Chapter 16
REID
My phone rang just after eight o’clock on Sunday morning. I glanced down at the screen and froze when I saw Lila’s name.
For a second, I thought I was imagining it. Although she’d texted me about going to coffee on Friday, this was the first time she’d called since the breakup.
I’d spent weeks being the one reaching out, trying to maintain the delicate balance of making sure she knew I was thinking about her while also giving her the space she needed.
My pulse kicked up as I answered immediately. “Lila?”
“Hey.”
Something in her voice had me straightening in my chair. “What’s wrong, baby?”
There was a pause before she answered, “My mother texted.”
I closed my eyes as she continued, hating her family still had the power to hurt her…and used it.
“She’s still convinced I’m overreacting,” Lila continued, a brittle laugh slipping through the words. “Apparently, I’ve always struggled with compromise.”
I used to brush off Victoria’s criticism as typical mother-daughter stuff. Now it made me furious because I finally understood how deeply it had hurt Lila, and how much I had contributed to that pain by staying silent.
“I’m sorry.” The words felt inadequate. “I hate that they still have the power to hurt you like this.”
A soft exhale came through the line. “I hate that part of me still wonders if she’s right.”
The admission sounded like it had been dragged out of her. I didn’t know what to say except that I hated that she’d spent years carrying that belief around. But this wasn’t about my feelings. “Which part?”
Silence came over the line, then she finally answered, “I think it mostly boils down to questioning if maybe I’m just hard to love.”
Her confession was devastating. This gorgeous, smart, kind woman actually believed she might be too hard to love. And I’d helped put that thought there.
“Lila, no.” My voice cracked, but I didn’t care. My pain was nothing compared to hers.
“My entire life has felt like a series of people telling me to be smaller. Less emotional. Less sensitive. Less everything.”
I gripped the phone tighter as I got to my feet, grabbed my keys, and strode into the garage. Driven to be closer to her in case she needed me for more than a phone call.
“I got so good at it that I stopped noticing I was doing it.”
I climbed into the car. “You should never have had to do that.”
A quiet sob came through the line. I listened to her cry the entire drive over, feeling completely helpless.
When I pulled into her driveway, she whispered, “Hold on a second. Someone’s here.”
“It’s just me, baby.” I killed the car’s engine but didn’t get out. “You don’t have to let me in, but I wanted to be here in case you needed me.”
“You’re here?”
I glanced up and saw her looking out the front window as I answered, “Yeah.”
The door opened, and every coherent thought in my head disappeared. She was letting me in, and I couldn’t afford to fuck this chance up.
I climbed out of the car and walked into her home. We stood there staring at each other after she closed the door, until I reached for her hand. When she didn’t pull away, I led her over to the couch.
We sat next to each other, and all I could do was look at her. Her hazel eyes were still wet from her tears, but they were soft in a way they hadn’t been since I broke her heart.
Pulling her closer, she buried her face in my chest while she worked through her pain and frustration. I just held her, stroking her back and pressing soft kisses to her hair. But somewhere in the quiet, comfort slowly shifted into something heated.
She tilted her head back, and the distance between us suddenly felt unbearable. My gaze dropped briefly to her mouth before returning to her eyes again. She licked her lips, but I didn’t move. The choice of what happened next needed to be hers.
For one terrible second, I thought she was going to pull away. Even though it was what I wanted more than anything, I was surprised when she leaned forward.
The first brush of her lips against mine was tentative. Almost cautious. Like she was still figuring out whether this was really happening.
My hand tightened around hers as a rush of longing and gratitude slammed into me. I’d missed her so fucking much.
When she kissed me again, the hesitation faded. Years of loving her and weeks of missing her crashed together, making it impossible to think about anything except her lips on mine.
I lifted my free hand and gently cupped her cheek. “Lila.”
She made a soft sound and shifted closer. The movement shattered what little control I had left.
I kissed her this time, trying to pour every ounce of love I still carried for her into the press of our mouths. I was terrified this would be the last time I ever got to hold her like this.
For a few precious moments, the rest of the world disappeared while I enjoyed the feeling of finally being close to her again.
But when she climbed into my lap, I sucked in a sharp breath. My forehead dropped against hers. “Baby.”
Her eyes met mine, beautiful and vulnerable. Shining with trust I hadn’t earned back yet. But I was terrified of taking advantage of her pain.
“We don’t have to do this.” My hands settled carefully at her waist as confusion flickered across her face.
“You’ve had a rough morning. After everything I’ve put you through, the last thing I want is for you to do something you’re not ready for because you’re hurting.
I want you so damn much, but I need to know you’re sure. ”
“I am.” She covered my hands with hers as she took a shaky breath. “I know this doesn’t fix everything, but I think I need it.”
If she needed me, then that was exactly what she was gonna get.
I captured her mouth in a deep kiss and didn’t stop as we stood and stumbled toward the hallway.
My hands slid under her shirt, and we bumped into the wall, then the side table, neither of us willing to break the kiss long enough to see where we were going.
The little desperate sounds she made against my mouth went straight to my head. And my dick.
We barely made it to her bedroom. When we crossed the threshold, I pressed her against the wall, devouring her like I’d been dying without her. She kissed me back just as fiercely, her fingers digging into my shoulders, and her body arching into mine.
Weeks of frustration and fear exploded between us in the best way possible.
I walked her backward until her legs hit the edge of the bed, then eased her down onto the mattress.
My heart pounded so hard I could barely think straight.
I wanted to be gentle with her. To show her how sorry I was with every single touch.
But when she grabbed the hem of her sweater and yanked it over her head, revealing a peach lace bra that barely contained her breasts, all my good intentions burned away.
A tortured groan tore from deep in my chest. I stepped between her spread thighs and gently pushed her back onto the mattress. Her hazel eyes were dark with a storm of emotions I knew mirrored my own.
I leaned down and kissed the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder, sucking lightly.
She made the softest, sexiest sounds that went straight to my cock.
I captured her mouth again, and she threaded her fingers into my hair, tugging hard enough to sting.
The desperation between us was almost painful.
I pulled back just enough to yank my shirt over my head. When I looked down, she was already working on her jeans. The sight of her fingers trembling at the button made something feral snap inside me.
“I’ve waited too damn long to have you like this again.” My voice was strained. “Let me.”
I hooked my fingers into the waistband and dragged her jeans down her legs, quickly tossing them aside. The sight of her lying in nothing but peach lace nearly short-circuited my brain. She was so fucking beautiful it hurt.
I shoved my own jeans and boxer briefs down in one rough motion, kicking them away. Then I was on her again, kissing her like I was trying to erase every mistake I’d ever made.
My hands roamed greedily over her body. Cupping her breasts through the lace before I dragged the cups down, exposing her perfect tits. Then I latched onto a nipple with my mouth, and she arched off the mattress with a broken moan, her fingers tightening in my hair.
I sucked, licked, and gently bit, switching from one to the other until she was writhing beneath me. Her breath came in short, desperate gasps as I tugged her bra off while still paying homage to her perfect tits.
“Reid,” she whimpered. “Please.”
I moved lower, kissing down her stomach until I reached the lace between her thighs. I pressed my mouth against her through the fabric and licked. She was soaked, and her taste made me groan.
I didn’t have the patience for gentleness. I hooked my fingers in the waistband and tore the lace. The sound of ripping fabric filled the room. Then my mouth was on her, devouring her like a man possessed.
I slid two fingers inside her tight heat and curled them, stroking that spot I knew drove her crazy while my tongue worked relentlessly over her clit. She came hard, crying out my name, her thighs shaking around my head.
“Reid, yes! Oh yes!”
I kept licking her through every aftershock until she was trembling and gasping, her hands fisted in my hair.
Unable to wait any longer, I climbed up her body, fisted my aching cock, and pushed inside her in one deep, desperate thrust. The feeling of her tight heat surrounding me was almost too much.
I buried my face in her neck and fucked her hard. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”
Instead of answering with words, Lila wrapped her legs around me tighter and met me thrust for thrust. Her nails dug into my back hard enough to draw blood, but the pain only made me fuck her harder.
We were a mess of need and unspoken pain, chasing our release like it could fix everything that had broken between us.
When she came again, clenching around my cock like a vise and sobbing my name, I followed right behind her with a guttural groan, spilling deep inside her as the world narrowed down to nothing but the woman I loved.
We stayed locked together afterward, breathing hard. I held her close, pressing kisses to her damp forehead, terrified that when I let go, the walls between us would slam right back up.