious curiosity I hadn’t allowed myself in days.
I felt a little lighter and less alone. But the fear that Reid might slip back into old patterns continued to linger.
I wasn’t ready to forgive him. The hurt was still too fresh, but the work he was doing had created enough of a crack in my armor that the faintest light was shining through where there had only been anger and pain before.
I reached down and touched my bare finger, tracing the spot where my engagement ring used to sit. As I gently ran my thumb over the empty space, the future I’d been grieving didn’t feel quite so impossible anymore.